I find disconnection from others to be a blessing and don't get too concerned about paranoia so long as it's not delusional, but everyone is different. Preoccupation with abandonment or rejection is common though not everyone experiences it all the time or to the same degree. That's cool you're able to recognize how alienating psychosis can be and that you don't want that for yourself. I imagine there'd still be hope for you even if you had schizophrenia. I watch a lot of videos about disabled people and how they deserve quality of life same as anyone else.Yes that's true. But maybe banal isn't the word I meant. I mean also that I can have the fear of being rejected for being different, or for having thoughts that I believe will not be accepted by others because they are too "abnormal", but perhaps what helped me was to realize that a lot of people have these thoughts too, that the fear of being rejected is very common and quite basic in humans, so this thoughts actually kind of make me very normal and very similar to others rather than different. So perhapsnthat kind of modified the logic to ease my fear of rejection.
I don't know how common it is for this to be related to the fear of rejection. I don't know of it's the same for others. But I know that even when I was afraid of becoming schizophrenic, I was more afraid to lose contact with reality and with others than afraid of bad symptoms. I was more afraid that nobody would be able to relate with my thoughts and I wouldn't be able to share them with anyone, nobody would understand them. That's what is behind the fear of becoming crazy for me, I think.
Perhaps it's the same for many and it would explain people's need to find other people who relate with each of their symptoms. What is defined as crazy or what isn't doesn't matter so much as is this relatable or not, do some others feel like this too.
For impulse phobia there is also the fear of hurting others very often though, or oneself, and not simply anything that could lead to rejection.