[peacedove]

Hey everyone. It's been a few years since I've been on.

My depersonalization started when I was about six years old and thinking about God and infinity in the car on the way home from my Aunt's house.

It got worse over the years. I find it really strange that the rest of the world isn't terrified by existence, infinity, God, etc. It's like "normal people" were born with some kind of coping mechanism to deal with this. Or, I used to wonder if those of us with this had some kind of awareness others don't have...

Either way, I'm embarrassed to say how many years I've been dealing with this. I'm now extremely agoraphobic and just want to know how to make this go away. And the acceptance crap doesn't work.. Or I am somehow doing it wrong.

Zoloft helps my anxiety. Xanax/Klonopin help with my panic attacks. But the depersonalization is always lingering except maybe sometimes when I'm drunk.

I was debating whether or not to check into a mental hospital November/December. Things got so bad. Things are still bad, but at least I'm not fighting the urge to just take off running. Fight or flight for sure.. And it's exhausting..

 

[Al_pk]

Yes, healthy people do have coping mechanisms. The nature of the relaxed brain is to consider something then move on to something else. It's a mis assumption to think healthy people don't think of this stuff because they do. I certainly did when I was well. But you also don't overthink, and thoughts don't stick to the brain like glue.

It is like I have a major problem with time. And everyone I've spoken too about it knows exactly what I mean.. time is wierd. But for them, it's just a conclusion of "well, it just works". For me, it's an all consuming 24/7 thought process, cos my brain is weak.

The way out of the mind is to create the conditions that will allow your brain to recover. This means getting on with your day as best you can. Eliminate stimulants from your diet, avoid stress, get 8 hours sleep. I was agoraphobic too, so i forced myself out. Now I'm fine. It's a balancing act between getting on with your life to show the brain it is not in danger, taking your symptoms with a pinch of salt, and rest to allow for essential recovery

 

[peacedove]

When you forced yourself out did you have panic attacks? I enrolled in a class that started last Monday night. I didn't go. I'm supposed to go tomorrow night. I'm terrified. It's only 13 miles. I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and end up in the hospital. I get panic attacks so bad that my fingers and hands start going numb (because of hyperventilation I'm told). This happened just sitting at home two months ago and now I'm going to go drive an unfamiliar route to go sit in a class full of people. I wanted to go practice the drive and see where the classroom is but I couldn't even bring myself to do that...

 

[Al_pk]

Yes I had panic attacks. Going down my local high street I felt as if I was going to fall into some kind of void. Like you I also spent a lot of time worrying that this all was guna make me have another mental breakdown but I didn't have another one.

The more you stay in and give into the fear, the more you will just seize up. Go to your class. Just allow things to flow, do what you have to do then come back home to your safety zone.

Panic attacks are an awful symptom to overcome, but they're harmless. Just adrenaline letting off steam. There is no need to go to the hospital for a panic attack - they cannot do anything for you.

The more you give in to the fear, the more you will seize up, and life will become more difficult

 

[PerfectFifth]

God? I'm not terrified by that for the same reason I'm not terrified of ghosts.

 

[Al_pk]

Some of us have spirituality PerfectFifth. It's just the way it is.

 

[PerfectFifth]

Some of us have spirituality PerfectFifth. It's just the way it is.

That's fine.

It got worse over the years. I find it really strange that the rest of the world isn't terrified by existence, infinity, God, etc. It's like "normal people" were born with some kind of coping mechanism to deal with this. Or, I used to wonder if those of us with this had some kind of awareness others don't have...

I'll add that having DP/DR symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you're afraid of or stress over existential stuff, and someone "normal" (or non-DP/DR sufferer) may just as well worry about those things too.