bright23 said:
Sojourner ? I think you really need to follow Janine closer on this one. You keep insisting on DP as an optional way of looking at the world, like some sort of interesting perspective that only produces distress when we are weak with Fear and Panic.
Bright, I think you really need to follow what I am saying and perhaps what Janine actually said. She talked about what it is not -- just "thoughts" -- it's the experience she wrote about. Yes, I know it. She
wrote, and I quote her: "This is MORE than "thinking certain kinds of thoughts"
My mind CAUSED within itself an EXPERIENCE of LIVING those thoughts, not just Thinking them."
And in case you missed this: "I can sit here right now and have those thoughts or enter into some existential discussion about reality and the human experience and subjectivity.... " That's what I was referring to when I wrote about "kind of fun."
bright23 said:
I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I think you just might be lucky enough not to have had depersonalization, as its defined DSM-IV. Anxiety and Panic Attack DR yes, but not DP.
I have said right along that I get DP with panic attacks only and ever since I found that I could take Ativan to get RID of it, I don't suffer with it, which may explain why I have been urging people to NOT accept it but to get medicine to remove the symptoms. Then, and only then, find out what's causing it.
Actually, it's DR that I probably don't have, because I do NOT see through a veil or think that my body is strange. It is my SELF that turns into some alien thing that I cannot even name that happens and all the rest.
bright23 said:
The shift to full DP experience is so dramatic, terrifying, uncontrollable that the idea we can think our way out of it while its happening, that its happening because we won't face the REAL issues, is insulting. I can only draw the conclusion from your writings that you don't relate to the DP experience.
I know, Bright, and I refuse to not take medicine when I get a panic attack. It it hell itself and those who say they are "living with it" strike me as having something a lot less terrifying than what *I* experienced. So there you are.
Type on a message board when I had DP? Inconceivable!
bright23 said:
You obviously belong on this website, many of your posts are very helpful. Don't take this the wrong way, we all only want to help each other here.
Yes, I agree. Try to believe that when I say I agree with someone and that's how I feel, that I'm not just saying it. Why would anyone do such a thing? Nobody would.
The terror Janine describes, the terror and uncanniness of it all, yes, I know what it's like, but frankly, anyone who can come here and say they have what I experienced right this minute while they're typing is kidding themselves. It's so terrifying that one cannot DO anything but quake and run to stop the torture.
I'm not saying that we all have identical symptoms, however. When I come here I do not have anxiety or DP. I'm feeling rather good, actually.
I won't even tolerate 5 minutes of feeling a panic attack is coming. It isn't worth it. I never have DP anymore because I do not accept having it, and I would suggest that the longer people try to "live" with it, the less likely they are to ever get better, because they have given up hope and acclimated themselves to misery.
Bottom line, misunderstandings always happen, even among the most articulate people. I never said anything about thinking your way out of it; if you think I did, please show me where exactly and I will attempt to explain what I was trying to say -- what you clearly misinterpreted.
You cannot THINK your way out of it -- that's for sure. They told me to let the feelings "wash" over me and they would leave on their own. It did not happen, so drugs -- big deal, at most .5 mg Ativan every other day -- is my choice because I absolutely refuse to accept living in hell. God has provided a temporary respite via drugs and I am grateful.
