[livinginhell333]

i find myself asking that a lot. i keep trying to get myself back, to feel alive, but it never happens. at nite i think more positive then i go to sleep. i ususally think about the past and past memories b4 i sleep, like how i got to this point and then when i wake up back to square one. can't i just wake up and feel a little better a little more alive? i don't understand. sometimes i don't even think i have dp. but physically fine, i have a lot of the symptoms so i guess i do. i really do feel like i'm not here, i feel like i'm not even breathing. and i do feel like a mind without a body, a tortured mind at that, which sometimes has to force to think and can't really access emotion.

i can't get excited anymore, which sucks major balls. i don't feel at peace, that inner happiness, there is no joy. um my smiles don't even feel real most of the time. the only emotions i feel are frustration and sadness sometimes. i don't really feel anger. i can't even force out this feelings. like my mom was in the hospital a few weeks ago with a partial blockage and i didn't feel anything, not sad, worried, nothing at all. thats not supposed to happen, i mean what if a family member died, i don't think i would feel anything, like sadness, grief, and i would prolly feel guilty if that happended. i really hate living like this. feeling like life is over.

 

[Sojourner]

Low-grade anxiety mixed with panic attack (no bodily symptoms).

Repressed emotions; try to find the spigot and open it.

 

[livinginhell333]

what does that mean. i don't get panic attacks anymore, but i do think i have low grade anxiety, i just don't feel the anxiety in my body.

 

[Sojourner]

Yes, it's anxiety in the mind. The body is being flooded with chemicals that shouldn't be there. My doctors tells me it's a chronic condition. He says people without organic brain illness do NOT get panic attacks; they may get normal anxiety, but it doesn't ever rise to the level we experience.

 

[livinginhell333]

ooo i understand now. i always tell my doctor i don't feel anxious i feel nothing, but i guess it is anxiety. its not like anxiety that i have to take benzo's. what can i do to help this?

 

[Sojourner]

My guess is that there are unconscious feelings that are trying to work their way into your consciousness. You are afraid of these feelings, because they are very painful, and so you create the defense of anxiety, which prevents the feelings from surfacing.

A good next thing to explore would be psychodynamic therapy where you talk face-to-face with a therapist who is trained to help you access the unconscious stuff that's bothering you. If you are willing to participate in that process, you may well see your anxiety reduce gradually.

There are three ways to beat anxiety:

- Accept the feelings -- do not fight them. Just accept them. Float through it and see if it dissipates. If you offer resistence to anxiety, you are buying four tons more than you already have. But some anxiety is impossible to float through, so proceed to the next item below.

- Psychodynamic therapy/psychoanalytical therapy

- Benzos/antidepressants like Zoloft (see a trained psychopharmacologist/psychiatrist who specializes in depressive disorders)

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In many cases, it can be a mixture of both psychological and organic factors.