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i dont really know what is it to feel good or how it should be. and im always state of confusion and uncertanty. then im starting to create this falseness what im starting to believe is the truth. does anyone have same problem
 

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Yep, sometimes I think I'm back to normal but I still feel so bad .. then I wonder if this is just the way it has always been. I think when we are "better" we won't question it.
 

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Don't worry...you will know when things are improving.

I think there is a fear of uncertainty here... Asking the question "how will I KNOW" brings to mind the need to be in control. Which is really common in DP. I remember going on a date and before I was asking someone "how will I KNOW if I like him" because I NEEDED the date to work out well. I couldn't understand the concept of getting to know the person. I needed the desired outcome or else why go at all? Very controlling. Poor guy :)

Not the greatest analogy, but I think there is a similar want here to know where and when this will get better, a need to control the process of recovery. And in my experience so much about recovery is letting go of control and the need to know the end game in situations.

It doesn't just get better on, say, March 11 of 2018. It's a process.
 

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It will be revealed as the beginning of the end and end of the beginning.

"I crossed over the flood without pushing forward, without staying in place." - Buddha

Basically, one day you will wake up and realize it is gone. But don't count the days, for you can't shorten them but do live within those days for you can lengthen them.
 
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