Wondering

If I'll ever be myself again, it really sucks,
As of right now
I'm just trying to progress in my life
I always wanted to be a police officer
But I know my mental shape as of right now
No way I can be that
I use to be fearless,
Now I always feel scared
My instincts have diminished
I know in the line of duty I would just get killed
So as of now, I'm learning to be a cook like my dad
It has kinda helped me be happier
All I want to do now is work
Get better and get more money
Money for what, idk haha
But it just sucks
There's these cute waitresses
And I know before this bull I could easily get them..
well my game wasn't that good haha
But still,
This 1 girl is bomb, and I would try anything in the world to get her
But my confidence is at a all time low
I feel as if I have no personality
U know I've been like this for 2 years and 4 months now
I'm just kinda coming to terms now..
I post on Facebook
I feel like what I say might come off as crazy or weird
Looking at my posts
They r a bit sad
But I guess that's just how I am feeling
It just sucks
Being 22, I should be living it up
But I'm struggling to be myself
And it sucks man
Just seeing these girls, like man..
these opportunities r going to waste
Enough of that
It also makes me sad
How fast time is flying
I look at old pictures
And it makes me sad
Even pictures of my old girlfriend
It makes me want to get back with her
We've been broken up cus she was gonna move out of state and I wasn't ready for that
R 4 months of being apart hasn't been crazy bad
We talk still
It just sucks
Last week
She told me she's finally gonna move out pretty soon
And it's weird like now I kinda wanna be with her..
idk
It would be fucked if I was like I wanna be with u, don't move
I don't want to stall her
But anyways
Yeah this fucking sucks
I'm just ranting
Odds no1 is gonna get this far in reading this ha
Also at my other job
1 of my co workers died
It's crazy
How u can be so young
And die
Thinking the day before u die, that ur probly gonna grow old and have a family
Not knowing
2marro is ur last day
It is crazy
I always thought
Like damn
Someone got cancer
Or someone died young
You would never expect that ud be the 1
Just kinda like this dp
Who the fuck thought this shit would happen
Growing up
U never thought ud be the one out of ur fucking mind
I guess that's just how growing up is
I talk about girls and stuff
I hope god understands that I'm just a dude man
Like please let me be back to normal so I can love life again
So I can make the correct decisions
And not feel crazy
Like for real
I post shit on Facebook
And if u just look on my page
Soon enough people r gonna be like
Yeah Mikey is probly gonna kill himself
Or he lost his fucking mind
Or he's just a dramatic cry baby bitch just wanting attention
Idk man
I think so negative
Ok these r my thoughts
Have a good night everyone
It's 3:24 am
Woo woo
God bless u all
And if u read this
Idk what I'm trying to get at
I always think
If I die I hope someone goes back and reads my shit
Or look at my photos
And be like
U know Mikey was alright
Anyways
Goodnight y'all