Hello all, it's my first post and I'm not native with english, so I apologize for any inconvenience...
You're just fishing for compliments there. Can't you tell that you speak Enlish better than most who have English as their mother tongue.
Who, me? Umm, well, maybe just a bit... :roll:
Still, I seldom write anything in English so I honestly don't know if I make sense or not. Plus I'm a sort of a perfectionist, which has loads to do with my DP.
But, back to those sensations of numbness(!?) and other somatic or such symptoms. I've been more or less, usually less, numb for the past year or so. Haven't really had the symptoms appear in such hellish proportions, but can totally sympathize with what you're going through. Crawling even deeper in to that deep dark hole in my brain really doesn't help, so I've tried to interact with my enviroment, do stuff, even when it has felt totally in vain or scary or both. I firmly believe that we define ourselves through interaction, not introspection. That's a sort of a truism, I know, but realizing (and realizing
) it has made things a lot clearer for me.
My most terrifying somatic episodes have in fact had more to do with hypersensitivity than numbness. F. ex. there have been times when it seemed like I've become aware of every single sensory nerve in my body simultaneously. I see a strong analogue between such feelings and thoughts of being crushed under the sheer responsibility that follows being alive. Now that's a great way to make oneself's life hard: thinking of everything, almost even every single breath or blink, as a precious jewel forever lost in time and life, being consisted of "merely" such instants lined one after another, being lost bit by bit with every passing moment. Not to mention the cosmological and stronger metaphysical aspects of human being, being human. A finnish poet grasp this aspect beautifully: "At the moment of death, life lived is worth no more than a dream." (roughly translated) Not a good thought to build your "life" on.
Emmm, I think I'll need to stop writing before I really
lose track of what in (and of) the world I'm prattling about... :?