Two nights ago I decided to give up. I will spare the details, as they are not the sunniest reading. However, I did try to end myself. I failed, obviously, and am now safe and sound.
I was ready to end my entire life and now I have it back. I still feel the same depersonalization and derealization, but I am alive. This will be the third night since, and I am stuck somewhere between joy and sadness.
Where do you go from here? How do you start over? How can my family look at me the same?
I realize we have only one life. We have only one chance here.
I have never been at this place before. The horror of that night will always remind me that there is no other option but to live. To grin and bear it. Like someone said on the board, to bash through dp/dr's walls with a stupid smile on my face.
Whether or not you know me or care, I have to post about this. Other than my doctor, noone can relate to how i felt those moments leading up.
Thank you guys for being out there....
Blake
I was ready to end my entire life and now I have it back. I still feel the same depersonalization and derealization, but I am alive. This will be the third night since, and I am stuck somewhere between joy and sadness.
Where do you go from here? How do you start over? How can my family look at me the same?
I realize we have only one life. We have only one chance here.
I have never been at this place before. The horror of that night will always remind me that there is no other option but to live. To grin and bear it. Like someone said on the board, to bash through dp/dr's walls with a stupid smile on my face.
Whether or not you know me or care, I have to post about this. Other than my doctor, noone can relate to how i felt those moments leading up.
Thank you guys for being out there....
Blake