[livinginhell333]

my whole body is numb, i seriously cannot feel any of it, including hands, fingers, face, head. i'm kinda beginning to think this is more than just dp. anyone else have whole body numbness and can't feel their body at all. it really makes me feel like a ghost. when i lay in bed i don't feel my head against the pillow.

 

[shadowness]

i get this a lot...even typing now i do not feel like i am hitting the keys...does not even seem like the keys are there either!!!

most frightening for me is when my face feels totally numb and my hands too...

i get a lot of whole body numbness and skin burning.

 

[livinginhell333]

i don't get skin burning. i have this whole body numbness all the time though and it doesn't go away. i really feel like i don't exist, and that my mind is blank. i just think everything isn't real and i don't anaylze objects, people or events anymore because i really feel like i'm not here. it feels like my soul has died. nothing has any emotional impact on me whatsoever and i just want to find an answer. life sucks.

 

[shadowness]

i really do know what you mean...

i just feel like a numb body and nothing more...

i feel completely out of touch with my personality...and the things that make me who i am as a person...

i feel like i have lost something...

 

[enigma]

Is the skin burning sensation a sort of hot, prickly, 'pins and needles' kind of sensation?

I experience surges of this whenever I feel seriously panicked over something.

e

 

[shadowness]

Is the skin burning sensation a sort of hot, prickly, 'pins and needles' kind of sensation?

I experience surges of this whenever I feel seriously panicked over something.

e

it does not feel hot...more of a prickly pins and needles feeling but is not pins and needles...

i feel it a lot of the time...

 

[bat]

i don't get whole body numbness but skin burning accompanies dp periods with me, particularly the back of my neck and back. i used to get it alot when over doing it with my general drug abuse. again when in my initial chronic dp state. also when starting ssris i get it badly along with all the other side effects. when i was badly dped i couldn't bear water to touch my skin but in more recent times i have found that the burning accompanies the start of a dp episode(i mean within hours so don't panic) and i use a cloth soaked in cold water on the back of my neck, back and face. my mum got me a cold pack to help last summer when i was suffering pretty badly but frozen peas in a towel works fine

 

[Dreamer]

I can ID with this as well, but this "numbness" occurred more when I was a teenager. It was awful going to bed as I literally couldn't tell the difference between the bedding and my skin. I also had times where a shower or bath was nearly unbearable as I felt "part of the water" .. and I should say "AS IF" I were part of the water.

Also, the burning. This again leads me to believe this is clearly medical as I've heard this too many times. It has happened to me a few times... when I've been very physically ill. But this was not a fever. The DP came over me so intensely, I was about .0000005% "here", with about that much consciousness. I felt as though I were sitting in front of a bonfire that was so intense it was burning my face.

The feeling I had, was of sheer unmitigated terror. I may as well have run into the Devil himself in a dark alley.

Let me tell you, the severity of all of these symptoms has lessened GREATLY over time with me. And meds, and therapy. I do not have all of these whacky symptoms I had as a teenager.

I believe if I had, had more supportive, understanding help when I was younger and some form of CBT and talk therapy and perhaps an anti-anxiety med, this would not have snowballed as it had.

Sorry, you feel so awful. Just know many here understand. It's why I love this board.

Take Care,
D

 

[Guest]

Dreamer wrote:

It was awful going to bed as I literally couldn't tell the difference between the bedding and my skin. I also had times where a shower or bath was nearly unbearable as I felt "part of the water" .. and I should say "AS IF" I were part of the water.

That was the worst of this nightmare for me. I remember sitting in an armchair, and I couldn't tell where my arms stopped and the chair arm started....I could FEEL my own limbs, but only as they touched the upholstery and then suddenly it was like I could NOT feel them, but could somehow feel the chair only...then as if I was the chair, as if there were NO boundaries between me and anything.

That was a key for me - no boundaries. It was also a central issue/concept in my psychological makeup.

My body/mind never felt contained inside itself - as if should the wind blow the wrong way, my entire self would scatter into other objects...would disintegrate into whatever it was touching. I swear, to this day, I could literally FEEL that happening.

I used to think I was dead, and experiencing the dissolution of the corpse into the earth...as if I was feeling myself blend into the rest of reality, but losing all sense of of distinguished self forever.

Abject terror. And yes, the Devil in the alley. Abject terror.

