Joined
·
832 Posts
These 2 things combined has had me going through gut wrenching realizations/regrets. Like i can't take anything seriously, because it's all fake right?..
What is DP/DR like for you?
941 - 960 of 970 Posts
Joined
·
182 Posts
(death doesnt exist its just what humanity calls it to be no longer ''existent'') ''death'' is pure relief and enlightment...pure love...dp/dr is actually the opposite..a false perception of reality that leads one to many dead ends and wrong conclusions...i still have these episodes where i think this way..but i know its not true..its just easier to judge like this if you feel this way..
Joined
·
19 Posts
I feel like it is all those things. Do you mean visual distortions like things seem far away?
Hi everyone,
A while ago I experienced feelings of depersonalisation and it very much freaked me out/scared me, mainly because I read blogs like this that did little to reassure me.
Therefore, I am writing to tell everyone who reads this in a state of panic that it is OK, and it is nothing more than anxiety displaying itself physically.
My symptoms felt like I was a bit dizzy, couldn't really focus on anything, and I felt out of my body, like sounds weren't real and I just felt a bit 'out of it'.
The one thing that makes this worse, is focussing on how you feel. The only way to get it to go away is to distract yourself, and to not worry.
The chances are if you feel like this, you are suffering from underlying stress, panic attacks, anxiety. For me, it was GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), which doctors didn't understand how to diagnose.
PLEASE don't think you are "mental", "going insane", going to be locked up in an institute. These symptoms are normal and just the body displaying it's 'fight or flight' response.
The things I found that helped were:
-Exercise - I can't stress this enough how important it is. For me, it is the one thing that guarantees to take me out of my head and not focus on how I am feeling or anything else at all. It has also been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, depression, and for me is the best natural reliever and prevents you from taking medication. It is really effective. and free! I would recommend running, swimming, but in particular a team sport such as football, netball, hockey etc.
-No Drugs/Alcohol. I will only drink alcohol when i'm feeling ok. These are two of the worst things for depersonalisation, and I recommend to steer clear until you are feeling better. I particularly found my symptoms worse the day after drinking.
-Jigsaw puzzles - a great way to take your mind off how you feel
-Building/construction - for me it was adult lego! I felt like a bit of a kid but similar to the jigsaws it takes my mind off things.
-Painting/drawing
-Walking
-Meditation (present moment focus - this doesn't have to include chanting/a religious focus)
- Calling someone - the worst thing you can do is go through this on your own. Just have a chat to a friend/family member, and try not to mention how you are feeling, sometimes the distraction and not focussing on your own symptoms can help.
-Do something you know you enjoy and have put off
-Music - if you're feeling down put something upbeat on you can sing along too. If you're anxious or worried put some chilled music on. Have a dance too!
-Force yourself to smile
-TV - can help but don't overuse this. put on a comedy show for 30 minutes.
-Think about something completely different - ie. what will I wear tomorrow, what are my plans for this weekend
-Vitamin D - being in the sunshine is always good for your body and a great way to relax
Finally - it is ok to feel like this! I use the technique of 'labelling'. When i'm having a spell of feeling out of it I just say to myself "OK, I'm feeling out of it, but that's alright because it's just anxiety, and this is normal'.
The key is distraction, and not to do things that won't help you. Don't focus on how you're feeling, just tell yourself it's ok and carry on with your day.
I hope this has been a help to at least one person
A while ago I experienced feelings of depersonalisation and it very much freaked me out/scared me, mainly because I read blogs like this that did little to reassure me.
Therefore, I am writing to tell everyone who reads this in a state of panic that it is OK, and it is nothing more than anxiety displaying itself physically.
My symptoms felt like I was a bit dizzy, couldn't really focus on anything, and I felt out of my body, like sounds weren't real and I just felt a bit 'out of it'.
The one thing that makes this worse, is focussing on how you feel. The only way to get it to go away is to distract yourself, and to not worry.
