[maria]

Okay, do you think this is a bad or good sign: since dp I've felt indifferent about all things, now I've started to feel indifferent about dp too. I don't see what life has to offer to me whether I have dp or not. Last time I felt happy was as a child and that's 10 years ago so I don't know what to expect from life. Maybe it just sucks.

 

[Sojourner]

What makes you happy?

 

[maria]

What makes you happy?

If there was something, I wouldn't be here

 

[Guest]

i know exactly what you mean. its like you look at someone or something and you ask yourself, what should i think about this/that? and then you get anxious because you just dont know and feel like you're just nothing..

 

[[rula]]

Okay, do you think this is a bad or good sign: since dp I've felt indifferent about all things, now I've started to feel indifferent about dp too.

I think it's an excellent sign. When you stop caring so much about dp and stop paying so much attention to it, you're not "feeding the monster" any more...things will slowly come back to normal. a lot of people describe indifference to DP as the 1st step to recovery.

-ru

 

[jake]

Do you mean indifferent to Dp itself as in---just so sick of it and burnt out that you're numb now? I still give symptoms way too much power and influence. I'd like to be one of two things: symptom-free, which I am not sure is possible-Or, when they rear their ugly head, be able to talk myself down. As for life sucks? The past 3 months I've been surprised to hear my head tell me, my whole insides tell me, "You know if this doesn't let up what's the point of being alive?" I was shocked b/cuz though I have depression it's a rare thing for me to wanna throw in the towel on EVERYTHING. But this is where DP has brought me to these past months. I have some relief now from being on this board, and some contact with family that had gone a few years with none, and also just had a med increase. So that low feeling is lessened now, praise be. I hope you find out if it's a good or bad thing for you. Maybe you ae just tired. This stuff takes lots of energy. Well wishes to you.

 

[person3]

being indifferent about the dp is a GOOD thing IMO. I think you've reached a "hey whatever" point instead of trying to solve it. now you can go about your daily tasks and just get through the day. keep doing that and see if, after a while, you find a spark of passion for something you want to do. i believe you will. then try it out.

that would be my suggestion.

 

[person3]

i think it's a trick of your obsessive mind to get you to CARE about the dp as well. it's the disease talking to you, being like "hey, look at me again!"

you could actually be making a lot of progress here by becoming indifferent to it. go out and do the things you feel the dp has "kept" you from.

 

[dalailama15]

Maria,

I can't say weather this is a good or a bad sign. But I have tried indifference, and my sense is, for me, right now, that I don't like it, and I don't want it.

Like you, I can also say that I have not been happy since I was a child, and that was significantly more than ten years ago.

When I can actually feel this sentiment, I can be so so sad at the loss, but also, just disgusted with myself for having, day by day, accepted it.

And then, sometimes, I can feel a little roused, a little determined, and even a little optimistic, when I tell myself this: No, goddammit, do not settle for a joyless existence. Not today or tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow.

 

[maria]

Jake, I mean indifferent in the way that I don't think about it all the time, don't analyze how I feel every minute and how I've sometimes felt. I'm kinda hoping it's a good sign. Sometimes I even forget why everything feels like crap, until I remember. There are some other small positive signs which I can't remember right now, but I of course shouldn't get my hopes up. The future is still colored black, I don't feel anything, don't want anything. But I've got a new therapist, who seems like a level headed person and he's also cute.

 

[jake]

maria, haaa your post made me smile,thank you. watch out for those goodlookin therapists! Seriouslythough hey he is level headed and and you are in a place to make use of therapy now, cuz your symptoms have faded, hell I say good deal, go for it. I'm real happy for you. Hey you like the Simpsons--my FAVORITE still to this day is where Homer gains weight on purpose to get on disability! Hysterical! Keep on keepin on,
--jake

 

[Da'Burgh]

I'm in the same boat as you, Maria. We're in separate tubes though.

I hope this is a good thing also, but I don't see why it wouldn't be. Maybe someone who overcame this 100% could explain...

::AHEM:: :lol:

 

[Sojourner]

Jake, I mean indifferent in the way that I don't think about it all the time, don't analyze how I feel every minute and how I've sometimes felt. I'm kinda hoping it's a good sign.

Okay, I understand what you're saying much better now.

Yes, it's an excellent sign. It must mean that your mind is engaged in things other than self-monitoring. I would not worry about the few times it goes back.

I've been off drugs for a month and have had no depression and no anxiety, but sometimes when I get very tired, a feeling as if I might have a panic attack almost comes back, you know, just the precursor thing -- a bit of a jolt of warning. But it doesn't come back.

One thing that really helps is physical exercise, in addition to doing things and using your mind for other activities. Even just walking for two hours is good.

So, yes, it's a very good sign. I think the word indifferent kind of suggested something quite different initially, but now that you've clarified it, for sure -- it's a big step to notice it and not a worry that occasionally the thoughts come back.

Now, do tell how you accomplished this! What kinds of activities did you feel you were ready to undertake? Or, put another way, what changed for you to bring you to this moment?

 

[Guest]

someone erased a very relevant post of mine. it was about how i think you should never be indifferent to dp/dr, and keep in mind that is something bad that you want to get rid of..because if it never goes away you arent living life to what it could be. dont ignore your problems, for some people that is what caused their dp.

 

[maria]

Hey you like the Simpsons--my FAVORITE still to this day is where Homer gains weight on purpose to get on disability! Hysterical! Keep on keepin on,

The Simpsons are the best, I like Homer the most. Wouldn't want to marry him though.

Now, do tell how you accomplished this! What kinds of activities did you feel you were ready to undertake? Or, put another way, what changed for you to bring you to this moment?

Well, since this started 1,5 years ago, when I had a breakdown, things have been slowly improving thanks to meds. The latest improvement was when I went to a mental hospital for three months. It?s just that I do observe my brain not being as weird as say a year ago, I can tell dp wise things are in some ways different, I don?t have as much visible symptoms such as hysteria as back then, and people keep telling me I seem to be doing much better, but I still feel as bad as 1,5 ago. And the pain is there all the time .It still seems like a really really long way to go, and I don't know if there are enough hours in one lifetime to get there. I feel my brain melted down 1, 5 years ago and has been trying to put itself back together and has succeeded in some ways but I still don't see light at the end of the tunnel. Dp or no dp.

And then, sometimes, I can feel a little roused, a little determined, and even a little optimistic, when I tell myself this: No, goddammit, do not settle for a joyless existence. Not today or tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow.

I wish I get there someday..now when I try to pep myself up, I don't believe what I'm telling myself.