[Guest]

I had gone to Kenneywood, amusement park outside of Pittsburgh, PA, with my family yesterday for my husband's shop picnic. They entire time I was there, it felt like a dream. Everyone around me seemed to close yet out of reach if that makes any sense. I kept telling myself don't ruin this for your daughter and husband, just keeping smiling and get through the day. Life is so short and it seems like I am wasting the best years of my life because I can't get over this. To make matters worse I was just beat from the sun and the humidity and being seven months pregnant that all I wanted to do was lie down when I got home. I feel half way asleep for maybe five minutes and when I came back to the DP/DR hit me like a ton of bricks and I even found myself questioning if I had actually even gone to the park today. What in the holy hell is this all about. Just looking for advice and words of encouragement. Thanks in advance.
Kate

 

[Sojourner]

It seems to me that your DP is a metaphor representing your emotional distance from the people with whom you should be intimately close. Your DP will disappear when you regain the links of love and caring with your husband and your daughter. The absence of emotional connection with them is the cause of your DP.

I'm not saying you did or are doing anything wrong. But inasmuch as DP is a symptom, we can look at it as a metaphor for something. If I'm wrong, and it's not a metaphor for emotional nurturing and bonds of love in your immediate family, then look inside and find out what it is a metaphor of. Is it a fear of losing nurturing bonds? A fear of something else?

Your task, should you agree to accept it, is to locate the thing that your DP is keeping you from fixing.

 

[berlin]

Kate you're exhausted! Take it easy on yourself and rest as much as possible. Not that pregnancy is an illness but most people would be exhausted by a busy day with too much heat and no time to 'relax' because they are in company without that added concern. My DR becomes worse when I'm tierd Im only glad I didnt experience it through pregnancy. Take care.

 

[bright23]

Heat, humidity, amusement parks, husband's co-workers, seven months pregnant... that's over the top. I agree with Berlin. Plenty of rest. And if you're feeling sh*tty, don't put so much energy into hiding it for your family's sake.

"I kept telling myself don't ruin this for your daughter and husband, just keeping smiling and get through the day."

Your described day appears to be a perfect excuse to be in a total crap mood. That's okay, we all deserve those. I think your elevated DP/DR last night is more likely a result of the strain of putting up a front for the sake of your husband and his coworkers. We DPrs can be expert fakers, but unfortunately we are fully conscious of our bullsh*t and this is what damages us by the end of the day. Its totally exhausting to keep that smile while we feel like hell on the inside. It would be much better for you and your husband if you could feel comfortable being yourself in all situations, instead of occasionally having to pretend like everything's okay when its not.

Next time your get DP/DR review your day and see what happened leading up to it.

And congratulations on your soon-to-arrive baby!

 

[Guest]

Berlin and bright23 thanks for your posts. Sojourner, my husband and daughter are may life and reason for being. I will admit that I find it hard to connect with them since my DP/DR has hit this level and they sometimes feel like strangers but if it wasn't for them, I simply would not be. There is no "metaphor" that is going to be my way out of this just time and understading to why I think and feel this way in the first place. When I get to know and accept myself better, then and only then do I believe I will get through this.
Kate

 

[Universal]

i believe sojourner was talking in a way to describe some treatment of emotional unrest that is used by shrinks. metaphors are used to "code" experience if you will. i believe i know what sojourner is saying here. there are some hidden causes to dp/dr for all of us i believe, and getting on the road to recovery is partially helped by discovering these "limiting beliefs" or to stop acting out certain patterns or "metaphoric meanings" of our lives.

these metaphors are how some hypnotherapists use language to treat things like depression and anxiety. not saying you have to get hypnotized or anything, i just recently read a book on this dude who was a great hypontist named Milton Erickson. He used metaphors alot when treating his patients.

 

[Monkeydust]

I think we all understand what Sojourner was getting at, but, like WhereAmI, I don't really agree with the point of view.

Sure, DP can be a kind of "metaphor" for other matters, but usually the problem is with the person themselves and, though that might also manifest in problems with interpersonal relations, the source of trouble is within oneself, not exclusively in regard to your relationships and emotional attachments to others.

 

[Sojourner]

WhereamI said: "... understanding to why I think and feel this way in the first place."

-----

If I am not mistaken, this is the very thing Janine (and the assorted experts and recovered former DPers) say is the very thing you should NOT do.

I used the term "metaphor" without knowing it was used by some therapists.

I'm so glad I was mistaken, though, WhereamI, and that your family is a support.