Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
324 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's 2pm, I'm at my desk with my new boss, at my new job.
I made a little mistake thats he's now going to find out in the next seconds...I've been anxious (moderatly) over that for 2 days...just trying to think how I'll handle it...
The moment of truth came really fast, he said to me *ahh no problems, noone will notice and the computer is destined to a workshop*
I made a big scratch on the black casing...
Fine, we sit down again, I'm glad it wasnt that bad, oups, a weird heart palpitation, another, 3 in 20 seconds, fuck another one...really deep and disturbing palpitation, the heart that kinda flips upside down...with the slight feeling that it doesnt start again...
I beleive that was the stress coming out of my chest...

Want something scarrier ? Read on...

I was returning to the city this same afternoon, I'm practicing going back to my old home (in the subburbs) caus i get DP all the time I go there now...since my big DP attack 2 months ago.

I'm almost on the bridge now, (not scared of bridges)...
A weird feeling, out of the blue, I wasnt the same anymore, everything looked from a different angle, I started feeling the movement of the car with a demonic intensity, like if it was my body that took all the shocks from the road instead of the chucks...
My heart starts racing a bit...
The DR increases, the chuck feeling too, everyting looks like it's going to fail...

I'm on the bridge now, I dont know how the heck I'm still able to put my flashers and turn the wheel, but I am still doing it and watching for cars.
At the same time I'm so deep in DR, how can my brain manage all that...
Now the lower part of my back hurts badly, I get some kind of huge muscle spasm ( I get this when I panick badly )
When I have this when I'm standing up (the back muscle spasms), I can't even walk...literally...anyone else ???
I'm scared of the full blown panic attack over the immersive DR...what a hellish mix... :twisted:
I really feel like my heart won't be able to support all that fear and weird stuff happening...
Feeling like my body is totally failing...

I'm now in the middle of the bridge, gotta escape that feeling...
I pick the phone and call a friend, I know she's not there....still ringing...
No answer...
I call back again, no answer...
Take a cigarette on the passenger seat, light it up, can't even think of getting a breath on it, I'm too messed, just to have something in my hand...

Slowly is passes, I'm now in the city, traffic, need to drive...
Still having the weird feeling that I'm now the suspension of my car...but everyting is smoother...

Thats the kind of things that happen to me when I skip a meal...
I usually have a snack around 3pm and then eat dinner at 5pm.
It was 7h30pm and the last time I had food between my teeths was at 1pm....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
324 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It's both...thats the tough part.
My blood sugar was tested and I'm slightly hypo they said...
I beleive I'm more that slightly, I'm extremely sensitive to the kind of food I ingest too...

But still, blood, brain, psych, nerves and heart, they're all in the same package...and directly modifiy their whole...

I just posted that to share...to much to diagnose...thanks anyways MrMole :)
 
G

·
That's cool, every little scrap of info can help hopefully, if the pro's are reading this site.

I've been eating like a saint recently and don't fell 'much' different...but I do feel quite good, now I stop and think about it.

More of mine is 'psych' based, as you put it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
133 Posts
Inflammed, I think that you just posted this to show how it is related to what you eat and whatnot, but I can relate so much to those symptoms. Your post made me feel a little better, I know that I'm not suffering this alone, but it's a lot different to actually read a story.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
281 Posts
Inflammed, as I read your post I thought to myself that you are one strong person. To continue on when you were feeling like you were shows that you try very hard to keep things in control. I know the feeling of the heart flutters, they feel horrible and they scare the ---- out of me. I just think I am going to die when that happens. You showed great control going through all this suffering. I think possible that your sugar could have been low and these feelings do come if that happens. Then with the anxiety on top it would have made you feel even worse. It is a frightening feeling and I can sympathize with you.

gem.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top