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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
well today i hung out with a friend for a few hours and we'll it felt like either i wasn't there or he wasn't there. it just really sucked kinda, i mean i tried to enjoy myself somewhat, but i wasn't talkin much, and kinda forced it, which i don't like to do, but anyways i bought tickets to this rap concert. mos def and talib kweli. i saw kweli last year when i was normal and i could expierience life and what not but now this time mite not be fun, i hope it is a little. i don't want to not enjoy myself, but i can't help it. i wish i could get out of this so i can just be myself again.
 
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word of advice, when you go to the concert try to focus all of your attention on Blackstar and whoever else is performing.

Two things have happened to me when Ive gone to concerts like this and I have been to alot since this whole mess started.

Either I focus totally on the show and feel good or I focus on myself and negative things and feel very weird.

Im probably going to go to the Blackstar show to when they come here on the 30th.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
well tonight i just played ball for the first time in like a few weeks or so and it was horrible. it felt like i wasn't doing any of it and i suck now cause of this. i can't control my body so its really hard to play. i don't know anymore, i joined a gym but i know i'll get discouraged everytime i play or workout or whatever, like if i run a while i'm even more on autopilot. like someone is telling me to walk and make any sort of movements instead of me controlling it.
 
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