I really want to recover but I'm not sure if I'm recovering now or if the DP and dr are getting worse. It's almost as if I'm depersonalising from the depersonalisation. Am I doing that? Or am I entering finally the real mind set and thinking that having depersonalisation was weird ? :S
What are the signs of recovery?
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You are recovered when you are recovered. As simple as that. It doesn't matter if your symptoms are worse, you could still be recovering.
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you'll know you're recovered when the majority of your thoughts are those pertaining your immediate surroundings/or what you used to think about rather than thoughts about DP (philosophical, existential, anxious, putting you down thoughts). You'll also just simply, FEEL more like yourself. It's a feeling I think you'll recognize 
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Yeah, you'll know. Your mind will be clear, you'll realise that for the last x amount of hours, days or weeks that you have been taking about, relating to and getting excited about the most human of things. It's beautiful, and the dp/dr comes and goes, for me anyways.
I'm not out of the woods, but it sure feels to me like I'm nearing the edge of the forest, but who knows.
I'm not out of the woods, but it sure feels to me like I'm nearing the edge of the forest, but who knows.
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84 Posts
Can please expand on this because i had about 2 weeks where i started proggesivly getting better...then i started getting vivid dreams again and panic attacks but thats been for a week and now i feel like half way lucid so idk if thats good lol
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From my own experience, I would say that anxiety keep taking an other form... DP/DR fluctuate, the symptoms you have change often, and that's a sign that the anxiety you have is changing as well. So it's always an improvment that your symptoms are changing in my own, that's the proof that the anxiety is trying to find another way to express itself because it is slowly dying. Kinda hard to explain... I hope you understand what I mean.
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Very encouraging words...thank you I feel like im in the last stages...or at least I hope...becauseI feel like im here and ive regained my natural bodily functions but I still get strong confusion upon waking up and just feeling slightly automatic/lucid but not quite in full control yet
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I like this alot...makes sense that anxiety would try and change forms before fully fading away in attempt to keep the victim under it's spell..
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I'm not recovered, but the times when DP and especially DR affect me the worst are at work, and in the past few months I've had no DR attacks, and typically I would by 4-6 hours at work, and I work 10 hour shifts now.
My problem is about me now, not DP, and it's sometimes even engaging to know that I'm fixing my old anxieties from even before DP, even if they are now amplified from the anxiety. In many ways those obstrusive symptoms have made it easier to accept and change them. This includes the acceptance that my "new" symptoms since DP are really old issues that I can no longer repress. I've embraced this and over a very long time integrated that acceptance into my sense of self.
I've gotten to the point that I see most things that trigger my DP and anxiety. For example I was completely fine moments ago, but during the above paragraph my perfectionism noticed that at first the paragraph was disorganized and could have been written much better. Anxiety sparked -> DR became noticeable.
And I'm slowly arriving at a point where that realization doesn't make me angry with myself, and I can almost laugh it off, especially if I'm in a positive place. Speaking of which, I'm sometimes in positive places, they are tied to nothing superficial, for example in myself I may have been "happy" for prolonged periods of time because I'd convinced myself through some thought or achievement that I was superior to others. Nowadays, sometimes, I'll have a natural, unforced sense of general gratitude. I had one this morning, and I spent an hour making a snowman, something which is nearly always not worthy of my time that I ordinarily spend trying to improve myself.
A year ago I was too ashamed to admit I had DP, an obstacle hindering connecting with people. Now enough anxiety is gone that I can somewhat nonchalantly admit, eye to eye, that I have trouble connecting and that, if I see fit, I have a dissociate disorder.
I avoid people less or awkwardly and evasively say things like "I'm weird". I supply real answers to who I am now. But I also accept who I am, which is someone who doesn't like tons of social contact. But I do like feeling connected to my community.
I've done this by integrating via writing exercises a la Harris Harrington.
My problem is about me now, not DP, and it's sometimes even engaging to know that I'm fixing my old anxieties from even before DP, even if they are now amplified from the anxiety. In many ways those obstrusive symptoms have made it easier to accept and change them. This includes the acceptance that my "new" symptoms since DP are really old issues that I can no longer repress. I've embraced this and over a very long time integrated that acceptance into my sense of self.
I've gotten to the point that I see most things that trigger my DP and anxiety. For example I was completely fine moments ago, but during the above paragraph my perfectionism noticed that at first the paragraph was disorganized and could have been written much better. Anxiety sparked -> DR became noticeable.
And I'm slowly arriving at a point where that realization doesn't make me angry with myself, and I can almost laugh it off, especially if I'm in a positive place. Speaking of which, I'm sometimes in positive places, they are tied to nothing superficial, for example in myself I may have been "happy" for prolonged periods of time because I'd convinced myself through some thought or achievement that I was superior to others. Nowadays, sometimes, I'll have a natural, unforced sense of general gratitude. I had one this morning, and I spent an hour making a snowman, something which is nearly always not worthy of my time that I ordinarily spend trying to improve myself.
A year ago I was too ashamed to admit I had DP, an obstacle hindering connecting with people. Now enough anxiety is gone that I can somewhat nonchalantly admit, eye to eye, that I have trouble connecting and that, if I see fit, I have a dissociate disorder.
I avoid people less or awkwardly and evasively say things like "I'm weird". I supply real answers to who I am now. But I also accept who I am, which is someone who doesn't like tons of social contact. But I do like feeling connected to my community.