The chances are if you feel like this, you are suffering from underlying stress, panic attacks, anxiety. For me, it was GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), which doctors didn't understand how to diagnose.
PLEASE don't think you are "mental", "going insane", going to be locked up in an institute. These symptoms are normal and just the body displaying it's 'fight or flight' response.
The things I found that helped were:
-Exercise - I can't stress this enough how important it is. For me, it is the one thing that guarantees to take me out of my head and not focus on how I am feeling or anything else at all. It has also been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, depression, and for me is the best natural reliever and prevents you from taking medication. It is really effective. and free! I would recommend running, swimming, but in particular a team sport such as football, netball, hockey etc.
-No Drugs/Alcohol. I will only drink alcohol when i'm feeling ok. These are two of the worst things for depersonalisation, and I recommend to steer clear until you are feeling better. I particularly found my symptoms worse the day after drinking.
-Jigsaw puzzles - a great way to take your mind off how you feel
-Building/construction - for me it was adult lego! I felt like a bit of a kid but similar to the jigsaws it takes my mind off things.
-Painting/drawing
-Walking
-Meditation (present moment focus - this doesn't have to include chanting/a religious focus)
- Calling someone - the worst thing you can do is go through this on your own. Just have a chat to a friend/family member, and try not to mention how you are feeling, sometimes the distraction and not focussing on your own symptoms can help.
-Do something you know you enjoy and have put off
-Music - if you're feeling down put something upbeat on you can sing along too. If you're anxious or worried put some chilled music on. Have a dance too!
-Force yourself to smile
-TV - can help but don't overuse this. put on a comedy show for 30 minutes.
-Think about something completely different - ie. what will I wear tomorrow, what are my plans for this weekend
-Vitamin D - being in the sunshine is always good for your body and a great way to relax
Finally - it is ok to feel like this! I use the technique of 'labelling'. When i'm having a spell of feeling out of it I just say to myself "OK, I'm feeling out of it, but that's alright because it's just anxiety, and this is normal'.
The key is distraction, and not to do things that won't help you. Don't focus on how you're feeling, just tell yourself it's ok and carry on with your day.
I hope this has been a help to at least one person
Joined
·
1 Posts
I've self diagnosed, but for me this has been going on off and on for years, however recently it has become way way more often. It's scariest when driving. The trees, cars, signs, etc suddenly look flat? Like they have no dimension. And the colors seem more vibrant or dull, I haven't figured out why that varies yet. the steering wheel will feel different than usual, like its the first time I've noticed the way it feels or something. And sometimes I have this weird sense of calm. I'm typically a very high stress driver and constantly cautious of what every one else is doing but this feeling makes me just drive... But it's like auto pilot. Not actually thinking about what I'm doing just going. It's overwhelming to think about even. Aside from driving, weird things happen. My voice doesn't feel sound like my voice anymore sometimes. It feels like I'm watching a movie instead of actively living. The worse is the dream feeling, where I realize it's just a feeling then get sucked back into the dream like state. Can anyone else relate?
Joined
·
10 Posts
Absolutely spot on all you say mirrors myself perfectly when im at my worst I just tell myself its dp and carry on as best I can .Hi everyone,
A while ago I experienced feelings of depersonalisation and it very much freaked me out/scared me, mainly because I read blogs like this that did little to reassure me.
Therefore, I am writing to tell everyone who reads this in a state of panic that it is OK, and it is nothing more than anxiety displaying itself physically.
My symptoms felt like I was a bit dizzy, couldn't really focus on anything, and I felt out of my body, like sounds weren't real and I just felt a bit 'out of it'.
The one thing that makes this worse, is focussing on how you feel. The only way to get it to go away is to distract yourself, and to not worry.
The chances are if you feel like this, you are suffering from underlying stress, panic attacks, anxiety. For me, it was GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), which doctors didn't understand how to diagnose.
PLEASE don't think you are "mental", "going insane", going to be locked up in an institute. These symptoms are normal and just the body displaying it's 'fight or flight' response.
