Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
G

·
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
if things cannot be exactly as i want them to be, i simply do not want them and that is the problem. i thought i was getting better but today i realize that i am not, i am just getting better at hiding it all.. i am just evolving, things are showing themselves in different ways. i think i have said this befor. when iwas eleven i had my first anxiety atack, i remember bouncing a white volley ball up and downthe side walk, the sun was really bright and i started to think what if life is just the same thing every day, you get up , go to work or school, come home, eat, do the same thing over again..and i actually had to sit down cause i thought was going to fall apart with the fear that life was going to be repetitive. now things are like this and sometimes i feel like i am going to fall apart. i feel detatched from the world.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
Hi Aminic,

It is hard to come to some of life's realizations. One is, of course, things cannot be exactly as we want them to be. If they were as I would like them to be, rude people would have to go and create their own "I am a RudeAss" site. But, alas, things are not exactly like we want them to be.

This disorder thrives on fear, fear that you have had since at least 11 years old. I empathize with your feeling of falling apart. It is a horrible feeling to have. Detachment is one of the hardest things to deal with, too.

I was wondering what you are doing now to work on fighting against these emotions and thoughts that bring you so much pain? It is unfortunate that there is not a simple answer to managing this disorder. It takes work, work and more work. Falling down and getting back up many times over.

Sorry to hear this is not the best of times for you.
terri*
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
terri

i actually laughed at jonny's response cause he doesnt know me and i do live my life, i go to work full time and school , i spend time with my mom and sister and boyfriend, i clean my aparment i take care of my cats,i play the guitar. i live my life, and i very rarely self analyze, once and a while i get in a mood and i do. it is good to take a good look at your thoughts and why you are thinking them, if i did not all of the delutions i have, i would think were true.
thanks for you possitive advise, i try to just keep myself going and not stop, that is what i do to fight the negative feelings i have.
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
ok animic im glad ur not the type that keeps on analyzing and analyzing and anaylizing anyways sorry for the judgement, good luck
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Aminic,

I feel the same exact way. Please trust me when I tell you I'm there. In addition to the dp/dr I'm having delusions, which are not fun at all. They really suck, and are an un-pleasant surprise on top of the dp/dr. I think it is important to understand that the root of dp/dr may be thoughts we are not readily aware of. If there is any way you can get into a long term therapy (if you have not yet tried) please consider it. It might seem like an impossible situation to get out of, but I don't think it is. If you ever need to talk, please PM me.

Best,

Jon
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
thats alright jonny, sometimes i just feel like telling people what you told me but when i think about it i know that its not that simple and besides its probably just going to either make the person feel worse or piss them off.
i have but one delution that overwhelms me and i sort of wish i could get rid of but i know that the reason i dont is that the reality of the situtation would be way to hard for me to cope with. i dont write this stuff so that people will feel sorry for me or anything like that, i write because i hope that in some way it will help me. or that maybe someone might have an answare.
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
A,

I know what you mean by all the cliche "therapy" and the key to recovery lies within you stuff. When people tell me that it doesn't make me feel better, so I understand where you are coming from. However, I do think that the best chance of getting over these horrible symptoms lies in uncovering/exploring thoughts or feelings which got us up to this point. As hard as it might be to really grasp, most of us had stuff which led up to the dp/dr. If anyone didn't think this had much credence it was me, but the more I think about it, the more I think it is probably true. just a thought.

Take Care,

Jon
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top