[shadowness]

hell man i hate this part...i just want to accept that who i see in the mirror is me!

we have a full length wide mirror on the landing part where the stairs split into two...so whenever i walk up or down the stairs i see the whole of me...walking...blinking...looking at myself and i cannot stand it!!!

i hate seeing me so much! it just does not look like me! i look at th person in the mirror and just panicly think "who the hell is that?"

i am getting more and more frightened of it...

anyone with any comments or advice please post...

thank you...

 

[Guest]

dont look at the mirror

 

[dakotajo]

good point.

 

[Guest]

Sometimes I actually do the opposite.
I stare into the mirror for what seems an abnormal time.
I soon lose interest and decide yes for some reason I do appear to look different but what can I do about it but assume that my appearance has not in reality changed,my perception has.

If somebody screamed on seeing me and said half of my face had faded away,I might worry.

Shadowness,the mirror thing is all part of it.
I personally don't care to analyse it.It will change eventually and won't bother you any longer.

Best Shelly

 

[university girl]

Shadowness, can you pinpoint what it is about you that you don't recognize or is it just a general feeling that you have no explanation for?

 

[enigma]

It sounds like you have one image of yourself in your head, but the image you percieve in the mirror is more or less in direct conflict with it.

e

 

[gem]

shadowness I understand what you feel. I look in the mirror sometimes and ask myself where did I go, where did the person I once knew so well go. It is frightening. I believe though that what happens is that we are totally exhausted from all the anxiety and stress and it can make us feel all kinds of things. You will feel better again and you will be able to look into the mirror and feel the way you used to.

gem.

 

[shadowness]

thank you all so much for your replies...really appreciate it...

Shadowness, can you pinpoint what it is about you that you don't recognize or is it just a general feeling that you have no explanation for?

i cannot pinpoint it at all...it is just a frightening and surreal sensation when i see myself in the mirror...or just any kind of reflection...

It sounds like you have one image of yourself in your head, but the image you percieve in the mirror is more or less in direct conflict with it.

to be honest it does not feel like that...just feels like i cannot accept that who i see in the mirror is me...that is what i look like...i cannot imagine myself looking any different...i do no have a different image in my head...it is just that i cannot connect with the fact that..yes...that is me!

 

[enigma]

Could it be part of a larger overall identity issue?

Do you have the sense that "shadowness" is really someone else, and you are a mere observer of this individual (hence your inability to connect with that person in the mirror)?

e

 

[shadowness]

Could it be part of a larger overall identity issue?

Do you have the sense that "shadowness" is really someone else, and you are a mere observer of this individual (hence your inability to connect with that person in the mirror)?

e

i know i am me...i know who i am and know that i always have been me and always will be...i can remember how it was to look at myself in the mirror when i felt 'normal' and remember how it felt not to feel odd seeing myself...

but most recently everytime i see myself it feels like i am just an observer looking at someone i recognise but does not really feel like me...

so i suppose when you say "have the sense that "shadowness" is really someone else, and you are a mere observer of this individual" i suppose the answer is yes.

hell man it just scares me so much.

 

[Guest]

When I look in the mirror, I know Im looking at myself (but it doesnt feel like that).
But the person I see is not the person I feel I am during the day. So, looking at myself in the mirror connects me with a part of me I dont feel connected with normally.
Ive been DPed for about 12 years now and I dont have any recollection of how I felt before it started, so I cant compare. I can only feel when I look at myself: who is that woman? Oh thats supposed to be me.
O, doesnt look so bad at all..LOL
And then I feel better.
LOL :roll:

But, it does scare me Im so disconnected from myself.

 

[enigma]

i know i am me...i know who i am and know that i always have been me and always will be...i can remember how it was to look at myself in the mirror when i felt 'normal' and remember how it felt not to feel odd seeing myself...

but most recently everytime i see myself it feels like i am just an observer looking at someone i recognise but does not really feel like me...

so i suppose when you say "have the sense that "shadowness" is really someone else, and you are a mere observer of this individual" i suppose the answer is yes.

That's what I meant by "identity issue" (and not whether you thought you were Bjork or something like that :wink: ).

As in, basically you feel divorced from yours, which is what I experience myself.

I can identify with the 'mirror thing', as you refer to it.

But for me it's just one more thing amongst a sea of things, each difficult to separate out from the others and examine framed within it's own individual context (maybe that's what threw me off at first).

But I totally get what you're saying.

e

 

[enigma]

Of course, you have to deal with a swirling sea of things, also.

But being much younger and more energetic than myself, you're able to examine these various things with a much clearer head than I can.

To me they all just blend together into a single bewildering murk.

e

 

[shadowness]

To me they all just blend together into a single bewildering murk.

e

i really know what that feels like...infact if i could think more clearly about each thing i think i would feel better...it is the mush of it all...where everything just seems to keep rolling with no joins,...i hate that so much.