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Hey all. 41 year old male here. Been struggling with disassociation/depersonalization for a few years now. Lots of anxiety my whole life. 7 months ago I got sober from alcohol. Been doing AA and the 12 steps. Since getting sober, I’ve realized that I’ve also used porn/masterbation (sorry if I’m not allowed to talk about that here) as an escape for pretty much my whole life. Was just my way of coping and not being present. Well, 4 days ago I eliminated my sexual acting out cold turkey. Haha my goodness, it has been brutal. My mind feels like it’s gonna explode. Taking away my main numbing technique has left me convinced I’m actually going insane. Everything seems not real. My head is pure fog and feels like it’s 80 pounds. And I just keep convincing myself that the switch finally flipped and I’m going to feel like this forever. I feel like none of my friends would understand this, so here I am. Sorry for the ramble, but I’d love to hear from anyone who can relate to anything I’ve said. Thanks.