The things I found that helped were:
-Exercise - I can't stress this enough how important it is. For me, it is the one thing that guarantees to take me out of my head and not focus on how I am feeling or anything else at all. It has also been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, depression, and for me is the best natural reliever and prevents you from taking medication. It is really effective. and free! I would recommend running, swimming, but in particular a team sport such as football, netball, hockey etc.
-No Drugs/Alcohol. I will only drink alcohol when i'm feeling ok. These are two of the worst things for depersonalisation, and I recommend to steer clear until you are feeling better. I particularly found my symptoms worse the day after drinking.
-Jigsaw puzzles - a great way to take your mind off how you feel
-Building/construction - for me it was adult lego! I felt like a bit of a kid but similar to the jigsaws it takes my mind off things.
-Painting/drawing
-Walking
-Meditation (present moment focus - this doesn't have to include chanting/a religious focus)
- Calling someone - the worst thing you can do is go through this on your own. Just have a chat to a friend/family member, and try not to mention how you are feeling, sometimes the distraction and not focussing on your own symptoms can help.
-Do something you know you enjoy and have put off
-Music - if you're feeling down put something upbeat on you can sing along too. If you're anxious or worried put some chilled music on. Have a dance too!
-Force yourself to smile
-TV - can help but don't overuse this. put on a comedy show for 30 minutes.
-Think about something completely different - ie. what will I wear tomorrow, what are my plans for this weekend
-Vitamin D - being in the sunshine is always good for your body and a great way to relax
Finally - it is ok to feel like this! I use the technique of 'labelling'. When i'm having a spell of feeling out of it I just say to myself "OK, I'm feeling out of it, but that's alright because it's just anxiety, and this is normal'.
The key is distraction, and not to do things that won't help you. Don't focus on how you're feeling, just tell yourself it's ok and carry on with your day.
I hope this has been a help to at least one person
My view is ...Dp is anxiety related it's when your brain can't handle the anxiety any longer and goes in to sleep mode I've had it all my life . Things to do are to talk about it as much as possible , don't drink alcohol or smoke dope they are the worst things pissible and most importantly accept it and don't fight it that causes more anxiety and prolongs it , also your NOT !! going mad your brain is just protecting itself from huge amounts of and anxiety by desensitizing itself .
Joined
·
5 Posts
i think i also experience dr more than dp. my perception goes in and out when i focus on some things and it feels as if i am zooming out when i look someone in the eyes while talking to them. i also feel a growing/shrinking sensation when i am trying to go to sleep before i am tired enough. as for phsyical problems the muscles in my legs tense up briefly but consistently when i feel very self aware and am trying to stay still, such as when i am sitting next to someone. my eyes also twitch and i have a few nervous ticks with my eyes/fingers but i think that is just from anxiety and not dr related...
Joined
·
9 Posts
Hey guys, I got my self diagnosed DP DR and anxiety from a panic attack after weed in July. I was constantly tired afterward and now that's gone but today stopped my panic attack in its tracks because everything was getting overwhelming. But I guess my question is do my symptoms sounds like DP DR or like Hyperawareness which I feel like could be related to DP or DR, but just nowadays I get really aware of my movements and what I'm doing and like my motions of my body and what I'm doing and it freaks me out and sometimes feel isolated from everybody and thing. I truly believe I am recovering because 2 months ago I wouldn't even go outside but this past week I have been outside with my friends and it makes me feel better but I guess today was just a bad day. But also sometimes when I look at things up close it just doesn't seem normal it just seems weird. But yeah, please reply and feel free to ask questions because I have hope I'll beat this! Sometimes it just doesn't show and I get worried but not as worried anymore because well it's just a tired brain!
Joined
·
77 Posts
Like a bad Acid Trip.