I don't think anyone who has not felt this can imagine.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Axel19]

I have felt something similar to what Janine described. I have felt a total disconnection between me being and my visual surroundings, as if there is no relationship whstsoever. I remember staring at a church tower, and it seeming to makes as much sense to say that it was me, as at did to say my body was me.
At times I felt sort of encarcerated within my visual surroundings, as if there was no real gap between me and other objects, as if I was drowning
in the world or something.

Horrible, horrible, horrible stuff. But thankfully that sort of stuff is behind me, and I'm mostly bothered by deep ruminations.

 

[Guest]

Hello all, it's my first post and I'm not native with english, so I apologize for any inconvenience...

A loss of one's physical self seems to be a key factor in most cases of DP, as it is/was with mine. I feel it had a lot to do with my inability to see myself as an active subject in this macabre dance. It has taken me a lot of time and conscious effort to convince myself that it's the only way to ever find any relevance in anything. While it has more or less made me feel better, I've had difficulties avoiding the feelings of being THE subject. Those solipsistic ideas also seem to be pretty common among us...

Well, this turned out a bit off-topicky, but it's a start. Thank you all for a great forum!

 

[Axel19]

Hello all, it's my first post and I'm not native with english, so I apologize for any inconvenience...

You're just fishing for compliments there. Can't you tell that you speak Enlish better than most who have English as their mother tongue.

 

[livinginhell333]

i do feel like i have disinegrated in this earth. the worst thing is when i hug my mom and i don't feel the physical body connection or i don't feel a kiss....thats what makes me feel like a ghost and i really wish this symptom would go away the most so i can enjoy a hug.

also when i'm in the shower i don't feel the water pressure actually hitting my body. i feel the warmth of it a little, but it doesn't make me feel good or comfortable or anything like that. its tough. and espiacially when i'm sleeping it just feels like.

my doc pretty much diagnosed me with depersonalization disorder with some psychotic symptoms, but she's leaning towards more the dp. she actually thinks the meds are making it worse and is eventually going to stop it with some careful watching me. and i'm going to do an outpatient program where i talk to various therapists and group therapy and talk to people with similiar things, so maybe just talking about it will help me. she also thinks the emotion part is cuz of the medicines, she said i should get my emotions back. i sure hope so. this whole thing is just complete utter hell. the thing i hate the most is not feeling my body, and losing sense of touch, taste, and smell....if i get those back i will be ok.

 

[Guest]

Hello all, it's my first post and I'm not native with english, so I apologize for any inconvenience...

You're just fishing for compliments there. Can't you tell that you speak Enlish better than most who have English as their mother tongue.

Who, me? Umm, well, maybe just a bit... :roll:

Still, I seldom write anything in English so I honestly don't know if I make sense or not. Plus I'm a sort of a perfectionist, which has loads to do with my DP.

But, back to those sensations of numbness(!?) and other somatic or such symptoms. I've been more or less, usually less, numb for the past year or so. Haven't really had the symptoms appear in such hellish proportions, but can totally sympathize with what you're going through. Crawling even deeper in to that deep dark hole in my brain really doesn't help, so I've tried to interact with my enviroment, do stuff, even when it has felt totally in vain or scary or both. I firmly believe that we define ourselves through interaction, not introspection. That's a sort of a truism, I know, but realizing (and realizing) it has made things a lot clearer for me.

My most terrifying somatic episodes have in fact had more to do with hypersensitivity than numbness. F. ex. there have been times when it seemed like I've become aware of every single sensory nerve in my body simultaneously. I see a strong analogue between such feelings and thoughts of being crushed under the sheer responsibility that follows being alive. Now that's a great way to make oneself's life hard: thinking of everything, almost even every single breath or blink, as a precious jewel forever lost in time and life, being consisted of "merely" such instants lined one after another, being lost bit by bit with every passing moment. Not to mention the cosmological and stronger metaphysical aspects of human being, being human. A finnish poet grasp this aspect beautifully: "At the moment of death, life lived is worth no more than a dream." (roughly translated) Not a good thought to build your "life" on.

Emmm, I think I'll need to stop writing before I really lose track of what in (and of) the world I'm prattling about... :?

 

[livinginhell333]

today i was at work and i realized that i didn't exist really, its the most lonely feeling in the world and a friend of mine was like whats wrong, i told him, but he kinda didn't believe me and he tried giving me a big bear hug but i didn't feel it. i hope i get out of this feeling of just feeling not here relatively soon. like i'm praying. i don't really know why i have to go through something like this. i don't know whats worse not feeling my body or not having emotion, both make me feel humanless.

 

[Ezio]

Im suffering from this symptom and im feeling with you thats one of my worst symptoms ever its almost like my body sensitisation is very low