[bat]

why are people on this board so worried about developing schizophrenia?
i mean if you're in another place and not aware of it (my take on sch) surely thats so much better than the horror of dp. i read a post by john59 a few days ago about basically what i see as full on dp (it had a different name) and i suppose at my worst i was delusional(if that means knowing that i'm dead and not being able to escape the horror). seriously i know that nothing can be as terrible. i'm not overly odsessive or self monitoring but when in full on dp there is no space for that anyway, existing is unbearable.

 

[Monkeydust]

I can't speak for everyone else, but for me schizophrenia just represents the end, the point of no return.

If I just remain the neurotic mess that I am then, whatever else happens, I can recover, and I believe that I will some day, even if it means that I have to invest in a large amount of therapy like Janine did. As long as there's some light at the end of the tunnel, however faint, I'm willing to bear this, for now.

Schizophrenia, on the other hand, is a whole different ball-game. The prosepcts for full recovery are slim. If that's what I've got then "that's it", my life's over as far as I'm concerned and I might as well just throw in the towel. Perhaps it's a variation of the "fear of death" that many people have.

I'm scared of developing it because, in some ways, my symptoms might be consistent with an early development of it. Even though I've not got (at least I don't think I've got) any worse after nearly 5 months with all of this.

And I'm pretty sure that a large number of schizophrenics are very much aware of their feelings, even if they don't have insight to perceive what is causing them or that they are irrational. A schizophrenic might lack insight into what, if anything, is wrong with them - but they'd still feel the paranoia, still experience the delusions and hallucinations and still have to live in what is effectively a permanent nightmare.

I don't think that's better than DP in the least; I'd much rather stick wth DP, for now.

 

[Guest]

im afraid because my uncle is a paranoid schizophrenic and its in my genes, i dunno why everyone else is afraid

 

[jft]

I think folks do themselves alot damage by fearing that they will go schizo. Help me out if I am wrong, but the way I understand it is you will not go schizo unless you have an organic brain disorder that says you will. Dp/dr will not get you there. You are not going to go there unless you were going there anyway. Dp/dr and schizo is like apples and oranges, they are different beasts.

I think we all fear it at one point or another becasue it "feels" like we could go there, that our minds feel weak, that our personalities feel fragile when symptomaatic. But in "reality" we are always intact, only symptomatic.

I feared schizo for years until I realized all this. Do yourselves a favor and worry about a terrorist attack instead. It is much more likely to happen.
jftmn

 

[Guest]

The reasons we fear it really has nothing to do with the actual disorder of schizophrenia.

We, dp and obsessive types, tend to IMAGINE schizophrenia in a particular way - in our fantasies (or delusions) it comes to represent one of our deepest fears - that of self-annihilation and/or being lost eternally in a nightmare.

We imagine a total loss of control and a free-floating, ungrounded Self that flies through time and space in chaotic horror.

The way we imagine insanity is a symbol for our own (NON-psychotic) fears and phobias. We feel like we're willing ourselves to stay sane, and that any minute now we will let go - and somehow "fall" into some mental abyss of total isolation and inability to communicate - as if we're continually experiencing a nightmare of abject terror and confusion over and over and over - forever.

That is NOT schizophrenia, but it's the particular phobia we have - and we often believe that this terrifying "state" is what madness must be.

 

[Monkeydust]

I'd dispute the the likelihood of terrorist attacks, but that's another issue altogether, I suppose.

I wouldn't say the fear is that DP will somehow "lead to" or cause schizophrenia, but rather that the DP is a symptom of schizophrenia on its way.

You do have a point, though. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen - and there's nothing you can do about it. So it makes sense to act "as if" it's not a possibility, because if you're not going to develop the disorder then worryiong is pointless and, in fact, counterproductive.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

schizo is a totally different ballgame. one nobody wants to play, and if you have it then NOBODY wants to play with you. its a lonely sport, and its doesnt help when youre pushing everyone away. i dunno about anyone else.. but the last thing i want is to be sitting on a sidewalk festering in my own excrement having an argument with my pet vodka bottle over how many pickles i have in my butt. i dont want to enjoy the flavor of my own boogers nor do i want everyone to look down on me and go 'tut tut tut what a damn shame.'

