[Dragoon909]

I get these thoughts I'm dead, but I know if I really was...I'd have no reflection in the mirror.
It's the disconnection from emotions that makes me think this way, I know.

You ever get strange thoughts?

I'm not so sure I would call them delusions.

What are some of your strange thoughts?

 

[Aridity]

I have had thoughts of cutting off my dick and limbs, pretty scary. And many more

 

[Samzone]

Delusions are when you firmly believe something with no logical cause and plenty of evidence against it. Notice that you have to be believing it strongly for it to be classified as a delusion, which you obviously don't.
Rest assured you are not going crazy.


I have noticed that I often get this strange pressure sensation behind my lower forehead, just behind the nose bone. I got this sensation too last time I had dp/dr 3 years ago as I was healing. I figured its the part of my brain that was shut off due to dp/dr that is slowly turning on again?? It usually happens when I manage to calm myself and my mind. Its pretty terrifying actually and I often worry its a tumor or something, but since it was the exact same thing 3 years ago, I figured it can't be dangerous. At least I hope so....

 

[Dragoon909]

Delusions are when you firmly believe something with no logical cause and plenty of evidence against it. Notice that you have to be believing it strongly for it to be classified as a delusion, which you obviously don't.
Rest assured you are not going crazy.


I have noticed that I often get this strange pressure sensation behind my lower forehead, just behind the nose bone. I got this sensation too last time I had dp/dr 3 years ago as I was healing. I figured its the part of my brain that was shut off due to dp/dr that is slowly turning on again?? It usually happens when I manage to calm myself and my mind. Its pretty terrifying actually and I often worry its a tumor or something, but since it was the exact same thing 3 years ago, I figured it can't be dangerous. At least I hope so....

Yeah I get a pressure on my left side of the head: almost as if it's lower occipital area.

 

[Trith]

Yeah I get a pressure on my left side of the head: almost as if it's lower occipital area.

Asymmetrical headache can be a symptom of serotoninergic migraine. I'm not sure what this implies though.

 

[leminaseri]

Asymmetrical headache can be a symptom of serotoninergic migraine. I'm not sure what this implies though.

i get that a lot as well. just the left side of my head hurts

 

[Trith]

i get that a lot as well. just the left side of my head hurts

Me too sometimes actually. It's not very bad in my case though. And when I have it I also have some light and or sound sensitivity. I have it when I have slept a lot (or too little sometimes) or when I have had an emotionally uncomfortable situation that has lasted too long.

 

[NoDevils]

These thoughts you've shared are illogical and somewhat bizarre, perhaps proto-delusions, but you describe bringing your self back to reality by challenging them. I'm sure most of us in here at DPSH can relate. I've wondered if I was in a coma dream. Experiencing depersonalization is trippy and the brain can come up with peculiar theories for why it's happening. The difference between this paranoia and a full blown psychosis is the ability to distinguish between imaginary and real. In depersonalization this ability can become strained but it usually stays intact. Some people wear down this faculty with drugs.

 

[NoDevils]

I have had thoughts of cutting off my dick and limbs, pretty scary. And many more

This reminds me of mothers who get intrusive thoughts to kill their babies. Most people with these thoughts never come close to acting them out.

 

[Trith]

This reminds me of mothers who get intrusive thoughts to kill their babies. Most people with these thoughts never come close to acting them out.

I sometimes have them too (impulse phobia). I regard them as something normal, a little annoying but ok. It's actually as annoying as the time I spend thinking about them. If I move on quickly they are fine and maybe I have less of them. It's usually the thought of killing people or killing myself in different situations, or rape or incest or sexual assault towards men (why not), or the thought that someone could easily kill me. I won't go into details because it could feed someone's obsessions, but sometimes it's like a free instant horror movie, very graphic. But I'm relatively ok with horror movies. I know I will never do these things even if it gives me a little adrenaline rush when the thought happens.

