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...as some of you know, my life can be a little, well, compicated from time to time. I've just experienced something that has just put the tin hat on it all....all my previous accomplishments/failures fade into insignificance in relation to what's just happened.

I'm so staggered by the total and utter utter utter utter utter absurdity of my life, that I'm want to scream in rage/euphoria, that'll I'll give you three guess at what's happened. Go on, I bet you can't guess.

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
 

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you became a moderator
 

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you've found out you're adopted and you've accidentally slept with your own sister
 

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you've found out you're adopted and you've accidentally slept with your own sister
whoa maria guessed it before (and more accurately) than I did!

Martin, why the euphoria over this? I mean I know that narcissists are obsessed with their own flesh and blood but for fucks sake, can we keep it clean here?
 

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I count five guesses so far so I won't bother with another. So, tell us what happened? Or are you just toying with us?
 

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You somehow bumped into Janine and XEPER, who were out on a date, at your local curry house. You then proceeded to meet up with that person writing an article about you in the local paper, had sex with her, then found out that she was, in fact, Sojourner. Then you got in a fist fight with John Prescott and ended up with a black eye and cancer, which you later found out was a misdiagnosis but only after you acquired an auxilliary arsehole.

Am I hot or cold?
 

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I'm taking all three guesses you offered a chance at...

1. You're ex-wife called and wants to get back up with you.

2. The girl you drunkenly had sex with last month or so is preggers. :shock:

3. They misdiagnosed you and all is well but you are so damn mad at what they have put you thru? (This would be my hope.)

I hate waiting till Monday to find out. :evil:
 

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knocked up! I never guessed that one! good one terri

monkeydust- don't you think xeper is a little too young for Janine? I mean i'm not saying Janine is OLD...i'm just saying that *I* wouldn't date an 18 year old because that seems young so being that i'm younger than janine i wouldn't think she would either...unless like she's one of those new school dating types like Demi Moore...And that's ok too really, it's the new millenium, we have all sorts of lifestyles that are O.K. Janine it's ok to date younger people! You don't have to hide it anymore! Congratulations!

GOD DAMNIT MARTIN JUST FREAKIN TELL US
 

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Come on, it's not like the 17th century anymore guys. In modern dating, it's perfectly fine to go out with someone who might be old enough to be your grandmother.

Anything's possible in 2005. I wouldn't be surprised if Martin's had a complication with the chemotherapy and is himself, in fact, pregnant. Martin's gonna have a baby!
 

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Rage/Euphoria, eh?

Must be that his tests were all wrong the whole time.

That's my prayer, anyway.

Either that or he was personally summoned by Jesus like Paul on the road to Damascus, but I doubt it, because he would have committed suicide if that happened. (Just a joke, folks.)
 

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monkeydust-

yeah but when dating with such a wide age range what are you going to tell the parents, kids, etc.? so many problems.

i hope they have this figured out.
 

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:shock: :shock: :shock:

:lol:

Monkeydust, that is hysterical and would be just about the most utterly absurd thing that could possibly happen. You win my vote for most absurd.
 

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Ok Martin you've had your fun, some of us on this board are obsessives and whilst I'm enjoying obsessing about you and your life rather than my own, I'd like to know what's happened. Please? Or are you worried you've let it build up to the point where anything you say now is going to be an anti-climax? :twisted:
 

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Does it have anything to do with intergalactic travel? Because if so, we have A LOT to talk about.

Monkeydust said:
You somehow bumped into Janine and XEPER, who were out on a date, at your local curry house. You then proceeded to meet up with that person writing an article about you in the local paper, had sex with her, then found out that she was, in fact, Sojourner. Then you got in a fist fight with John Prescott and ended up with a black eye and cancer, which you later found out was a misdiagnosis but only after you acquired an auxilliary arsehole.

Am I hot or cold?
This was going to be my second guess.

Don't keep us in the dark about this Martin. We don't want this to turn into another "Countdown" thread where everyone sits on the edge of their seats while trying to decrypt an incomprehensible poem. :roll:
 

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I just logged on and I noticed that Martin was also online. I waited to see if he would make a response but he was gone a couple of minutes later. I wonder if he is ok? And I mean that seriously.

Ignore - I just noticed his fame post..... :oops:
 
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