My DP is constant. I've been depersonalized for almost 9 months and I haven't "snapped out of it" even for one second over those months. Every minute of every day I am painfully aware of my detachment. I have a bunch of symptoms but I feel the need to note that I've also been diagnosed with CPTSD/PTSD (CPTSD from childhood and PTSD from a series of car accidents that caused my DP), so it's hard to say what is caused by the trauma or strictly due to the DP itself.
- Someone else said this, and I'm just quoting it here because I felt it was eloquently put: "One metaphor for one aspect is a transparent, or translucent, barrier between me and the world. I can see through it, and I can remember what life was like on the other side, but I can't penetrate it." - dalailama15
- I often feel like an outsider watching the rest of the world be engaged and present in their lives while I am constantly aware of the fact that I'm unable to embody that type of presence in mine.
- I struggle with time quite a lot. I'm never able to discern how much time has passed, sometimes it passes very quickly and other times it drags on. I also feel like things that happened two or three days ago happened weeks ago.
- Along with issues with time, my memory is pretty bad (not that it was great before DP). I struggle to remember what I did a few days ago as the days seem to blend in to one another (I attribute this to the fact that my mind-state never changes so no matter where I am or what I'm doing everything feels exactly the same).
- I have absolutely no emotions. I don't feel happiness, love, or excitement but I also don't experience anger or sadness or grief. I look at my family, boyfriend and friends and I no longer feel that emotional connection. I am able to cry, but I experience this intellectually. In the past, I would be sad or angry and as a result I would cry. Now, when I'm in therapy and I start crying, I only deduce that I must be sad because there are tears on my cheeks. I feel absolutely no connection to the tears and no relief after I'm done crying. I can feel anxiety/guilt/dread but I attribute this to my next symptom.
- Intrusive/Obsessive thoughts. I often get very fixated on an intrusive thought and can spend an entire day anxious because I'm circling around and around the thought. I believe this happens because I'm extremely detached from my emotions so I have a hard time knowing how I feel about things/people/events and therefore have a hard time trusting myself. This makes me question everything and never really reach a conclusion. My therapist believes these thoughts are a way for my mind to attempt to gain some semblance of control over a situation that is ultimately out of my hands and over my head. Rationalization doesn't work and the only thing I can really do to aid this is distract myself as best as I can.
- Racing heart-rate from time to time. Ever since the onset of my DP, I've noticed my heart rate is much higher than I believe it was beforehand. (Note that I never paid much attention to my heart-rate before DP as I could never feel it or see it thumping in my chest as I can now.)
- Lack of imagination. In the book, "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, he discusses how trauma impacts a survivor's ability to imagine a different future for themselves outside of their currently reality (often in reference to their PTSD). I mention this book because my DP was due to trauma and van der Kolk provided a lot of insight into what I am dealing with/going through. I can no longer daydream. I have absolutely no imagination, and I used to be a very avid daydreamer- when I was driving, when I was spacing out in class, when I would go for walks, etc.
- A complete and total disinterest in life in general. Things don't mean anything to me anymore. The hobbies I used to have no longer bring me pleasure. I have a hard time setting goals or focusing on the future because I just don't care about anything. I have no access to feelings like ambition, determination or drive. When I accomplish tasks, I no longer have a sense of pride about them. I used to be a chronic over-achiever. I graduated college with honors all while working 2 jobs. I was constantly on top of to-do lists and a pretty productive person overall. Now, it's hard for me to see a point in doing anything. Everything feels like it requires so much effort and because I don't get any personal satisfaction from anything, I do much less.
- A complete inability to be fully present, ever. No matter what I'm doing, my mind is always going. I'm constantly trapped in my internal world, worrying about my detachment or anxiety or intrusive thoughts. I often feel like I'm only 50% "there" when I'm talking to someone or completing a task. The other half of me is stuck in this internal dialogue with myself, constantly checking to see if my emotions have come back or thinking of something else to worry about.
