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I hate DP/DR. Its not fair what so ever to have to deal with this each and every single day. I just recently had surgery to get my appendix removed and always feared surgery, but whenever i found out i had to have it, i didnt really care that i had too because i knew deep down within, that surgery is not as scary as DP/DR is. Yet we have to deal with it EVERY SINGLE DAY AND SOMEHOW RECOVER by trying to do some kind of thing or tactic that someone else used to recover, it feels impossible to get out of this condition. I find it hard that something so fucking terrible could exist but it literally does and i find myself asking myself all the time, just why the fuck did this happen to me? Because im so intelligent i become mentally ill? It just doesnt make any sense. Always anxious and always scared about absolutely nothing is just stupid and completely uncalled for.
 
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Ya I think that thought constantly...how something this bad can exist and what did I do to deserve something this horrible to happen to me. I’m going on 7 years chronically and I cannot think of anything more painful to live with. I feel your pain.
 

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Can you expain what exactly the feeling you have when you have an epiosde? I want to know if the feeling is the same as mine. When I have it, it's like my mind is literally ouside my body and I can't retrieve it. I know nothing at all bad will happen, but in that moment, my mind is not insync with my body. Like there is two parts of me in this universe. I literally don't know where my mind is. I freeze and don't know how to talk to someone. I don't know how to take the next step in a conversation with someone. Luckily it doesn't show too much or even at all to the person I am talking to. The wires in my brain are all over the place. I think about the afterlife at that moment and where am I. I am living literally only in this second, and not one minute, hour, day, or week from now. I don't feel like I will die, but it's just like so many thoughts are running through me. It's the most hardest thing to explain to someone.

I went to Mecca last October and after that I didn't have a DP/DR attack for weeks. It felt amazing. There are weeks I go without having them, then there are days, or hours where I don't have them. Today is day 4 that I didn't have them. I hope it will continue with the streak and won't have them ever again.
 

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We expect life to be fair, for the most, and humorously dismiss the few times it isn't with "Life isn't fair, ha ha". Well, the simple fact is that life isn't fair. The sooner you recognize it, the better off you will be.

Is it fair that animals are born to be crushed by automobiles as they attempt to retrieve a snack from the median? I don't think so. Road kill on the highway of life. That's what most of us are

destined for. If you think your intelligence made you vulnerable to mental illness, maybe you are not as smart as you think? It's OK to take time out for a self pity session now and again.

Breaktime is over. Back to work.
 
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