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I see this a lot too. A lot of us with dp are so upset that life is passing us by while everyone else is laughing or playing sports or whatever.
well, one of the symptoms of mental disorders is CERTAINTY on things that could NOT be more false.
I used to be CONVINCED that thinness equaled happiness and that NO one that was thinner than me had an eating disorder.
and well, being the uneducated gal i was, I obviously was too good to do the real research.
ok, guys. when you see people walking and laughing...and you think that it's because they are truly having an ecstatically good time, think for a minute.
to be able to laugh, to TRULY laugh and as deeply and uncontrollably as possible, takes going through great pain in life, through tragedy and through struggles and through letting go and admitting to your silliness and mortality and not taking the obviously painful world so seriously.
THAT is what laughter is.
Yeah you see kids laughing and playing. But can you compare that to the person who HAS to laugh? I will tell you, the person that HAS to laugh because he is in so much pain knows and loves the joy of his laughter, he laughs so hard and so honestly he is sometimes found doubled over on the ground with enough tears streaming out of his eyes to fill a shot glass. he is laughing so hard he loses motor function and makes the typically cynical people around him wonder why he is so joyously laughing. That kind of laughter he laughs can only be achieved by going through some very hard times.
He will feel for situations most people would not even consider, he would find joy in things most people would complain about, he would dare to do the things that most people would NEVER think of doing.
He is who you will be eventually. I know it sounds somewhat condescending to say that "oh this will make you stronger"...no, it will make you capable of SO much more emotion than you could ever imagine, and SO much more understanding and patience and ability than you could ever dream of having had before.
and maybe those people that are enjoying themselves SO well in your eyes, they're finding joy in very simple pleasures because they know how hard it is to find even ONE good moment in their OWN lives.
Do not judge them so. You cause an unfair disadvantage to them and you.
but people whom you see as REALLY enjoying themselves have probably been through quite unspeakable hell themselves.
think about how you see rich kids in high school who are either a bubbly, fake happy or deeply cynical or just kind of apathetic...they haven't usually experienced REAL loss or REAL pain, so their emotions are actually quite nil. they're still children.
they aren't in "love" because they haven't taken the incredible risks and made the incredible leaps and sacrifices it takes...they haven't had the mistakes and pain it takes before you find a good lover...
they haven't been truly happy, they're probably more worried about losing what they've got, or about how they can acquire more things...
Those people you see laughing their hardest, or making the most glorious hit of the ball in any sport, or creating the most beautiful art, or hitting the impossible notes in a song, THOSE are the people who know pain as well as you and i do. They're not just laughing for no reason at all, they're not just doing damn well for no reason at all. They're not enjoying themselves because they are free of tragedy. No, they are enjoying themselves DESPITE and in the face of tragedy.
They have overcome great personal feats.
Those people that are just merrily enjoying themselves, the ones that don't feel too deeply yet are mentally healthy...sure, they're more comfortable than you now but it's the same as saying that the jobless pothead is far more comfortable than the typical MIT undergrad. Who wins in the end?
And if you're comfortable for that long, eventually hell will creep up on you slowly.. and it would be too late by then, you would have refused to change or understand it.
but your'e not that.
you're experiencing this right now. everybody has to experience some discomfort. the fact that you have experienced SO much discomfort will, in the end, free you so much more to take the risks one needs to take to live a truly full and beautiful life.
Or you can just walk in the park and "sort of" be happy now while someone else wonders why they can't be happy like you. Of course you won't know not to take your happiness for granted, chances are you ARE taking it for granted and worrying about losing ten pounds. Chronically worrying. THAT is the semi-happy-comfortable person who walks and laughs through life without falling. They're not that happy.
well, one of the symptoms of mental disorders is CERTAINTY on things that could NOT be more false.
I used to be CONVINCED that thinness equaled happiness and that NO one that was thinner than me had an eating disorder.
and well, being the uneducated gal i was, I obviously was too good to do the real research.
ok, guys. when you see people walking and laughing...and you think that it's because they are truly having an ecstatically good time, think for a minute.
to be able to laugh, to TRULY laugh and as deeply and uncontrollably as possible, takes going through great pain in life, through tragedy and through struggles and through letting go and admitting to your silliness and mortality and not taking the obviously painful world so seriously.
THAT is what laughter is.
Yeah you see kids laughing and playing. But can you compare that to the person who HAS to laugh? I will tell you, the person that HAS to laugh because he is in so much pain knows and loves the joy of his laughter, he laughs so hard and so honestly he is sometimes found doubled over on the ground with enough tears streaming out of his eyes to fill a shot glass. he is laughing so hard he loses motor function and makes the typically cynical people around him wonder why he is so joyously laughing. That kind of laughter he laughs can only be achieved by going through some very hard times.
He will feel for situations most people would not even consider, he would find joy in things most people would complain about, he would dare to do the things that most people would NEVER think of doing.
He is who you will be eventually. I know it sounds somewhat condescending to say that "oh this will make you stronger"...no, it will make you capable of SO much more emotion than you could ever imagine, and SO much more understanding and patience and ability than you could ever dream of having had before.
and maybe those people that are enjoying themselves SO well in your eyes, they're finding joy in very simple pleasures because they know how hard it is to find even ONE good moment in their OWN lives.
Do not judge them so. You cause an unfair disadvantage to them and you.
but people whom you see as REALLY enjoying themselves have probably been through quite unspeakable hell themselves.
think about how you see rich kids in high school who are either a bubbly, fake happy or deeply cynical or just kind of apathetic...they haven't usually experienced REAL loss or REAL pain, so their emotions are actually quite nil. they're still children.
they aren't in "love" because they haven't taken the incredible risks and made the incredible leaps and sacrifices it takes...they haven't had the mistakes and pain it takes before you find a good lover...
they haven't been truly happy, they're probably more worried about losing what they've got, or about how they can acquire more things...
Those people you see laughing their hardest, or making the most glorious hit of the ball in any sport, or creating the most beautiful art, or hitting the impossible notes in a song, THOSE are the people who know pain as well as you and i do. They're not just laughing for no reason at all, they're not just doing damn well for no reason at all. They're not enjoying themselves because they are free of tragedy. No, they are enjoying themselves DESPITE and in the face of tragedy.
They have overcome great personal feats.
Those people that are just merrily enjoying themselves, the ones that don't feel too deeply yet are mentally healthy...sure, they're more comfortable than you now but it's the same as saying that the jobless pothead is far more comfortable than the typical MIT undergrad. Who wins in the end?
And if you're comfortable for that long, eventually hell will creep up on you slowly.. and it would be too late by then, you would have refused to change or understand it.
but your'e not that.
you're experiencing this right now. everybody has to experience some discomfort. the fact that you have experienced SO much discomfort will, in the end, free you so much more to take the risks one needs to take to live a truly full and beautiful life.
Or you can just walk in the park and "sort of" be happy now while someone else wonders why they can't be happy like you. Of course you won't know not to take your happiness for granted, chances are you ARE taking it for granted and worrying about losing ten pounds. Chronically worrying. THAT is the semi-happy-comfortable person who walks and laughs through life without falling. They're not that happy.