- At the beginning of my DP, I had a total loss of my sense of self. I questioned who I was and convinced myself I was a horrible person. I couldn't tell you what I liked or disliked because I no longer had access to the emotions that would guide me to those preferences. I felt like I lost touch with all of my core beliefs and questioned life itself. Which leads me to my next point.
- A completely new look on life and death. I used to be terrified of dying. Before the DP, if you asked me if I had the chance to be immortal if I'd take it, I might have genuinely considered it. I loved being alive. I loved living. I loved life itself. After the DP, I realized there might be something much worse than death... living the rest of my life feeling essentially like a hybrid between a zombie and a robot, emotionally speaking. Most days, I would be completely fine being told I only had x amount of days left to live. I've contemplated suicide many times- more from a curious standpoint than from a place of desperation. I no longer fear death. In fact, I can't imagine many things worse than DP and I can't imagine death as being anything other than a wonderful release from what feels like a living nightmare, a personal hell if you will. To quote something I saw on Twitter once, "I'm not saying I look forward to death, but when she does come for me, do not be surprised if you hear a sigh of relief."
- A loss of appetite, for the most part. This comes in waves but usually I have trouble eating anything until around dinnertime. I used to eat 3 meals a day and snack in between, but ever since the DP I've had appetite issues. At the onset of my DP, I dropped about 10 pounds in two weeks because I couldn't eat any solid food- my anxiety was so high I would get nauseous if I attempted to eat anything.
- Anxiety. I used to think I was an anxious person before the DP and I truly laugh at that thought now. I've spent weeks on end with my stomach in knots and my thoughts racing in circles. I often feel a sense of impending doom, as if something horrible is going to happen at any moment... even when I logically know everything is fine and I am safe. It's gotten to the point where I'm anxious about my anxiety, and I worry about when it will hit me or come back around.
- Sleep problems. In the beginning of my DP, I was having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I used to fall asleep relatively quickly, but since the DP it can take me almost an hour to fall asleep at times. I almost never feel genuinely tired. Even late at night I have to make the decision to lie down and attempt to fall asleep- my body doesn't give me cues like heavy eyes or yawning to let me know I'm tired. I can't nap during the day and the only time I'm able to doze is when I'm in the car, but only for about 10-15 minutes at most. I sleep better now than I did in the beginning, usually around 10 hours a night if I'm lucky, but I wake up anywhere from 4-8 times during the night and through the morning.
- Vivid dreams. I can always remember at least 2 of my dreams in the morning, although usually I remember many more. There have been nights where I've remembered 4 or 5 dreams that I had, and I can remember the dreams days, weeks or months later. I don't usually have nightmares, but I often have unpleasant dreams- about people or things I'd rather not be dreaming about. Like I mentioned, the dreams stay with me which can be anxiety inducing or unsettling at times.
I don't have trouble recognizing myself in the mirror, or looking down at my body parts and feeling as if they belong to someone else. While I feel like I'm in "autopilot mode", I don't feel as if someone else is controlling my speech or actions. I also don't suffer from derealization at all that I know of. Things look, more or less, the same to me as they always have. No 2D surroundings or distortions that I can tell.
- Someone else said this, and I'm just quoting it here because I felt it was eloquently put: "One metaphor for one aspect is a transparent, or translucent, barrier between me and the world. I can see through it, and I can remember what life was like on the other side, but I can't penetrate it." - dalailama15
- I often feel like an outsider watching the rest of the world be engaged and present in their lives while I am constantly aware of the fact that I'm unable to embody that type of presence in mine.
- I struggle with time quite a lot. I'm never able to discern how much time has passed, sometimes it passes very quickly and other times it drags on. I also feel like things that happened two or three days ago happened weeks ago.
- Along with issues with time, my memory is pretty bad (not that it was great before DP). I struggle to remember what I did a few days ago as the days seem to blend in to one another (I attribute this to the fact that my mind-state never changes so no matter where I am or what I'm doing everything feels exactly the same).
