[jc]

sorry but this has been playing on my mind all day....i shouldnt be drinking full stop i know this but like ive explained i go off the rails when im left alone...i know im a big baby ....
but we all know what its like the old sayings 'if you remember the 70's you wernt there' and people getting drunk and asking 'what the hell happened last night'
i know this happens but why do i purposely try and reach the point of total obblivion....i always seem to have to overstep the point where everything is forgotten.....i dont do it at my local pub but i seem to do it when i go into town (my guess is to cope with the agrophobia/thoughts of panic etc..)
but then i just get screwed up for about 4 days,when i say screwed up i meen i reach for obllivion again...its like this

i stay dry for a while
i feel good but get bored
i drink
i feel damn good
next day i wake and feel terrible
then i reach for the beers again to take away the hangover
and this last for about four days....and then i create so much mental anxiety by trying to put all the pieces together..

ive got a drink problem i know this...binge drinking is my problem...but how do you all cope with sobriety

jc

 

[Guest]

Hi JC,

I think many people have to be sober because they are so anxious they can't tolerate the changes in their cognitive function when using drugs or alchohol. I know that is the case for me. But then again, alot of us are on medications so that in a way is also altering our consciousness. It's a hard thing to handle no matter if you are sober or not, but I think that if you are drinking in excess it will make your problems worse in the long run. Have you tried AA or any other programs?

 

[Guest]

were your parents alcoholics?

 

[kenc127]

My guess is that its like any other type of chemical abuse. We use drugs/alcohol to provide ourselves with a better experience than the one we are having when we are sober. Too much pain, frustration and difficulty while sober leads to the temptation to get wasted because it provides us with a mental escape from all the garbage and nonsense that life force feeds us.

hang in there.

Ken

 

[jc]

thankyou for the replies
my parents wernt alcoholics but my dad did like a drink,but he never suffered from anxiety so i think thats where the difference is...i just as far back as i can remember pre-dp had to have a few drinks before i could even attempt to walk into a bar as my shyness/social phobia was so extreme...i even pre-dp i would get hammered to the point of not remembering...
the trouble now is i am still suffering from social phobia/anxiety and personally speaking its either live the life of a hermit or have a few drinks and go out and be sociable...i dont know its so tough....i agree the drink just isnt worth it but the anxiety is so damn constant...

ok heres an examlpe of the way im feeling thinking this very minute

im looking after my sisters dog and he needs to go for a walk(simple you might think)
but the way i look at it is like this

1/i can walk the dog looking at my surroundings,monitering my inneer thoughts

2/i can have a drink walk the dog and look at my surroundings and feel warm and at peace..

now dont get me wrong im not making excuses because i will not be having that drink but thats the way my thought patterns seem to work...

 

[jc]

My guess is that its like any other type of chemical abuse. We use drugs/alcohol to provide ourselves with a better experience than the one we are having when we are sober. Too much pain, frustration and difficulty while sober leads to the temptation to get wasted because it provides us with a mental escape from all the garbage and nonsense that life force feeds us.

hang in there.

Ken

this is so true ken,but the trouble is the days after,ive just lost 4 days of my life through drinking,some people can do this and not worry about it but being the anxious fool that i am it bothers me,also i dont want to be know as the local drunk (which when you live in my area isnt an easy task,considering most of the kids are either drunk or on crack) but i dont want to end up permenently wasted

 

[jc]

My guess is that its like any other type of chemical abuse. We use drugs/alcohol to provide ourselves with a better experience than the one we are having when we are sober. Too much pain, frustration and difficulty while sober leads to the temptation to get wasted because it provides us with a mental escape from all the garbage and nonsense that life force feeds us.

hang in there.

Ken

this is so true ken,but the trouble is the days after,ive just lost 4 days of my life through drinking,some people can do this and not worry about it but being the anxious fool that i am it bothers me,also i dont want to be know as the local drunk (which when you live in my area isnt an easy task,considering most of the kids are either drunk or on crack) but i dont want to end up permenently wasted

 

[jc]

My guess is that its like any other type of chemical abuse. We use drugs/alcohol to provide ourselves with a better experience than the one we are having when we are sober. Too much pain, frustration and difficulty while sober leads to the temptation to get wasted because it provides us with a mental escape from all the garbage and nonsense that life force feeds us.

hang in there.