 

[NoDevils]

I sometimes have them too (impulse phobia). I regard them as something normal, a little annoying but ok. It's actually as annoying as the time I spend thinking about them. If I move on quickly they are fine and maybe I have less of them. It's usually the thought of killing people or killing myself in different situations, or rape or incest or sexual assault towards men (why not), or the thought that someone could easily kill me. I won't go into details because it could feed someone's obsessions, but sometimes it's like a free instant horror movie, very graphic. But I'm relatively ok with horror movies. I know I will never do these things even if it gives me a little adrenaline rush when the thought happens.

I guess these are called "intrusive thoughts" in English. When I was a child I had impulses to do gruesome violence, but I've never physically harmed a human or animal in my life. I guess that's the self control most people have. Apparently there are people who get satisfaction from getting in physical fights but they're able to restrain themselves. I guess the emotional character of the fantasy is what makes it a "fantasy" versus an intrusive thought or phobia. Sometimes the violent thoughts were entertaining and other times they caused me distress.

 

[Dragoon909]

These thoughts you've shared are illogical and somewhat bizarre, perhaps proto-delusions, but you describe bringing your self back to reality by challenging them. I'm sure most of us in here at DPSH can relate. I've wondered if I was in a coma dream. Experiencing depersonalization is trippy and the brain can come up with peculiar theories for why it's happening. The difference between this paranoia and a full blown psychosis is the ability to distinguish between imaginary and real. In depersonalization this ability can become strained but it usually stays intact. Some people wear down this faculty with drugs.

Yeah, my mind can think up odd stuff.

Sometimes I feel the sky is a dome.
Ask if I'm dead or alive.
Feel like i'm in some biblical story.

And the list of "fucked up" thoughts go on.

But I know intellectually the reason for these bizarre thoughts is because I have no emotions.

I also have no sense of time, and my memories seem so distant. It's like...which way do they flow?

I'm going on 8 weeks of this! Hardly any let up. I can cry sometimes and laugh, but other than that...numb.

It can get rather tiring.

I've even woke up from dreams, feeling like I'm still in it.

 

[NoDevils]

Yeah, my mind can think up odd stuff.

Sometimes I feel the sky is a dome.
Ask if I'm dead or alive.
Feel like i'm in some biblical story.

And the list of "fucked up" thoughts go on.

But I know intellectually the reason for these bizarre thoughts is because I have no emotions.

I also have no sense of time, and my memories seem so distant. It's like...which way do they flow?

I'm going on 8 weeks of this! Hardly any let up. I can cry sometimes and laugh, but other than that...numb.

It can get rather tiring.

I've even woke up from dreams, feeling like I'm still in it.

Are you saying you've had depersonalization for eight weeks? How long have you had these strange thoughts? It's much more important to stay trained to reality than it is to find a "reason" why you're feeling odd. The brain is a complicated organ and our current scientific understanding is impressive but feeble. If you're theorizing that there's biblical reasons for what you're feeling I'd say that's proof you're stumped, so welcome to the club. Take care of yourself.

 

[Dragoon909]

Are you saying you've had depersonalization for eight weeks? How long have you had these strange thoughts? It's much more important to stay trained to reality than it is to find a "reason" why you're feeling odd. The brain is a complicated organ and our current scientific understanding is impressive but feeble. If you're theorizing that there's biblical reasons for what you're feeling I'd say that's proof you're stumped, so welcome to the club. Take care of yourself.

Yes I've had it 8 weeks.

Is it normal to think up strange things?

Do I think it's biblical?
Idk...

I had some major stress before this. I have to believe that's the reason.

 

[NoDevils]

Yes I've had it 8 weeks.

Is it normal to think up strange things?

Do I think it's biblical?
Idk...

I had some major stress before this. I have to believe that's the reason.

Humans ascribe reasons to things that are just natural processes. This can be adaptive or maladaptive, and who am I to say? But saying maybe I'm dead or maybe time is going in different directions is a bit nonsensical. Many of us with depersonalization have done this but like I said it's good to stay tethered to reality.