I've done this by integrating via writing exercises a la Harris Harrington.
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44 Posts
I think I am on the road to recovery because I basically did a 180. I see this as a good sign.
I've had DP for four months, now. The first three months were mostly just derealization. My environment looked warped, things looked 2D, it looked like a glass lense was in front of everything I was seeing, everything was blurry, out of focus, bla bla... horrible stuff.
Then, my vision shifted into 3D but things were still blurry and hazy and depth perception and the way the light hit things looked different than before DP. But they no longer looked too 'unreal' or bizarre. It sort of feels like my brain is trying to re-focus on everything around me.
Now, my vision is slowly becoming less and less blurry and it feels like my brain is trying so hard to focus on everything without it being blurry, out of whack, and hazy looking.
In fact. my vision got a lot better. Things still look weird but I'd say they are like 10 - 15% away from looking normal. I can't wait for this dreadful out-of-focus and brain fatigue sensation to be gone. It feels like my brain has been looking through a foggy mosaic glass for four months and now it's returning things slowly back into focus, and, it's just having an issue with adjusting to everything 100%. I guess it's a sign of recovery but may take another month, two, or three.
In certain lighting situations, I feel 5 - 10% away from being normal. When the lights are dim, my brain feels like it doesn't have to focus on too much so it cools off a bit. Then, I go into Wal Mart, where it's really freaking bright and there are hundreds of things on the shelves and my brain goes "Really? You're making me look at all this stimulating crap?!"
So... I guess when you feel 5 - 10% away from being normal, it's a good sign. My problem is that my issue has always been DR more than DP. Now that my DR is going down and my reality and the world is slowly coming back into focus, I now am having more DP... -_- In fact, now that my DR is going SO well, the DP has decided to come in and become the more dominant of the two.
I don't know if that could be a sign or not, but, I imagine that flip flopping between the two is normal. Today, though, I did an epsom salt magnesium foot soak for almost an hour and I felt so blissfully happy, had clarity, and felt so giddy and full of joy. Lasted... a whole two hours. So, another sign of recovery is when you can feel like yourself, if only for a little bit.
Being tired and fatigued sometimes tricks me into thinking my DP/DR got worse. In reality, I always got loopy and out of it when really sleepy, even when I did have DP/DR. I keep reminding myself that it's normal to feel out of whack when tired and staying up late to get something done or finished. With DP, though, being tired, for me, feels so much worse than feeling tired did before this madness. So, I highly recommend sleeping before your brain becomes too tired, because, one thing that really put a damper on me recovering sooner are the times when I got very tired, loopy, and out of whack, and started having panic attacks and thoughts that my DP/DR got much worse, when, in reality, it was just the already present DP + the tiredness...
I've had DP for four months, now. The first three months were mostly just derealization. My environment looked warped, things looked 2D, it looked like a glass lense was in front of everything I was seeing, everything was blurry, out of focus, bla bla... horrible stuff.
Then, my vision shifted into 3D but things were still blurry and hazy and depth perception and the way the light hit things looked different than before DP. But they no longer looked too 'unreal' or bizarre. It sort of feels like my brain is trying to re-focus on everything around me.
Now, my vision is slowly becoming less and less blurry and it feels like my brain is trying so hard to focus on everything without it being blurry, out of whack, and hazy looking.
In fact. my vision got a lot better. Things still look weird but I'd say they are like 10 - 15% away from looking normal. I can't wait for this dreadful out-of-focus and brain fatigue sensation to be gone. It feels like my brain has been looking through a foggy mosaic glass for four months and now it's returning things slowly back into focus, and, it's just having an issue with adjusting to everything 100%. I guess it's a sign of recovery but may take another month, two, or three.
In certain lighting situations, I feel 5 - 10% away from being normal. When the lights are dim, my brain feels like it doesn't have to focus on too much so it cools off a bit. Then, I go into Wal Mart, where it's really freaking bright and there are hundreds of things on the shelves and my brain goes "Really? You're making me look at all this stimulating crap?!"
So... I guess when you feel 5 - 10% away from being normal, it's a good sign. My problem is that my issue has always been DR more than DP. Now that my DR is going down and my reality and the world is slowly coming back into focus, I now am having more DP... -_- In fact, now that my DR is going SO well, the DP has decided to come in and become the more dominant of the two.
I don't know if that could be a sign or not, but, I imagine that flip flopping between the two is normal. Today, though, I did an epsom salt magnesium foot soak for almost an hour and I felt so blissfully happy, had clarity, and felt so giddy and full of joy. Lasted... a whole two hours. So, another sign of recovery is when you can feel like yourself, if only for a little bit.
Being tired and fatigued sometimes tricks me into thinking my DP/DR got worse. In reality, I always got loopy and out of it when really sleepy, even when I did have DP/DR. I keep reminding myself that it's normal to feel out of whack when tired and staying up late to get something done or finished. With DP, though, being tired, for me, feels so much worse than feeling tired did before this madness. So, I highly recommend sleeping before your brain becomes too tired, because, one thing that really put a damper on me recovering sooner are the times when I got very tired, loopy, and out of whack, and started having panic attacks and thoughts that my DP/DR got much worse, when, in reality, it was just the already present DP + the tiredness...
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