my lifes experience is right now so weird. I feel like im living excactly like i was living a year ago and now im doing it all again. My thoughts are floating and i feel like i have nothing inside. But this total confusion. I feel i have been tortured away from myself. That my real life is somewhere. This is not my true life. It just cannot be. I feel im not really even alive. But im waiting something. Still i keep experience these very crazy feelings... Sometimes they are shocking. And i just need to open my mouth. Sometimes i see how broken i am. And it shocks me. Even when i know that these are same things what have happened before. Those still happen.and i cannot control them. Im afraid that this life is waiting me doing something but im too confused.