Ken

this is so true ken,but the trouble is the days after,ive just lost 4 days of my life through drinking,some people can do this and not worry about it but being the anxious fool that i am it bothers me,also i dont want to be know as the local drunk (which when you live in my area isnt an easy task,considering most of the kids are either drunk or on crack) but i dont want to end up permenently wasted

 

[jc]

My guess is that its like any other type of chemical abuse. We use drugs/alcohol to provide ourselves with a better experience than the one we are having when we are sober. Too much pain, frustration and difficulty while sober leads to the temptation to get wasted because it provides us with a mental escape from all the garbage and nonsense that life force feeds us.

hang in there.

Ken

this is so true ken,but the trouble is the days after,ive just lost 4 days of my life through drinking,some people can do this and not worry about it but being the anxious fool that i am it bothers me,also i dont want to be know as the local drunk (which when you live in my area isnt an easy task,considering most of the kids are either drunk or on crack) but i dont want to end up permenently wasted

 

[Guest]

Hi Jc,I realise that you've often discussed your drinking.
Many have suggested that there are several reasons why a person might have a drinking problem and I do think what you have might be considered a problem because it appears to be out of your control.

I'm rather sure that one of the questions that AA requires people to ask of themselves is "how long can I go without a drink"?
It would seem from what you are saying,it's unlikely you can go longer than a week and if you do than a big bust is just around the corner.

It's very possible that you have fallen into drinking to self medicate,you wouldn't be the first.

Do you take any benzos to help with your anxiety?it would seem if you don't abuse them in the same way,it would be safer for you to take one when situations are difficult.
If you are likely to take benzos and booze,that could be a recipe for disaster.

I know how reluctant you have been to approach AA.
Is it possible to consider giving somebody a call and simply having a chat about what's been going on for you?

There is a lot of help out there for people with drinking problems.
At this point in time it might be all too confusing to figure out the whys without experienced feed back.
Honestly the best people to understand your drinking are those who have been down the same path,just as the same reason people with dp come here and not over to the fear of flying group(although some of us might do both :roll: ).

I can hear how unhappy it makes you feel going on these binges.it's been happening for some time now.
Sharing it here helps with support but perhaps it's time for some more decisive action.
At the end of the day you are the only one who can make you stop.
It might take the right network of people to help get you to that place.

All the best Shelly

 

[jc]

i seem to always go on these binges when im left on my own,i tend to start to get this constant voice in my head that says 'your going to panic' and its constant until i drink...i dont know time to grow up maybe

 

[Guest]

I dont think you need AA. There's people who drink 3 beers a night for their entire adult life as a basic.

What is the thought when you're alone trying to achieve? "Drowning" panic that may occur LATER.

Those four posts in a row look INSANE by the way.. I like it.

I think someone has re-inforced your anxiety in the past. I cant understand the fear you have to drink before going to the pub?
I dont want to ask this, but is there a component within you that you are trying to protect? Because everyone does that, I guess.

I think you have very high sensations of being EXPOSED (Like with walking your sisters dog), I think everyone on planet earth feels exposed at certain times, but that dog walking isn't one of them. But the comparison is there.

You're afraid of feeling exposed in others' presence. And.. truthfully this is EVERYONE'S fear, it's a mindtrick to avoid it.

You're "drowning" yourself from exposure feelings, although I cant figure out why they're so bad. You seem to get them even worse when alone because you have time to "THINK". You're too sensitive

 

[jc]

some very valid points...and i have completely no idea why that was posted four times lol...
true again sensitivy is a major problem,and the booze numbs that....

so why do i drink

it gives me confidence
it gives me a sense of wellbeing
it stops my anxiety (temporily)

but it takes alot away as well

it takes away my money
it takes away any order i have in my life
it takes away any sense of wellbeing (the day after)

 

[Guest]

I used to be able to drink socially.It sometimes made a huge difference,it gave me "dutch courage".

Since I can no longer drink,certain social environments are a totally different ball game.
Sometimes I feel shy,anxious and so uncomfortable I don't enjoy myself,in fact I can't wait to leave.
I have to be dragged to some places kicking and screaming because I feel so self conscious.

It's only in some situations,its a bit complex.

I'm trying to work on it,with CBT(my own version).For me it's not so much about panic attacks,although I've been there too.

Best Shelly