what are your exact symptoms?
Current Symptoms- in order of severity with the most disturbing being first
Visual derealization: Two-dimensional, flat like a picture, and as though I am seeing the world through a fish bowl.
Feelings of unreality/Derealization: Like I'm living in a dream... everything is fake. The distinct 'crispness' and emotional feeling associated with being in the present or in reality is gone. Everything is a blur.
Depersonalization: Feels like I'm 'going through the motions', like I don't have control of my body or like I'm in someone else's body. I often feel like a zombie, walking around half asleep, like half of my brain has been removed or like I am dead. This is generally present in the absence of anxiety. At this time speaking is often physically draining.
Visual and Auditory Over-stimulation: Extremely disoriented and confused in busy places-- leads to feelings of alcoholic intoxication. It's like during my thought process, my thoughts bump into each other and get all tangled up. I often describe this as being unable to filter out unnecessary stimuli (feels like I am being bombarded with visual and auditory stimuli). Results in having a difficult time both speaking and hearing. Difficulty hearing voices when background noise is present (while others have no problem). Often cannot determine from what direction a noise is coming from.
Anxiety: High base level of anxiety. Without anxiety the depersonalization is strongest.
Muscle tension and twitches: Neck tension especially at the base of my skull and dural tension. Occasional mouth/jaw stiffness with feelings of my mouth being frozen and therefore difficultly controlling mouth and speech. This leads to feelings of exhaustion when trying to speak. Muscle twitches at base of skull that turn my head slightly from side to side. Sounds of bones shifting accompany the spasms. Postural fatigue in neck area. Frequently need to lie down which helps reduce pressure feelings.
Subconscience stronger than conscience: My subconscious ?blabber? is noisier than before/the thoughts I do not consciously control are louder.
Time distortion: Perceived time lapses which feel as though a few minutes have passed without me knowing what I was doing during that time (better after starting Paxil).
Crackly/full ears: Inner ears can make sounds of velcro ripping upon voluntary muscle movement. It is now impossible to clear my ears.
Fading voice: Often when I speak, it's like each word I say quickly disappears from my conscience, as though I never said. This leads to having a hard time speaking. Sometimes I question whether or not I have said something or just thought it. This led to wondering (but knowing it wasn't possible) if people could hear my thoughts.
Social Anxiety: Feel uncomfortable around people. For example, in a line-up, I feel like I am being watched and judged leaving me feeling physically paralyzed. Often feel like people are watching me, talking/laughing about me and sometimes while walking alone with someone on the same road, I feel as though they are following me. I do know the possibilities of these occurring are unlikely though.
Control of movements: Often feel it is difficult to control my movements.
Insomnia: Mind won't stop thinking although the thoughts have no direction.