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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im scared of my own existance. What the hell is existance?!?

Im sitting here, existing in this reality, and I dont understand wtf it is!?!

Im so scared about existance existing!

I look at faces and dont understand wtf it is! I know its a face but its just meat and eyes!

What is this vessel that we call a body?!

Why are we alive? What is life?!?

Life, existance, reality, it shouldnt exist!

But what if nothing existed, what would happen then? You cant go deeper in the rabbit hole than that!

WHAT IS THIS WORLD AND WHAT AM I?!!?

Needed to write down some thoughts of mine.

Does anybody else relate?

Good luck to us all
 

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There is a physical world. As biological creatures, we interact with the physical world we live in. Humans live in generations. The human race has done a poor job of recording, and have forgotten their origins.

You could say the evolutionary process was not favorable to keeping a precise history. Humanity's destination is unknown. Life on earth has been almost completely eliminated on at least 20 prior known occasions. Undoubtedly, there will

be more threats to our planet's ability to support life. The body is the functional structure of a human. It consists of cells and organs so that it can accomplish

the 7 things that living creatures do. 1)they move 2)they breathe 3) they interact with their environment 4)they grow 5)they reproduce 6)they eliminate waste 7)they eat.
Why are we alive? We have been sentenced to life by our parents who had sexual relations to conceive us.

Life, existance, reality, it shouldnt exist
I don't think it's up to you.

The world is a planet with life in a solar system in a galaxy in a universe with you on it.

We don't know that much about you. In 100 years, it won't matter to any of us who are alive at this time.

Seek pleasure, avoid pain. Hope for the best.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I feel like I am stuck in existance. I wanna turn off existance (like a tv or something) and go out into the real existance. But there is nothing else, THIS IS IT!
I dont know what I am or what anything is. Im so scared but yet I dont feel anything.
Doesent even feel like DpDr anymore, just feels like Ive gone mad. I feel incredibly lonely. Cant find peace, dont know what to do.
:(
 

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Life is weird man, but as long as we are here we should at least just try to enjoy it. Thinking about life and existence sure as hell aint gonna be enjoyable, at least not for me. I used to have your thought pattern as well. It subsided slowly over time, because it became useless and annoying. There will be better times man, hang in there ;)
 

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I agree with DD. You can have these thought patterns as part of an existential quandary.. We don't know where we came from, and we don't know where we are going. We fear the fact that we have to live and die in this uncertainty.

Some people adopt religious beliefs in the absence of facts, to ease their minds as they go about the process of consuming and reproducing.

The universe provides sensory information to its biological inhabitants. I make the analogy that our environment sends out waves in a large bandwidth

which our senses receive and analyze. Some creatures have sensory systems that we do not. Bats have sonar, some critters use infra red.

Some creatures have more intelligence with which to analyze, while others have less. That is the norm. What is abnormal, is when your brain's temporal lobe

is pathologically whacked because it is the tuner with which you process the sensory input from your environment and also from your own body..

So it is one thing to have the normal debate about existence, but quite another to debate because you have no emotional context to assign to important

relationships (Somehow, my own family seems alien), or your own body. (my hands don't seem to be mine, I don't recognize my image in the mirror.)

I would define the latter as dp/dr (loss of self perception, loss of environmental perception).
 

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Yikes this post definitely brings me back. What you're describing and experiencing sounds exactly like what I dealt with. The hyperawareness of your consciousness is a sort of suffering thats as terrifying as it is indescribable, even to others with dpdr. However you'll get through it with time. I did.

You can either try to push the thoughts deep down and hope they never resurface, or you can just let your mind loose to try and find a resolution. Ask yourself "why" you're scared of this awareness, and how it actually affects you. It's altered perception, nothing that can hurt you. It might fundamentally change the way you view life, but that's okay in a way. Let your mind race and do it's thing. Ride the "high" of extreme depersonalization and it will stop gripping you. Eventually it'll chill out and you can go back to being fully invested in life.

I still get brief episodes of this hyperawareness, but as long as I'm in a decent place mentally I can just let the thoughts flow and pass and in only a few minutes time I'll be back to normal. You can do the same.

Good luck :)
 

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Hell yeah I ask myself these questions everyday.

What is existence? Why is it even a thing? Why is there life? What the fuck is life? Are all these even necessary?

Why MUST I be in it? I have no fucking choice.

Thinking about these makes me feel extremely hopeless and depressed, as well as become all acutely aware of my own existence and reality around me, and it's sooooo overwhelming. It is all toooo mysterious to handle.

I feel you 100% on this. I'm sorry we are going through this. At least I know I have a friend and it makes this planet a tiny bit less scary.
 

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I ponder this questions on a daily obsessive basis, but you know what bothers me more? The majority of people do not share my thoughts or question their existence, they are simply content attaching to different roles and personality structures which keeps them grounded.

Here's one answer, you can't possibly as a human being know why you exist and you must not search for that answer but rather search for ways to ground and distract.
its been 10 years for me now, drop it and let go.

Focus on life and the positives and stay away from the unexplained. Be perplexed with the wonder.

Good luck
 

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Can't relate. I have a healthy relationship to this question. It's a fun thing to ponder occasionally, but I see absolutely no reason to obsess over it or to be afraid. Why would I be afraid? It's going to stay the way it is, no matter how much I obsess, or don't obsess, about it. That's the beauty of it all, that there's no answer.
 

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Reality is what you experience and decide is real. (Assuming, of course, that you are aware of when you are hallucinating. Some people think hallucinations are real, so look example here.)

Existence is questionable. We tend to think that the things we experience are real, but since we can't directly perceive anything (just electrical signals in the brain), we don't really know if things exist. This is the idea behind movies such as the Matrix. This is also why some prominent thinkers say that there is no way for us to tell if we actually exist, or are just characters in a vast simulation.

To put it more simply, reality is what we decide is real. If several of us agree, we have a consensual reality, or more plainly, a belief system. There is not necessarily any correspondence between the color you see as "red" and the color I see as "red" except that we have agreed to call it that. You can prove this by closing one of your eyes alternately. The colors slightly shift for most people between our two eyes. We have no way of knowing how different the colors are for others.
 

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I ponder this questions on a daily obsessive basis, but you know what bothers me more? The majority of people do not share my thoughts or question their existence, they are simply content attaching to different roles and personality structures which keeps them grounded.

Here's one answer, you can't possibly as a human being know why you exist and you must not search for that answer but rather search for ways to ground and distract.
its been 10 years for me now, drop it and let go.

Focus on life and the positives and stay away from the unexplained. Be perplexed with the wonder.

Good luck
Most people do question their existence, the only difference is that they aren't obsessive about it. Hyperawareness + obsessive thinking = dpdr

The trick is to let those thoughts be and they will subside eventually or they'll become part of you, but wont scare you anymore.
 

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I know its not an exact science, but it does keep you in the dpdr loop. I probably should have been more thorough, but heck my brain is lazy AF
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The things you mentioned may be possible perpetuators to some people, yeah, but I just had to point out that it's not quite so simple that the whole disease-or its causality-can be boiled down to those two items. That's just doing everyone a disservice by oversimplifying the matter.
 

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The things you mentioned may be possible perpetuators to some people, yeah, but I just had to point out that it's not quite so simple that the whole disease-or its causality-can be boiled down to those two items. That's just doing everyone a disservice by oversimplifying the matter.
You're totally right. It looked as i was trying to say that hyperawareness and obsessive thinking causes dpdr, but i was meaning to say that those two will keep you in longer than necessary. But i don't think you actually got a choice after all, it's all about making progress and recovery has SO MANY stages it's bizarre.
 
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