- I have absolutely no emotions. I don't feel happiness, love, or excitement but I also don't experience anger or sadness or grief. I look at my family, boyfriend and friends and I no longer feel that emotional connection. I am able to cry, but I experience this intellectually. In the past, I would be sad or angry and as a result I would cry. Now, when I'm in therapy and I start crying, I only deduce that I must be sad because there are tears on my cheeks. I feel absolutely no connection to the tears and no relief after I'm done crying. I can feel anxiety/guilt/dread but I attribute this to my next symptom.
- Intrusive/Obsessive thoughts. I often get very fixated on an intrusive thought and can spend an entire day anxious because I'm circling around and around the thought. I believe this happens because I'm extremely detached from my emotions so I have a hard time knowing how I feel about things/people/events and therefore have a hard time trusting myself. This makes me question everything and never really reach a conclusion. My therapist believes these thoughts are a way for my mind to attempt to gain some semblance of control over a situation that is ultimately out of my hands and over my head. Rationalization doesn't work and the only thing I can really do to aid this is distract myself as best as I can.
- Racing heart-rate from time to time. Ever since the onset of my DP, I've noticed my heart rate is much higher than I believe it was beforehand. (Note that I never paid much attention to my heart-rate before DP as I could never feel it or see it thumping in my chest as I can now.)
- Lack of imagination. In the book, "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, he discusses how trauma impacts a survivor's ability to imagine a different future for themselves outside of their currently reality (often in reference to their PTSD). I mention this book because my DP was due to trauma and van der Kolk provided a lot of insight into what I am dealing with/going through. I can no longer daydream. I have absolutely no imagination, and I used to be a very avid daydreamer- when I was driving, when I was spacing out in class, when I would go for walks, etc.
- A complete and total disinterest in life in general. Things don't mean anything to me anymore. The hobbies I used to have no longer bring me pleasure. I have a hard time setting goals or focusing on the future because I just don't care about anything. I have no access to feelings like ambition, determination or drive. When I accomplish tasks, I no longer have a sense of pride about them. I used to be a chronic over-achiever. I graduated college with honors all while working 2 jobs. I was constantly on top of to-do lists and a pretty productive person overall. Now, it's hard for me to see a point in doing anything. Everything feels like it requires so much effort and because I don't get any personal satisfaction from anything, I do much less.
- A complete inability to be fully present, ever. No matter what I'm doing, my mind is always going. I'm constantly trapped in my internal world, worrying about my detachment or anxiety or intrusive thoughts. I often feel like I'm only 50% "there" when I'm talking to someone or completing a task. The other half of me is stuck in this internal dialogue with myself, constantly checking to see if my emotions have come back or thinking of something else to worry about.
- At the beginning of my DP, I had a total loss of my sense of self. I questioned who I was and convinced myself I was a horrible person. I couldn't tell you what I liked or disliked because I no longer had access to the emotions that would guide me to those preferences. I felt like I lost touch with all of my core beliefs and questioned life itself. Which leads me to my next point.
- A completely new look on life and death. I used to be terrified of dying. Before the DP, if you asked me if I had the chance to be immortal if I'd take it, I might have genuinely considered it. I loved being alive. I loved living. I loved life itself. After the DP, I realized there might be something much worse than death... living the rest of my life feeling essentially like a hybrid between a zombie and a robot, emotionally speaking. Most days, I would be completely fine being told I only had x amount of days left to live. I've contemplated suicide many times- more from a curious standpoint than from a place of desperation. I no longer fear death. In fact, I can't imagine many things worse than DP and I can't imagine death as being anything other than a wonderful release from what feels like a living nightmare, a personal hell if you will. To quote something I saw on Twitter once, "I'm not saying I look forward to death, but when she does come for me, do not be surprised if you hear a sigh of relief."
- A loss of appetite, for the most part. This comes in waves but usually I have trouble eating anything until around dinnertime. I used to eat 3 meals a day and snack in between, but ever since the DP I've had appetite issues. At the onset of my DP, I dropped about 10 pounds in two weeks because I couldn't eat any solid food- my anxiety was so high I would get nauseous if I attempted to eat anything.
