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Just a question I'd like to gain some insight on. I've read about what people here say and it seems to be the opposite for me.

Here's just a quick example of some of my symptoms

1. My DP is strongest in AM - like 7 am as soon as I wake up. I used to grab the bed and hold onto it for dear life / although now it is easier to get up... but still - it's the strongest when I wake.

2. I drive an hour and 10 minutes to work every day. It's usually okay when I drive - but if I look down to grab my coffee for instance and look up - I get tunnel vision and start to have symptoms of a panic attack out of nowhere (I do drink coffee everyday) almost as if focusing on the coffee and looking up at all traffic etc is a huge stimuli reaction that gives me immediate panic (best way to describe)

3. I get stuck in these thought patterns - even in the middle of something (who am I?, etc) even when busy at work

4. Social situations actually calm me down. If I'm in panic mode, talking with others actually helps it a lot - even if I'm a group of people. If I'm alone - it's the worst.

5. I never had any abuse and my childhood was great - although I did have one traumatic event with the loss of a loved one.

6. I did not ever experience DP during childhood it may have started mildly around 20-21, but my nervous breakdown this July and August put it in the worst state

7. I am a recovering opiate addict. 67 days today. I quit my use because of DP during my breakdown and checked into rehab.

8. I currently take: 100 mg Naltrexone, 50 mg Lamictal, 1200 mg Gabapentin and 50 mg Seroquel

9. I usually sleep 8-10 hours per night

10. I've had an EEG done and waiting on results. I do get pressure and pain on the top left side of my head - but my MRI was fine

11. I fear drug use, extreme financial challenges and an underlying anxiety disorder contributed

12. I am starting emdr this week or next.

13. I have no problem going out with my wife and kids, going to work, going to events, etc

14. I do occasionally and more then often get this HUGE fog that feels like it encompasses my head - it impairs my cognitive ability to think, act, resonate, and causes perceptional and visual changes (aka like DP fog) - think that movie "The Fog" that swallows the whole town

15. I can get ready in front of the mirror some days and not even bat an eye and other days I stare at myself and ruminate

This is just some things about what I deal with.

I don't really have existential thoughts (I'm catholic and understand my role here on earth, no racing thoughts, and until my nervous breakdown (horrible pannic attacks - called 911 twice and breakthrough DP)

I went through many changes recently and found myself in severe financial strife + addiction.

Nights are the best to me... when it's dark and I'm off work in the house. My anxiety is very low.

This is kind of my story. I know we are all different
 

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And ps for context on #6 - I am 27 now. So I think that I had symptoms of DP (mildly in background) but my nervous breakdown this August put DPDR front and center

Also - not on any ssri's but did try Anafranil - had to get off within a week due to side effects. Naltrexone gives me no side effects at all (although I do have my liver checked by my addictionologist)

I am interested in an ssri (very low dose) - just not sure which one

Also - For context on my addiction: 6 years Norco addict (50-100 mg) and 1 year oxy addict (as high as 160-170 mg a day -- very lucky I'm still alive)

When it comes to internalization - I can rationalize my thoughts and speak to my inner self. I don't think I have blank mind symptoms - but I absolutely ruminate all the time and get caught in horrible anxiety triggered thought rotation.

I do feel "myself" typing these words - but I also feel like I see out of my "minds eye" and not always my own 2 eyes. Hard to describe.

The depersonalization picture on google with man sitting behind a pair of eyes is a perfect example
 
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