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my lifes experience is right now so weird. I feel like im living excactly like i was living a year ago and now im doing it all again. My thoughts are floating and i feel like i have nothing inside. But this total confusion. I feel i have been tortured away from myself. That my real life is somewhere. This is not my true life. It just cannot be. I feel im not really even alive. But im waiting something. Still i keep experience these very crazy feelings... Sometimes they are shocking. And i just need to open my mouth. Sometimes i see how broken i am. And it shocks me. Even when i know that these are same things what have happened before. Those still happen.and i cannot control them. Im afraid that this life is waiting me doing something but im too confused.
 

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The total confusion and chaos comes from not being connected to anything.

If you narrow your focus and try to connect to one thing (that is under you control) you can't be confused or paralyzed.

This is how people without DP/DR generally live most of the time. In DP/DR, it seems you have to solve the whole illusory "problem" of life and can't descend back down into life until that's accomplished.

Right now, you're "connected" to Nothing. (Or, what amounts to the same thing, trying to comprehend everything all at once.) That creates a lot of space for those crazy feelings.

The world and your self is held far away from you, like a longsighted person trying to read a book.

You need to draw it back towards you, and that happens emotionally through your actions.

You can stay stuck for another year by repeating the same thoughts. You can create, repair, solidify, transform and free your self and reality by changing your thoughts and actions just a little and repeating every day.

my lifes experience is right now so weird. I feel like im living excactly like i was living a year ago and now im doing it all again. My thoughts are floating and i feel like i have nothing inside. But this total confusion. I feel i have been tortured away from myself. That my real life is somewhere. This is not my true life. It just cannot be. I feel im not really even alive. But im waiting something. Still i keep experience these very crazy feelings... Sometimes they are shocking. And i just need to open my mouth. Sometimes i see how broken i am. And it shocks me. Even when i know that these are same things what have happened before. Those still happen.and i cannot control them. Im afraid that this life is waiting me doing something but im too confused.
 

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I relate a lot to the confused and shocked feeling, shocked by my existence and feelings. Utter confusion. Solus, your post helped me, I think this is what I'm beginning to realize. It gives me a lot of hope that others have found relief that way.
 
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