I don't know what's stopping me from recovering, I don't know what I need nor if it's possible for everybody to heal, but for sure I keep trying. One problem I believe is important for me is that I am almost always trying to use intellect,intellectual effort and or ego to try to solve problems. Even when I acknowledge that my overusing intellect is a problem, all the solutions that come to mind turn into something intellectual. And then I go in a loop of thinking "maybe this/that is the solution, I am going to push this method to the maximum, I am going to master it, I am going to be the best at this, I am going to be the opposite of DPDR forever, let's find exercises that I can start doing right now and I will do them all the time and I am going to become the best at recovering, I am going to write a book about this". These are usually he kinds of thoughts I get in just a few seconds after finding something I can try, and I am just slightly exagerating. Usually it stops when I push this too far and I get fed up with my own mind. But after a while it starts again. But it's not because I feel like this comes from me (as opposed to an intrusive thought) that I know I must be able to have control over it. A lot of these techniques I find do seem to help me, but I prefer to just relax and be and enjoy that moment when I get fed up and it gets quiet for a while. None of all this has a tremendous effect on my DPDR though, just a little.