- Anxiety. I used to think I was an anxious person before the DP and I truly laugh at that thought now. I've spent weeks on end with my stomach in knots and my thoughts racing in circles. I often feel a sense of impending doom, as if something horrible is going to happen at any moment... even when I logically know everything is fine and I am safe. It's gotten to the point where I'm anxious about my anxiety, and I worry about when it will hit me or come back around.
- Sleep problems. In the beginning of my DP, I was having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I used to fall asleep relatively quickly, but since the DP it can take me almost an hour to fall asleep at times. I almost never feel genuinely tired. Even late at night I have to make the decision to lie down and attempt to fall asleep- my body doesn't give me cues like heavy eyes or yawning to let me know I'm tired. I can't nap during the day and the only time I'm able to doze is when I'm in the car, but only for about 10-15 minutes at most. I sleep better now than I did in the beginning, usually around 10 hours a night if I'm lucky, but I wake up anywhere from 4-8 times during the night and through the morning.
- Vivid dreams. I can always remember at least 2 of my dreams in the morning, although usually I remember many more. There have been nights where I've remembered 4 or 5 dreams that I had, and I can remember the dreams days, weeks or months later. I don't usually have nightmares, but I often have unpleasant dreams- about people or things I'd rather not be dreaming about. Like I mentioned, the dreams stay with me which can be anxiety inducing or unsettling at times.
I don't have trouble recognizing myself in the mirror, or looking down at my body parts and feeling as if they belong to someone else. While I feel like I'm in "autopilot mode", I don't feel as if someone else is controlling my speech or actions. I also don't suffer from derealization at all that I know of. Things look, more or less, the same to me as they always have. No 2D surroundings or distortions that I can tell.
>blanking out when ive been doing anything (blank out randomly while out of the house, studying, walking home, walking from the bus stop, to the bus stop, in the midst of conversation, with friends, watching or reading things[i have to re-watch or re-read it multiple times to actually understand what it is i'm reading, but i love reading so i deal with it], literally anything else) and going on autopilot(giving a reaction but not remembering hearing, seeing, or saying anything)
absolutely terrible memory (thinking ive done something(ie. assignments, something someone told me to do, something i wanted to do, showering, daily things)
heart palpitations (not sure if this is connected to it but i think it is)
not feeling anything at all, feeling very disconnected from my body(such as right now as i type it doesnt look like its my own hands)
not recognising myself(i force myself in an effort to look at myself in the mirror, and when i'm aware of how i dont recognise myself i freak out, but i mostly just feel the alienation from my body but i dont like looking at myself)
not recognising those around me(ive pushed a s/o away out of nowhere, ill physically uncomfortable when i remember i dont recognise anyone)
right before i (non intentional)disconnect emotionally ive noticed that i get blinded almost from blood pressure n hurt/anger and lash out somehow or way
i constantly lose my train of thought when speaking, to combat this ive gotten in the habit of writing down things i want to remember
i first self harmed in 9th grade but i stopped it since it didnt help my overwhelming emotion that would come all at once, since then the most i do is punching but i think it helps me especially since it reminds me my hands are attached to me becuase of the pain
i have a personality thats my "autopilot" but i'm not going to say i have two personalities, maybe just two modes
absolutely terrible memory (thinking ive done something(ie. assignments, something someone told me to do, something i wanted to do, showering, daily things)
heart palpitations (not sure if this is connected to it but i think it is)
not feeling anything at all, feeling very disconnected from my body(such as right now as i type it doesnt look like its my own hands)
not recognising myself(i force myself in an effort to look at myself in the mirror, and when i'm aware of how i dont recognise myself i freak out, but i mostly just feel the alienation from my body but i dont like looking at myself)
not recognising those around me(ive pushed a s/o away out of nowhere, ill physically uncomfortable when i remember i dont recognise anyone)
