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Weird thoughts

1053 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Trith
Hi everyone!

I have been suffering from depersonalization for a year now. It has gotten better, except the weird thoughts that I am still having.

I have this weird thought that makes me very anxious - for me it is so weird to see life through my eyes. It is so distressing, when I think about that. I have had this thought before but over time I just forget about that. It hit me today, again.

Does anybody have these type of thoughts too and how do you cope with that, so it doesn't make life miserable for some period of time?
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Sorry you are going through that... for me some thoughts can feel like a danger to me in and of themselves. Like when I am in a strong DP episode I feel like I am not myself, that I am going crazy (even if I think I know better), that I am not going to be myself ever again, this usual stuff. And this kind of thought feel different to me than other kinds of thoughts. They feel like abysses I can fall into just by thinking about them.
In a sense, what I try to do when I have this kind of thoughts, is to remember they follow the same patter as any thought, they are not so different. Somehow, with this kind of thoughts/sensations, I automatically treat them as something real, I get invested in them, or to be more correct, when these thoughts start I am already 100% invested in them mentally. And so what I try to do is to remember that this is still following the same pattern my mind is following for any thought, like: thought/concept/switch in point of view ---- gives rise to ------> sensation .
And I try to remember it is the same mechanism as usual, except the resulting sensation is shittier.
Just like "I think about how my mother tries to guilt me when I don't pick up the phone" ---> "I get upset and defensive".
Or "I think about my colleague who judges my work" ---> "I get afraid"
Being upset and defensive, or being afraid, are sensations. And when they are triggered I don't get rid of them easily, I have to walk with them for a while, maybe an hour, a day, or a week. But they are not dangerous, they are just shitty feelings that follow me for a while.
And in my case the feeling of not being myself feels like something dangerous in and of itself, so I try to put it back in the place where it belongs, it is "just" a sensation, like fear or anger, except it feels way shittier to me. It still is a shitty as it is. But still, it is of the same nature as fear or anger.

I recently discovered that youtube channel that makes really good videos on psychology. I did finish watching this one, but so far it seems very good:

I really like the way things are explained. Maybe it would deserve its own post here. (They also have a very good video criticizing the concept of "unconsciously seeking abusive relationships").
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And yes, same here, for a short while I had something similar where I was puzzled/afraid by the question "where is the mind located?". "Why do I have a mind and how is it possible".
I suffered several severe depressive episodes over the course of my adult life. I had periods of "intrusive thoughts" in the form of unwanted suggestions such as "throw the coffee in their face", or "cross lanes and hit them head on." Stupid shit, really. But they were distressing and one wonders where the hell they come from. I made an analogy to the upset stomach and the burp. When your mind
gets stressed out and upset, the thought generator occasionally burps up something malignant. Nothing to be upset about. That would only make matters worse. I haven't had any since undergoing ECT
back in 2014. I don't miss them.
Oh yes, that's called "impulse phobia", which really is a an obsession and not a true phobia, and it's related to OCD. It can be debilitating but at least they say the risk of putting them into action is zero, it's more on the level of a battle with thoughts. The thoughts themselves are present for a lot of people but it doesn't always explodes into this kind of debilitating mental circle.
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