 

[Trith]

I guess these are called "intrusive thoughts" in English. When I was a child I had impulses to do gruesome violence, but I've never physically harmed a human or animal in my life. I guess that's the self control most people have. Apparently there are people who get satisfaction from getting in physical fights but they're able to restrain themselves. I guess the emotional character of the fantasy is what makes it a "fantasy" versus an intrusive thought or phobia. Sometimes the violent thoughts were entertaining and other times they caused me distress.

Impulse phobia is also English, it's the fear of acting out some intrusive thoughts I think. And I don't think intrusive thoughts themselves are necessarily about doing something.

Edit: for me it was just the thought that I could easily do it if I wanted to. And somehow the question "what if I did it right now out of impulse?". Perhaps it's about the fear that my own thoughts make me too different from other people and would cause me to be rejected if people knew about them. Too strange/different/crazy. But paradoxically intrusive thoughts and impulse phobia are very banal.

 

[NoDevils]

Impulse phobia is also English, it's the fear of acting out some intrusive thoughts I think. And I don't think intrusive thoughts themselves are necessarily about doing something.

Edit: for me it was just the thought that I could easily do it if I wanted to. And somehow the question "what if I did it right now out of impulse?". Perhaps it's about the fear that my own thoughts make me too different from other people and would cause me to be rejected if people knew about them. Too strange/different/crazy. But paradoxically intrusive thoughts and impulse phobia are very banal.

A few people will have averse reactions but I agree most will find it boring. I think these thoughts are disturbing when they're distressing and conflict with a person's sense of self. For example I saw an interview of a woman whose OCD makes her constantly question her sexuality.

 

[Trith]

A few people will have averse reactions but I agree most will find it boring. I think these thoughts are disturbing when they're distressing and conflict with a person's sense of self. For example I saw an interview of a woman whose OCD makes her constantly question her sexuality.

Yes that's true. But maybe banal isn't the word I meant. I mean also that I can have the fear of being rejected for being different, or for having thoughts that I believe will not be accepted by others because they are too "abnormal", but perhaps what helped me was to realize that a lot of people have these thoughts too, that the fear of being rejected is very common and quite basic in humans, so this thoughts actually kind of make me very normal and very similar to others rather than different. So perhapsnthat kind of modified the logic to ease my fear of rejection.
I don't know how common it is for this to be related to the fear of rejection. I don't know of it's the same for others. But I know that even when I was afraid of becoming schizophrenic, I was more afraid to lose contact with reality and with others than afraid of bad symptoms. I was more afraid that nobody would be able to relate with my thoughts and I wouldn't be able to share them with anyone, nobody would understand them. That's what is behind the fear of becoming crazy for me, I think.
Perhaps it's the same for many and it would explain people's need to find other people who relate with each of their symptoms. What is defined as crazy or what isn't doesn't matter so much as is this relatable or not, do some others feel like this too.
For impulse phobia there is also the fear of hurting others very often though, or oneself, and not simply anything that could lead to rejection.

 

[nocturnalman]

I get these thoughts I'm dead, but I know if I really was...I'd have no reflection in the mirror.
It's the disconnection from emotions that makes me think this way, I know.

You ever get strange thoughts?

I'm not so sure I would call them delusions.

What are some of your strange thoughts?

Read about Cotards delusion.Most people with this condition also have dpdr.Maybe they share a neuronal mechanism.

 

[Dragoon909]

Humans ascribe reasons to things that are just natural processes. This can be adaptive or maladaptive, and who am I to say? But saying maybe I'm dead or maybe time is going in different directions is a bit nonsensical. Many of us with depersonalization have done this but like I said it's good to stay tethered to reality.

Intellectually, I know it's nonsensical.
The depersonalization puts up a good debate though.

I know realistically I'm not dead, because I have reflection in the mirror and shadow by the sun lol.

I just can't connect to it.