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Wondering

The first day I got dp, I didn't know it,
I literally smoked weed at like 2 in the morning, I was raging mad, then 2 seconds later after a couple of hits, I just went completely calm, and then I was like
Well I'm not mad anymore, I guess I'll go to bed..
Then waking up the next morning, my speech was slurring terribly, my dad was talking to me and like nothing in my head popped up what to say
I kinda always went with my heart or my head on what to say, and literally what I felt when someone was talking to me was nothing, literally it felt like the right thing to do is to say nothing, and then my dad was like why aren't u responding, I tried to just say something and it slurred hard, and it was like I didn't know what to say

So I'm just thinking, what happend to me that night, do I have dp? Or did I just smoke some crack and now I'm fucked?
I didn't have anxiety right away from it, what gave me anxiety was I went to work
And everyone was talking to me, and literally I didn't know what to say, literally my friends would talk to me like normal like they did the day before, but now it's like I have zero to say, and that made me anxious, cus I didn't want to come off as weird or like I don't know.. kinda nerve wrecking when u don't know what to say ever
It's like if someone asked me my favorite color, I know it's blue, but I wouldn't just say blue u know what I'm saying, I would joke or something, I guess or something like that, now zero comes to my head and I'll just say blue cus I know that's the answer
Idk it's weird
And also like sounds really bothered me, that was like a first symptom to, also I analyze a lot, I don't know That's just how my brain works, I feel like I see everything, like slight details, if someone is like kinda mean or anything, I don't know it's weird, and my old girlfriend was like the complete opposite, like so oblivious to everything

Anyways I think my analyzing is what makes me worse, cus I could be like making a tap with my foot, and then listen and hear a sound in another room, and tap my foot again and then that sound from another room happens again, and then all of a sudden now I'm thinking everytime I tap my foot that sound is gonna have, and it just fucks with my brain and it goes on and on

I don't know where I'm getting at..

Someone did say, maybe we've always had these mental illnesses, just maybe they were trapped deep down, and doing these drugs is what brings them out

I don't know, just rambling, gonna post this cus idk

Share ur thoughts on anything

Am looking for a medicine that could help with anything, or vitamin, please let me kno what helps u cope with ur problems,
Thank u
 
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