 

[Guest]

Well here we go.....
I have schizo effective disorder. Not quiet the same as schizophrenia but shares many of the same traits.
I can assure you all that I dont have a pet vodka bottle, or think that im jesus or anything like that.
At its worst its psychotic episodes that result in some crazy actions, deluded talking, extreme paranoia, awfull depression that makes you completely isolate whilest you think slide further in and become convinced your brain is trying to kill you.
If you dont recieve help and one of the above points yes you can lose any grip on reality but for myself at least its not a permanent thing.

I take zyprexa for this disorder and it allows me to live allmost symptom free , at least from the most devestating effects.

So even if you did get a dx of one of the psychotic disorders it doesnt allways mean its the end of the world as you know it.

 

[Guest]

Schizophrenia isn't actually scary. The irony of all of this is the only thing that is scary is the fear of schizophrenia. I was in at the Psych ER a few weeks ago and they brought in a few total nutcases from the street. These people weren't even living on planet earth. Thing is, these people didn't looked scared, terrified, depressed. Instead, they looked like they were ready to preach to the world that they were the second coming of Moses. Fear was the farthest thing from these people's minds. I don't think fear existed on the planet these people were living on. From the outside looking in, it's scary. From the inside, it's a world of no awareness of anything, not even your delusions of being a space alien from the planet boobooshka. The sad thing is that nothing will work to ease your fears. You will have to let it go naturally. It has for me and I would welcome schizophrenia any day of the week. I think it would be cool to believe that I was the reincarnated version of David Kooresh.

 

[Guest]

I should add that when first diagnosed I was in a bad way. spent a lot of time on a psych ward convinced that walls where getting closer and closer, that staff where out to trick and poison me. (that may not of been completely delusional seeing as how much time I spent under sedation)

I also dont hear voices as seperate beings from myself. hmmm how to explain here....
I am aware of a different 'me' when she comes out to 'play' she is all powerfull ,she fully controls my actions and forces me to do things willingly the more sane me would never consider. The scariest part is being aware of this decline into the bad me gaining control whilest the sane me is still making feeble protests to see her of.
Once I stop fighting it and just exept its going to be that way I loose that awareness.

k, now I sound like a complete freak huh?
But I manage most of the time to run a home, raise my son who is intelligent, secure and well adjusted. I work for a charity running support for other suffers of mental illness and in september am about to start on a course in higher education. I also write poetry and have a fair bit published.

So yes my life will most likely allways follow a slightly different path to mosts, but in no way is it over and most people arent scared of me lol and often I appear more sane than 'normal' people.

 

[Martinelv]

I think it's poignant to reflect on the fact that you very rarely hear people saying that they are haunted by fears of being depressed, or developing manic depression, or bi-polar disorder or whatever. It's always Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia, Schizophrenia, Schizophrenia. Why ? Because as Janine said, nowadays the word 'Schizophrenia' encapsulates the worst possible outcome of our fears. In medieval times it might have been possession, or the incubus. And it's not suprising really, the fear of Schizophrenia, due to the fact that DP/DR is a psychiatric disorder that makes us see the world 'differently'.

As other posters have said, the reality of Schizophrenia is very different from what non-sufferers imagine, or could possibly imagine. The usual suspects are either 'losing control' or hallucinations. There is a wide spectrum of Schizophrenic disorders, with some that involve 'simple' emotional blunting, to what we would imagine as classic Schizophrenia - someone running down the street, covered in their own faeces, howling at the moon.

I would dispute the fact that Schizophrenia is a pleasant experience. It's not a case of 'ignorance is bliss' at all. Most of the time they are living in a bewildering world of terror, paranoia, loss of thought control, delusions....not nice at all. Sometimes the emotional blunting can cause them to appear like zombies, passive, but that's rarely the case.

One type of Schizophrenia, however, Parasphrenia, or 'late onset Schizophrenia', can sometimes be puzzlingly pleasant. Cases like, for instance, of an 80 year old women who, every evening, hallucinates the figure of her long dead husband. Apart from these nightly visits, which she finds very enjoyable, and comforting, her Parasphrenic symptoms are negligable. I find that odd. Why is Schizophrenia is youth so usually morbidly terrible ?