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Anybody here feel as though they had strict and/or overprotective parents?

Some examples I am thinking of (not necessarily from my own experience) are being told what to wear, not being allowed to decorate your room, not allowed to go on school trips/holidays, issues with dating, severe or strict rules that verge on being militant, ie the way you clean your room or the way you are spoken to, not being allowed to make important decisions yourself, being pressured with studies/school.

You get my drift?
 

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On the occassion that I am gripped with panic or anxiety, I often curse the day that my fathers sperm met my mothers egg. What that's got to do with it I don't know.

My mother believes that she has been overprotective to me. Whether this is a ruse for me to get me off my fat arse and stop relying on her when my life goes to shit, or is the truth, I don't know.
 
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I had OVERprotective parents, who never allowed me to do something without being so nervous! My mother is a classic case of nevrosis untreated. She never worked (took care of her parents), because she wasn't unable, she never drove (too dangerous!!), she was always anxious for us, since my birth. She is highly suspiscious, always think she never do the things correctly, always think people don't like her, people are always better than her, etc. She is so obsessive about cleaning, it's not normal, but for her it is.

When I was a young woman, I went out in the bars, and she waited for me, at 3 AM, awake, because EACH time she was anxious.

About overprotection, she never pushed me to do activities or hobbies like exercice (it was for boys LOL, and dangerous too!) and when I was doing a hobby and didn't like it at the first class, she ALWAYS told me : then quit! So I wasn't involved in afterclass activities.

I think she was so anxious that we'd be ill, not normal, dead by accident, etc. That she transmitted those fears to us. (My sister is shy, doesn't work for now and has OCD).

Now I realize all that and that makes me angry. I KNOW she didn't do things correctly, and sometimes I say it to her, and she become so sad and angry and tell me : I never do things correctly, and start to cry. I can't say anything to her. But it burns inside me. Lately, I can't stand to see my family because I see the picture, and that makes me SO angry. I become mean and she ask : why are you so mean to me? It's because of all THAT.

She was racist, kind of homophobia, she was afraid of all, and that makes me so angry.

Again, when she comes to my house, she has to clean all up, because it's automatic for her. She always buy me things because I need them. I feel like a 8 year old kid. I hate this and I am trapped in this. She calls me nearly each day. When I am not at home, she always ask, where were you? Until she founds out.

Anyway, sorry, I don't know why I say this here. Maybe because I am tired.

Cynthia :oops:
 
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I love my parents, and my relationship with them has improved over the years, at least with my mother (I still can't give my father a hug!)

but, they were overprotecting when I was a child. I grew up with a lot of anxiety. As a child, I did not get the love or attention that is "normal". I felt that I was raised in the wrong family, and at age six, I fantasized about belonging to a family with more loving parents. My father hit me when he came home from work. My mother were "ill" most of the time, staying in her bedroom, when she was not shouting at us kids. As me and my sister grew up, we weren't allowed to have friends over to play, and we were only allowed to visit friends under strict control by my mother. My sister weren't allowed to have friends and go out in the evenings - I felt sad for her!

My mother didn't work and didn't drive. She also made me and my sister scared of water, and neither of us learned how to swim until we got 30. I still can't swim and I also don't have a drivers license - I'm even afraid to ride a bike around the city - actually I have become afraid of very many things: leaving the house, riding a train, staying out after dark, going to the dentist, afraid of the "end of the world", of getting old, of getting sick...many things.

This anxiety goes hand-in-hand with my DR/DP, or so I feel! Also, the first time I had a DR experience was at age 9-10...makes me think...
 
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both of my parents were in the military. i had no chance of turning out normal lol. i also grew up with alot of anxiety. always trying to please my parents, which is difficult. they were strict and over protective cuz "the world is evil..." there wasnt any physical abuse but there was a lack of emotional support.

oooh and i was always pressured to do good in school. i was a good student til highschool and then decided i didnt like school anymore. i would do just good enough to pass my classes then slack off the rest of the time and go party. im in my 2nd semester of college atm and trying to keep focused. so far i havent picked up my highschool habits again.
 
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I was abused as a child by my father and it made me sad and angry growing up, he was very brutal, i can go on and on but its alright, i have no emotion for him right now, neither anger or love. My mom was overprotective but i love my mom because she loves me back, honestly if i didn't have my father around beating the crap out of me during my childhood, i definitly would be a completely different person. Its just that over the years through childhood and my teens i have psychology made myself into who i am today and only have limited time to change.
 

