First of all, I would like to tell you that you are strong and that these feelings can go away and be totally manageable.
I was already depersonalized and then left and came back almost 6 years later because I experienced a lot of stress. and today I manage to manage it I find an almost normal life except that I have a symptom and I am afraid that it is more serious because I never had it before.
the symptom (I am giving an example because it is very hard to describe); I'm with my husband and my son in the room, I give the bottle, I stare at my son and it's like my brain bugs, life goes on, my husband speaks, etc., I answer automatically, he I I don't realize I'm totally disconnected, I do everything mechanically, I have the impression that everything is linked together, everything is going very quickly around me and that I participate in this without even wanting to, it's automatic.
It's like a bug in my brain, a sense of disconnect with what's going on. People around me are talking but suddenly it seems weird and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing there (but I keep talking, doing coherent things). When it happens to me nobody knows, notices or anything. I thought I had a brain tumor or a serious illness I said to myself it's not depersonalization that can do that anyway because It's very very impressive as a symptom
Love you everyone