[JodieS]

Hello everyone! ♥︎ I'm an 18 year old girl who first developed DPDR due to anxiety when I was fifteen years old. I've had ups and down, but as everyone knows, at He start it is excruciating to slowly feel as if you're slipping away from yourself and all things familiar. Most days it seems like you're walking through the motions, unable to interact with what you thought you knew. I saw evil in everything I saw; the surroundings looked sinister, my family were like gargoyles to me. My limbs looked distorted and I will never forget thinking that I was unable to speak due to this horrible disorder. The one thing that made me unhappy was denial- it was tearing me apart, this condition. I dropped out of school and then college because of it. I made my parents cry because of the hysteria I was going through, especially at night. Nothing seemed worth living anymore and I couldn't shake this "boredness". That's until I realised that feeling sorry for myself wouldn't do anything. I was young, I was close to killing myself a few times, and now I realised how stupid and ungrateful that was. So I started going out, getting into different things rather than my usual hobbies. I was emotionless but ENTERTAINED. I think it's so important for a person with DP to have hobbies. Fortunately, I'm a very obsessive person, so I switched out happiness to interest. I measure how much I like something by my interest. Of course, I still feel emotions, but they're just very numbed. The one thing that helped me along the road was time. And trust me, don't think you're gonna get rid of this thing straight away. You'll go through hell and back until you just don't care and that's what hurts the most. But the more you don't care and get on with life, the more you tolerate the DP symptoms. Trust me, after a while you'll forget you have it, and the strange symptoms start to go away until you remember them. Not being connected to the world is my new normal and that's okay for now. YOU WILL SURVIVE. Even if you don't recover. Don't give in to DP, you have to be strong and you WILL be strong after fighting for so long. Every time having DPDR makes you depressed and no longer wanting to live in this world, think of the one thing that you love. The one thing that you'd do anything for. For me, it was my family, who I owe a great deal to. Especially my little nephew, who is one of the most important people in my life and distracted me in my most darkest times.

Live every day how it comes, learn to live the way you are, and trust me it's better than being sad the whole time. If anyone wants to contact me I can give you my Instagram so we can chat and if you want any clarification of symptoms or advice, feel free to message me! ♥︎

Lots of love and stay strong everyone ~ Jodie