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Extremely overprotective parents, both raging narcissists. Believed in constant grounding, spanking and manipulating as forms to get me to "be obediant". Both very self centered emotionally.
 
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My relationship with my parents is good now but it wasn't always. I was the third of four kids. My mom was overprotective, neurotic and distant. My dad was also distant but used to come home from work and beat me or my mom and occasionally my siblings. That stuff kind of messed me up.
 
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Both my parents are neurotics & my mother was very overprotective. Until I got dp/dr & she couldn't do anything to fix me & it started affecting her & she thought she was getting it that is when the good relationship stopped. Now the only thing that causes my anxiety is her, she gets on my nerves, belittles me & is jealous of me.

So if this dp/dr is a behavioural thing that we have learned than surely we can unlearn it people!
 
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Over protective and nagging mother - not nagging in the tradtitional sense but "Mind you don't spill this, watch out fo that" etc. This easily explains my lack of self faith - I mean, what sort of moron can't carry a cup of tea.

My father is by no means perfect but I think I've made him out worse than he is over the years - but I just couldn't hep it. Sometimes he's brilliant, other times a complete twat, shouting and swearing. I was hit, but nothing major really. But it did seem extreme at the time. Think I got half kicked up the stairs once for not moving fast enough or something - the memory is hazy. But he's not a monster, it wasn't all the time and I never got bruises or anything.
 

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This is like a Psychoanalysist convention ! They have a notice over the door saying 'It's all your parents fault'.

Sorry. Only joking. Don't want to make light of childhood trauma, but we must be carefull not to aportion blame where is it warranted, and I'm sure in your cases it is. The blame culture sometimes deflects attention from the real problem, and belittles personal responsibility. I mean, on one end of the scale - physical, sexual and psychological abuse, sure - but I've know peope who attribute their problems to something like 'not being allowed up late to watch the TV'. If you know what I mean.
 
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My family life was always good, except for my sister who on many occassions tried to kill me. One time she tried to tip the grandfather clock over onto my head. It probably would've killed me instantly, but luckily it missed. Another time she tried to run me over with her honda civic. The latter landed her in jail. She also used to verbally abuse me calling me a "loser with no friends" every single day. I became suicidal because of this as it was true. I had no friends at all and I was teased by everyone. Luckily, I started at a new school the next semester and made a few friends. However, the effects of my sister's verbal abuse carried over into the later years and I had severe severe social anxiety that continues to be a problem til this day.
 
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Pure Narcotic said:
My family life was always good, except for my sister who on many occassions tried to kill me. One time she tried to tip the grandfather clock over onto my head. It probably would've killed me instantly, but luckily it missed. Another time she tried to run me over with her honda civic. The latter landed her in jail. She also used to verbally abuse me calling me a "loser with no friends" every single day. I became suicidal because of this as it was true. I had no friends at all and I was teased by everyone. Luckily, I started at a new school the next semester and made a few friends. However, the effects of my sister's verbal abuse carried over into the later years and I had severe severe social anxiety that continues to be a problem til this day.
:eek: Fuckin 'ell, that's disgusting! :evil: :evil: WHY?! What an evil twisted cow. :x
 
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LoL mrmole. It's all good. Remarkably me and my sister are pretty close now. She got her act together and she is about to graduate with a degree. She's also getting married in June. So, ya see, things do work out for the best :roll:
 

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my parents weren't overprotective at all, some winters I went to school in a swimsuit. Just kidding. Actually I think they didn't listen to me enough, otherwise I might have gotten help earlier. My friend's mom is protective as hell which I envied as a child but now it's gotten quite extreme though they've always been like this ?. Yet my friend is all happy and determined (though bit of a control freak), I think by watching her mom's behaviour in general my friend has learned to act opposite of mom's worst features.
 
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ther are a couple polls related to this in the poll section--

Would you say you parents were/are selfish?

No, I would not consider my parents selfish.
43%

Yes, I consider my parent to be selfish.
56%

Another one asks if people had a happy childhood-- more said they did, than that they didn't.

My own parents were a weird mix of too controlling and totally checked out.
 
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I would definitely consider verbal and physical (and sexual) abuse as a child extremely hurtful. I suffered the first two, and the sometimes hurtful things my parents said about me as a boy still affect how I think about myself (negatively). As a child, I was singled out (more than my siblings for much of my life) for most of the abuse, apparently because "I reminded my father of my mother." That still pains me.
 
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i have good parents, I think at times my father tries to be overprotective. I dunno its a weird situation really. Its like at times he didn't care & at other times he cared too much. I dunno............
 
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