right before i (non intentional)disconnect emotionally ive noticed that i get blinded almost from blood pressure n hurt/anger and lash out somehow or way
i constantly lose my train of thought when speaking, to combat this ive gotten in the habit of writing down things i want to remember
i first self harmed in 9th grade but i stopped it since it didnt help my overwhelming emotion that would come all at once, since then the most i do is punching but i think it helps me especially since it reminds me my hands are attached to me becuase of the pain
i have a personality thats my "autopilot" but i'm not going to say i have two personalities, maybe just two modes
Joined
·
1 Posts
I have been suffering from this for three years now, I don't know how I am still able to function, I just get on with my day.. I never know how I feel or what to say to others when they ask me a question so I make up an answer. It feels like the real you just won't come out. For me the worst is having a blank mind.. I went from having an OCD overthinking mind to the complete opposite. I want to enjoy laying in the bath and laying in comfy sheets, patting my dog with perfect sensations in response to stimuli. I see that dotty stuff in my vision, and I see flashes of objects and light when I look around. The first thing I noticed was my hands, I was like who's hands are these? Woah like who am I? I couldn't ask myself either because my mind was and is still blank. I dont have the classic standing in the mirror for hours sign. I do however convince myself everything is normal to make myself feel better and I also tell myself I have improved since it started, which has got to be right, or else what's the point of having it for so long..I diagnosed myself... my psychiatrist says it's just anxiety. I will try to get diagnosed though, I have hope. I want to try TMS at the clinic I go to. I wonder how I come across to others all the time...
My symptoms
No feelings
Can't connect with others
People look very lifeless and ugly
Sense of disconnection from society
Blank mind
Visual disturbances
My symptoms
No feelings
Can't connect with others
People look very lifeless and ugly
Sense of disconnection from society
Blank mind
Visual disturbances
Joined
·
2 Posts
Hello I know it sounds weird but i saw your comment back in 2012 and i just wanted to talk to cause i am experiencing this feeling a lot .
Joined
·
2 Posts
It feels like I'm a alien to myself. I totally resonate with some people on here and their experiences. It feels like am seing myself through the eyes of someone else though I'm not. Days and weeks can go past and I don't even notice. Time doesn't seem to affect me in any way. I feel like a robot constantly with no emotions or feeling. I just can't connect with anything or anybody. Everything feels so unreal. It's all a dream. My eyes look dead when I look in the mirror. My mind says to me that I don't recognize myself and I start to get afraid. Even as I write this reply it feels as if someone else is typing the reply in and am observing my thoughts getting translated onto this as a type. This is the experience for me and it ain't nice. The only feelings I feel are constant anxiety and fear, that's it. Does any one understand?
When I speak I feel like my voice is coming from somewhere far away. I just don't even feel like I am human. People seems far away. My face goes blank and I stare into space a lot. My mind is constantly busy and I zone out a lot. I get weird physical sensations on top of that. My eyes blur and go out of focus, my hearing is bad, I get tingling in my face and my body feels numb like I am standing outside of it. I am somewhere between being highly sensitive and feeling totally numb all the time. It can be hard to relate to other people because they seem so alive and vibrant where I feel dead inside and disengaged from the world.
I have had these symptoms in some form for almost 12 years now. They were miss diagnosed as PTSD and I am only recently beginning to learn about DP/DR.
I have had these symptoms in some form for almost 12 years now. They were miss diagnosed as PTSD and I am only recently beginning to learn about DP/DR.
Joined
·
24 Posts
i only have dr but its foggy dettatchment to the point where i cant connect the dots of anything
Joined
·
1 Posts
I was diagnosed about 6 months ago now and began medication 5 monthd ago. I have had very small episodes before but around october had a breakdown which caused some severe dp/dr to start that i was in and out of emergency for. I could tell if i was awake or dreaming and nothing felt real. Since medication its gotten better but it still is there constantly
941 - 960 of 970 Posts
