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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
These are three things that I really struggle with. The fall is here and having all the windows open is supposed to be lovely, but the noise from the street and the breeze gives me that weird blending-into the-environment feeling, like suddenly I'm disappearing.

I get this also when I'm video chatting and can see myself in the box. It trips me out and makes me super uncomfortable...like my brain is constantly trying to place where my body is and then I see my video reflection and I feel disoriented.

Lastly, I get this incredibly debilitating derealization where at one moment, it's as if the walls or reality is a hologram and I could walk right through the walls, the next moment it could seem like the walls are more solid than they've ever been, almost looming and creepy.

As always, my reality testing is totally fine and actually no one would even notice unless I'm in full panic mode.

Not sure my point of this post. I'm always terrified that I'm actually psychotic...yet here I am just sitting on my couch being 'normal' lol! Hope someone can relate and maybe feel better knowing you share a similar experience.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
What I mean by blending in is that I feel floaty/leaving my body kind of feeling. Like I'm not there anymore and I can't feel the chair, my arms and legs feel invisible/numb. KNOW I am here and I'm aware it's a sensation. It still freaks me out though.

I'm also aware I can't actually walk through walls. They just seem different, shimmery or like they're too flat or too 3d.

Has no one experienced this? Ugh.
 

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I definitely get the same thing you do about open windows.

I don't really video chat at all, but I'm guessing what you experience is similar to what people say here about not recognizing themselves in the mirror.

The wall issue is not something I've noticed in my own experience. Sorry.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hm, I may just not be describing things well. It's not just walls, it's everywhere, things just seem so off and odd looking that I'm questioning if they really there. Or like I've lost the meaning of it. Like I want to touch things to remind myself that they are real, even though I know they are. So sometimes when I'm in my bedroom or something the room just feels so not real, like I could walk right through the wall like a ghost. Really hope someone else knows what I mean cuz now I've got myself all freaked out.

The video chat thing I think is pretty similar to the mirror. It freaks me out to see myself in the little Skype box, especially since it's on a slight delay.
 

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Yeah, I know all too well the "maybe I'm not explaining this well". If there's one thing I think everyone on this forum can relate to, it's that feeling.

I'm not sure if I feel exactly the way you do, but to me, nothing seems real, and I also like to touch things to remind me they are real, and to have some physical sensation. I find myself much of the day just trying to get in touch with my senses. Especially smell. I find when I can smell things (like the smell of a freshly opened book or furniture or even something less than appewling), it grounds me momentarily).

I'm curious as to what about it freaks you out though. Do you really feel like you could walk through walls sometimes, or is that just a sensation you are trying to describe? Is this feeling constant or does it come off and on at different times?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It freaks me out because I have an intense fear of developing psychosis, and I get panicked worrying "this is it! It's actually happening I'm going crazy this time!"...but then nothing happens.

I know I can't walk through walls, I know it sound ridiculous, I don't mean that I think I have some kind of super power or something lol. It's more just a weird visual disturbance coupled with my body feeling floaty/numb. Like I'm seeing everything but at the same time not seeing it. Also everything is so sharpened.

It's not constant, really only when I'm very stressed out or during a panic attack. It's worse in bright sun and grocery stores, especially the freezer isle. The lights and hum of the freezers just makes me feel very out of it and panicky. It's like everything becomes flat and fake like an illusion
..then I start to not feel my body and that's when I get most scared. I try my best to just carry on and get my groceries and keep deep breathing through it and not have a full on panic attack.

Does that make sense?
 

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Dude the supermarket thing is a bit of a phenomenon in its own right. Up until very recently id feel derealised and panicky going into a store. There is something unreal about them that becomes salient when youre in dp or panic
 
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