[flowingly]

Sometimes I feel that I am special in some way to see the world I like do. Like I know a secret others aren't even aware of that they don't know.

Other times I feel as if everyone else knows some huge secret, and I don't. And I desperately want to know it, so I can experience it.

I debate with myself if it is me who is missing out on something in life, or if it's everyone else.

 

[flowingly]

i guess it's just me.

 

[moonDust]

no, it's not only you.

though i don't feel i know any special secret, only the secret that i have DP.

 

[Crumbles]

i guess it's just me.

No, it's not just you. Let me tell you a little story I found pretty amazing.

One day I was sitting at my friends house playing Mario Kart on the super nintendo. We used to love to play that game drunk. Anyway, I vividly remember this. I remember it so well, I actually remember what game we were playing and everything. Mind you, this was about 8 years ago.

Anyway, something out of no where just hit me. It was like this epiphanny to some problem that I didn't even know was a problem. It was the strangest feeling I have ever had in my life. I tried to explain it to my friend the best I could, and I even gave it a name and called it "knowing." From that spawned, there are two types of people in this world. People who "know" and people who "don't know." Once you know, you can easily spot the people who don't. I know it sounds really bizzare. To make it even more weird, You know you know something, but you just can't explain what it is.

So years and years go by, and I don't think about it that much anymore. I even start to think: "Man, was I just a high idiot thinking about this? Did I just make all this up?" And then it happened...

I met this guy in college who is now a great friend of mine. Probably my only true friend. Anyway, he used to work 3rd shift at a BP (gas station) I was in there on my cell phone, talking to my other friend about knowing for some random reason. My friend who worked in the BP only heard my part of the conversation, and heard me say: "Nah dude, he won't know what I'm talking about." I hung up the cell phone, and of course he was curious on what HE wouldn't know. So I start to explain, but I start with: "OK, you're probably going to think I'm an idiot and this is totally stupid, but... there is this thing that some people..." and he finished my sentence and said: "You're talking about knowing? How some people know, and others don't? And you can't explain what you know but you know you know?" My fucking jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. He even came up with the same label for it I had. I remember almost crying at that point, because there is NO WAY that could have been a coincedence. This convinced me that there is something weird that happens to some people.

Anyway, enough of my rambles ...

 

[Crumbles]

I'd like to add one more thing. I have since (withing a few months maybe?) talked to my college friend about knowing. We have had few conversations about it, but they are always very interesting. Anyway, just from talking to him about it, I feel like he has a better grasp of it than I do. And I now feel like my other friend (from years ago) has a less grasp of it than I. Almost like there are levels of it or something ...

 

[flowingly]

Crumbles,

Aha, good word for it - KNOWING. I've never met someone who knew the things I did. I think I would be more at peace if I did...if I had someone who knew whom I could talk to. It's like trying to explain COLORS to people who have been blind and couldn't see their entire lives.

 

[Scattered]

Too much weed. I had similar experiences while high. I'm sure its common to stoners to feel as if some great cosmic truth is being imparted to them yet not really knowing specifically what it is.

Anyway, I'll play along and say that sometimes DP does seem like a form of "knowing." Knowing that the world may not be what it seems and that there may be something beyond the surface. I'm not sure how healthy it is for us to follow up on this type of thinking. I tend to ignore it.

 

[flowingly]

Too much weed.

I don't smoke weed, or do any other drugs, though.

 

[Scattered]

Ah, but I was referring to crumble's specific form of "knowing" which I believe to be different from yours.

 

[Crumbles]

Ah, but I was referring to crumble's specific form of "knowing" which I believe to be different from yours.

Yes, I was trying to figure out if she was talking about the same thing or not. And as for your "too much weed" comment, that's what I was starting to think for the longest time. I was like: "Man, I was just a high idiot." But then out of no where my friend (who I've never talked to before about it) brought it up! That's what made it so amazing to me. However, he smoked weed too.

lol, who knows...

 

[sebastian]

I met this guy in college who is now a great friend of mine. Probably my only true friend. Anyway, he used to work 3rd shift at a BP (gas station) I was in there on my cell phone, talking to my other friend about knowing for some random reason. My friend who worked in the BP only heard my part of the conversation, and heard me say: "Nah dude, he won't know what I'm talking about." I hung up the cell phone, and of course he was curious on what HE wouldn't know. So I start to explain, but I start with: "OK, you're probably going to think I'm an idiot and this is totally stupid, but... there is this thing that some people..." and he finished my sentence and said: "You're talking about knowing? How some people know, and others don't? And you can't explain what you know but you know you know?" My f--- jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. He even came up with the same label for it I had. I remember almost crying at that point, because there is NO WAY that could have been a coincedence. This convinced me that there is something weird that happens to some people.

Anyway, enough of my rambles ...

That's really interesting. I've had somewhat similar things happen to me. I remember this one girl at a bank i went to. It was years ago but i still remember it. I went up to her and i started saying something banal like, "I want to make a withdrawl" and the two of us looked at each other for what seemed like ages and then started bursting out laughing. And I mean hysterically laughing. We couldn't even complete the transaction. Another worker had to take over for her and i finally calmed down when she retreated to the back to compose herself. I thought, "Wow. We're really in the same karass." It was like we both simultaneously connected and "knew" the absurdity of it all.

Ahhh, Mario Kart. What a great game. I used to play that for hours until the colours in it made me feel like i was going to have seizures.

s.

 

[agentcooper]

i have been trying to be more open to people about having dp/dr and it is amazing how many people say "wow, that's so cool"...like i'm part of some exclusive and wonderful club. it's pretty strange to hear that coming from people who have never felt anything close to dp/dr. i'll tell you the truth, though, sometimes it does make me feel like i'm in an exclusive club. whenever i meet someone who also has dp/dr, i feel an instant connection with them....it's too bad the membership fees at the depersonalization club are so high, eh?