You shouldn't stay alive because "you have a family."
Not because "the people around you care about you"
Or because "Pain is temporary". For many of us, DPDR is a lifelong ailment.
There came a point where I took it as a game. I was given this hand in life, and how cool would it be if I could switch it around?
What if there is a cure?
And I don't mean "just ignore it, it'll go away lol" That's bullshit. It doesn't go away, and those people are lying to themselves.
I wanted to find the real answers.
If i drink liquor, I'll get drunk.
If i smoke weed, i'll get high.
I realized that there was always a physical component.
So how is DPDR any different? Or anxiety, Or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia even?
Why do we treat these symptoms as invisible diseases instead of looking for what might be happening in the body that is causing them?
They aren't any different. There's something we don't know.
My reason for staying alive was to find the answers. And now that i've found them, my reason for staying alive is just to live a good life. Enjoy shit that i couldn't enjoy before. Meet people, have experiences, raise my son.
The human experience has so much to offer when your illness isnt getting in the way.
This should be your goal too. To live a good life, whatever that means to YOU.
And I don't mean the trendy fad detox you see floating around the web. I mean real cellular detoxification and cleansing of your organs, blood and brain.
It's hard, it's painful, takes a lot of effort, but in my opinion it's the only true route back to health.
Not pills, not therapy, not self help. Those things have a time and place, but if you're suffering, it's not what you need.
The reason why we require detoxification is too long to express here. In short:
Our food supply is toxic
Our water supply is toxic
There are toxic chemicals in our hygiene products
Our air is contaminated by power plants
Our soil is depleted of nutrients.
Here's what i've learned over the last 2 years from world renown Dr Dietrich Klinghardt, who is famous for his work in healing autism in children and various illnesses which are thought not to have a cure.
Get tested for heavy metals. Heavy metals like mercury, aluminum, nickel, etc. are neurotoxins and cause neurological and psychological disorders.
Heal your gut. 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut. If you have any form of psychological disorder, your gut is impaired. This means cutting out food that ruin your gut health, taking supplements that heal the gut, taking quality probiotics, enzymes, etc. This alone will bring you back to "life".
Mineral deficiency causes psychological symptoms. Eat high nutrient dense foods.
Get tested for parasites. Yes, I said parasites. They are very real, and very scary. I've released hundreds of them. No, I haven't been to a foreign country. And No, I havent eaten any weird food(except a standard american diet) and yet, I've released tapeworms, roundworms, hookworms, pinworms, and more. These creatures thrive in a toxic body.
Remove heavy metals. Detox from chemicals. Detox parasites. Change your diet. Change your habits.
I didn't kill myself because I was scared, but also angry. I didn't deserve what happened to me. I didn't understand what happened to me. What happened to me simply was not fair. Anger is a great motivator. I used my anger to fight the injustice of my illness. My suffering was great, but I'm a great sufferer. Because my primary illness is recurrent major depression, I would have a main event about every 8 years. You would think one would get used to it, but that is simply not the case. Every bout was an epic struggle for survival. At age 57, I discovered the reason for my illness. I had a powerful temporal lobe seizure at age 17. I remember having about 30 shocks (epileptic discharges) that fried my temporal lobe. Research papers said I was suffering from a rare epileptic syndrome and I was a worse case scenario. My "post ictal psychosis" had segued into an affective disorder of recurrent major depression." Diagnostics confirmed my EEG showed significant pathology in my temporal lobe. So, at age 57, I was able to understand the 40 years of life since age 17. Now I look back and think....I could have killed myself at age 17 and saved myself a lot of suffering. What difference would it have made? I could forgive myself if I had made that choice.
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