[Guest]

I see a psychiatrist and he is psychanalyst. I recently talked about things I never talked before, and now I feel very nude, and I feel depressed, more dp/dr. I thought I was feeling better, I feel worse, even if what he sais makes sense, I don't want to change!!!! I want to turn back time, I don't want to talk of me this way, and I have trouble to think that unconscious things led me to this dp/dr not myself not there feeling right after my anesthesia. I have much trouble to think so, and now I feel so bad that I want to forget all that and stone myself, to forget.

Jaine, can you PM me?

Cynthia xxx

 

[Guest]

I will PM you (been very busy, not ignoring you) but I want to answer here, too.

That kind of indepth work CAN make a person feel worse (but it's temporary) and the thing to remember is this: change hurts. Change is terrifying and sometimes, when we have lived keeping all our inner thoughts and fantasies SECRET from EVERYONE then the experience of talking about them is going to feel traumatic.

HOwever, if it wasn't necessary, you wouldnt' have had the breakdown in the first place.

Think of someone frozen. When the body starts to thaw out, it HURTS. Sometimes it hurts much more than staying frozen, but that option will eventually kill you because parts of your body will start dying off, one by one.

Psychologically, the process is similar. Parts of the "self" die off, or become very ill...and once we start Unthawing them, talking about things, bringing our INNER most life and thoughts into the light of day, it's the sun blaring down on frozen flesh. It warms and it hurts.

Stay with it. It's not easy, not at all. But look at the alternative. And I can promise you that the other side of all this is just plain wonderful.

Love,
your friend,
Janine

 

[CECIL]

I'm going through a similar thing right now. I picture it as a wound that's sealed over but still festering under the flesh. You're now opening the wound which is going to hurt and sort of let out all of the negative feelings associated with it.

But you have to open it to heal.

 

[delicateshadow]

Think of someone frozen. When the body starts to thaw out, it HURTS. Sometimes it hurts much more than staying frozen, but that option will eventually kill you because parts of your body will start dying off, one by one.

Psychologically, the process is similar. Parts of the "self" die off, or become very ill...and once we start Unthawing them, talking about things, bringing our INNER most life and thoughts into the light of day, it's the sun blaring down on frozen flesh. It warms and it hurts.

absolutely....this describes my current process so clearly....I am in 3x a week analytic based therapy, and how you describe it above, Janine, is similar to the way my therapist (who has trainings in body psychotherapy and biodynamic psychotherapy) describes how my process is.

Reading this makes me feel 100% validated and was one of the reasons that led me to register here.

I KNOW I've regurgitated an old post, bu, um isn't that kind of symbolic for the recovery process????

Katie

 

[person3]

so how far along are you in recovery then?

and is the 3X a week thing affordable?

 

[delicateshadow]

not sure how far along... (is it measurable?)

am becoming conscious of the feelings I'd dissociated from back from in my childhood.
am feeling the feelings and expressing them and crying and feeling them...

affordable?
well, my parents pay about half, they are generous financially, albeit that they were unable to provide enough of the right kind of emotional nurturance as I was 'growing up'.....

 

[Guest]

I KNOW I've regurgitated an old post, bu, um isn't that kind of symbolic for the recovery process????

Katie

LOL....yep, you got it, my dear, lol. Very good!

I can validate that kind of "defrosting" experience anytime you like. It was crucial for me. I entered analytic treatment just convinced I already knew myself inside and out. SO wrong, lol. And not only wrong, but so tightly defended against any surprises, especially if they involved how I saw myself.

We have to hurt to unthaw, but it is not indicative of a lifetime of pain at all. I am capable of being truly happy these days - but maybe even more valuable, I'm capable of feeling bad, sad or mad and not being afraid of my own ability to survive it.

Hang in there, keep talking. There is nothing so horrific to discover, just lots of armor to move to get to it.

Love your screen name by the way.

Janine

 

[delicateshadow]

er, am kind of oral and anal all at once..... :lol:

I once had (in 1996)a dream of a knight killing me with a lance in my back-> heart, and an angel brought me back to life.... :idea: :idea: :idea:

*goes very Jungian and wonders about Inner Angel*

I am so glad I found this place

Katie

 

[person3]

am becoming conscious of the feelings I'd dissociated from back from in my childhood.
am feeling the feelings and expressing them and crying and feeling them...

that sounds like a hell lot of progress to me! cool.

I really want to try this kind of therapy, but there are two problems:

1) No qualified analyst is in Tulsa, so I would likely have to find a way to stay out here in New Mexico unless I want to live in St Louis

2) I've seen 3 female counselors, I would like to try a male analyst but the only one in SF that is part of the APA is a female.

3) I know my dad will have a whole hissy fit about how psychoanalysis is obsolete and try to talk me out of it and I don't know how to talk him INTO it.

4) The other option would be to visit an analyst 2 hours away from my hometown, but that would be 12 extra hours of driving every week (600 miles) if I were to do 3 sessions, and depending on what kind of schedule I am going to have that could likely not be possible at all. I was considering going to a college near that city anyway, but I can't even apply for the fall semester, it's too late.

all that aside, I can't even start the therapy for a few weeks or start making plans because i've got a camp counselor position to fulfill...

agh. don't know.

 

[Monkeydust]

What ever happened to Karine, anyway?

 

[Sojourner]

Oklahoma City too far?

Patricia A. Mcknight, M.D.
Contact information for this APsaA member is below.
Fax: (405) 843-1130
E-Mail: [email protected]

 

[Sojourner]

http://www.apsa.org/links.htm
http://www.metta.org.uk/therap/psyc/psychoanalysis.asp
http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap7/
http://freudfile.org/psychoanalysis/resources.html
http://www.psychoanalysis.org.uk/newlibr2.htm
http://eseries.ipa.org.uk/prev/news-north.htm