Joined
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1,146 Posts
you can't stop DP
but you can stop chasing the rabbit, so to speak
whether or not you WANT to? hey, a lot of the days I don't.
but that's the thing
it doesn't matter what has happened to us in the outside world
it doesn't matter who we are or who did what
----
Janine has a point, but...
for me the "focus outward" was a little straightforward and sometimes the way out is not straight through but kind of off to the side.
i mean i sure as hell did it and a LOT cause i just went out and kept doing stuff
-------------------
but
-----
think of the law of inertia for a moment. something will keep doing what it's doing unless force is applied.
if something is moving, it will keep moving.
if something is NOT moving, it will keep NOT moving.
until a force is applied.
now, which is easier: FORCING something to start or stop, or not doing anything?
guess what kids: you really don't have to force anything. you can take that second option of NOT DOING ANYTHING and still have the same effect.
but it takes a skill that takes a good long time to learn.
you have to (and you will and probably on some level do) know IMMEDIATELY when an obsession starts.
(the dp-type obsessions and symptoms usually occur AFTER another obsession, such as trying to mentally change or fix a real life situation. or the obsession could be OCD, like touching a door three times. if you stop lying to your damn selves, guys, you can see that this whole time of your DP career there was always something ELSE that you were a tad bit obsessive over, and that's got to go. [not that i'm a saint.])
now, kids, here's the million dollar question:
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STOP THE DP AND TO FOCUS OUTWARD?
Answer: Because you had started SOME type of obsession over SOMETHING, LONG before the dp thoughts entered your head.
example: you wish you bought milk at the store and now you wont' have time. ok, whatever, everybody does that.
but oh god you can't stop thinking about it. you say:
"if I HAD bought the milk I wouldn't have to get it LATER. And now that i have to get it later something important that could have happened today wont. I might miss a conversation with the right person or the answer to some question. because i have to go get milk in that time slot where the other situation was supposed to happen. i've ruined the whole fabric of reality because i PLANNED to get all my shopping done now and the whole course of my life is giong to change."
or maybe:
"i must wash my hands now because they are contaminated. I just know it."
"i need to find out from Amy exactly why she didn't say hello to me today. I bet she hates me. I know it. That bitch. i have to find this out NOW."
....if you don't have thoughts similar to any of the above, i can damn well guarantee you you have SOME kind of obsession going on.
"should i do A or B today and what are the consequences?"
"do i have cancer?"
etc.
any attemtps at controlling reality or trying to make sure everything is perfectly ok or disparing over reality...can start an obsession.
"fear starts when you have something that you're afraid to lose or when you are concerned that you won't get something you want."
there are a whole bunch of things you WANT. and people whom you want to act in certain ways. and all sorts of things that you feel you need to go exactly as planned for you to be happy. once you start trying to control or run the show, obsessions start.
because you think you can control.
so, what if you were able to start recognizing these obsessions? and let them go RIGHT THERE AND THEN AT THE ROOT?
all dp really is, in a nutshell, is the extreme result of non-acceptance of reality that you had a long time ago that you obsessed over or tried to change and it went out of control and you still tried and tried and tried.
and if you can start to realize when YOU are not accepting something, I promise you it will get better. because then you are able to have a choice, to drop the obsession right then and there, or chase it like a madman and obsess over it until you are to the point of DP-related thoughts and then you have to try to focus outward.
because not doing it in the first place is a fuck load easier.
but you can stop chasing the rabbit, so to speak
whether or not you WANT to? hey, a lot of the days I don't.
but that's the thing
it doesn't matter what has happened to us in the outside world
it doesn't matter who we are or who did what
----
Janine has a point, but...
for me the "focus outward" was a little straightforward and sometimes the way out is not straight through but kind of off to the side.
i mean i sure as hell did it and a LOT cause i just went out and kept doing stuff
-------------------
but
-----
think of the law of inertia for a moment. something will keep doing what it's doing unless force is applied.
if something is moving, it will keep moving.
if something is NOT moving, it will keep NOT moving.
until a force is applied.
now, which is easier: FORCING something to start or stop, or not doing anything?
guess what kids: you really don't have to force anything. you can take that second option of NOT DOING ANYTHING and still have the same effect.
but it takes a skill that takes a good long time to learn.
you have to (and you will and probably on some level do) know IMMEDIATELY when an obsession starts.
(the dp-type obsessions and symptoms usually occur AFTER another obsession, such as trying to mentally change or fix a real life situation. or the obsession could be OCD, like touching a door three times. if you stop lying to your damn selves, guys, you can see that this whole time of your DP career there was always something ELSE that you were a tad bit obsessive over, and that's got to go. [not that i'm a saint.])
now, kids, here's the million dollar question:
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STOP THE DP AND TO FOCUS OUTWARD?
Answer: Because you had started SOME type of obsession over SOMETHING, LONG before the dp thoughts entered your head.
example: you wish you bought milk at the store and now you wont' have time. ok, whatever, everybody does that.
but oh god you can't stop thinking about it. you say:
"if I HAD bought the milk I wouldn't have to get it LATER. And now that i have to get it later something important that could have happened today wont. I might miss a conversation with the right person or the answer to some question. because i have to go get milk in that time slot where the other situation was supposed to happen. i've ruined the whole fabric of reality because i PLANNED to get all my shopping done now and the whole course of my life is giong to change."
or maybe:
"i must wash my hands now because they are contaminated. I just know it."
"i need to find out from Amy exactly why she didn't say hello to me today. I bet she hates me. I know it. That bitch. i have to find this out NOW."
....if you don't have thoughts similar to any of the above, i can damn well guarantee you you have SOME kind of obsession going on.
"should i do A or B today and what are the consequences?"
"do i have cancer?"
etc.
any attemtps at controlling reality or trying to make sure everything is perfectly ok or disparing over reality...can start an obsession.
"fear starts when you have something that you're afraid to lose or when you are concerned that you won't get something you want."
there are a whole bunch of things you WANT. and people whom you want to act in certain ways. and all sorts of things that you feel you need to go exactly as planned for you to be happy. once you start trying to control or run the show, obsessions start.
because you think you can control.
so, what if you were able to start recognizing these obsessions? and let them go RIGHT THERE AND THEN AT THE ROOT?
all dp really is, in a nutshell, is the extreme result of non-acceptance of reality that you had a long time ago that you obsessed over or tried to change and it went out of control and you still tried and tried and tried.
and if you can start to realize when YOU are not accepting something, I promise you it will get better. because then you are able to have a choice, to drop the obsession right then and there, or chase it like a madman and obsess over it until you are to the point of DP-related thoughts and then you have to try to focus outward.
because not doing it in the first place is a fuck load easier.
