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Okay so, my dpdr and anxiety are not improving. And i think that my symptoms are getting weirder and weirder.
Like couple hours ago i ate some mcdonalds and i thought that it didn’t taste the same as before for some reason. And the weirdest part was that my big mac (especially the big mac sauce) almost tasted and smelled sweet? like artificial kind of sweet. First thought that i had after that was ”omg i must be psychotic, is this a taste hallucination?” etc.
Also i’ve been having some really odd thoughts about myself. Like it feels like i don’t know who i am. What i look like etc. It feels really really scary. Like today i spent some time with my brother (we really don’t look alike) and i suddenly started thinking ”what if i thought i was my brother?” ”that must be psychotic”
And ofc i know i am not my brother :D by any means, writing this down really makes me laugh but at the same time im so scared that im slipping into psychosis or something like that. Also i feel like i am not connected to my reflection. Ofc i know it’s me in the mirror but still. However if i see pictures of random people and then me, i can identify myself from those pictures etc. I also respond to my name.
But still, all of those things i mentioned above are frustrating. I don’t want to feel like this.
I just wanna feel like i’m me again. I just wanna feel normal and live a normal life doing the things that i enjoy. Is this all dpdr or something else?
 

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DP for sure bro! i’ve been having some really wierd thoughts and feelings since my anxiety started to come out i got better for a while hit a plateau then felt like i was getting way worse and i think i’m starting to come out of that now but now my anxiety is more present my thoughts are fucking wierd, also get flashes of normality which freak me out as it’s so different to what i’m experiencing
 

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It’s DP, but there might be some OCD? Since you said there was a random thought like “what if i thought I was my brother” and it bothered you? That might have been a “intrusive” thought which you had to replay a few times because you wondered why you had thought of it at all. So instead of having a thought stop you in your tracks, the ultimate goal is to just brush it off instantly. The thought doesn’t become a second thought about it. It’s just gone
 

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trith i get exactly that i think it’s my mind changing awareness between the dp and anxiety when i change to anxiety i feel more connected etc and then my dp comes in and changes my perception, just goes on and on like this all day
 

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trith i get exactly that i think it’s my mind changing awareness between the dp and anxiety when i change to anxiety i feel more connected etc and then my dp comes in and changes my perception, just goes on and on like this all day
One thing that freaked me out once, when I had my first kind of panic attack (had only two in my life, I think, not sure if it was a panic attack but I was just so afraid I could not function for 10 minutes at the peak, and just had to lay down somewhere in the street), I was freaking out about my mind that was shifting to a different state / mode depending on what I was thinking about. It felt like there was no continuity between thoughts, it felt like I was a completely different person at each thought or every time I moved my eyes. My biggest fear about that was that I would become crazy and nobody would relate to what I was experiencing, and I wouldn't be able to explain it and would only feel lonely in this feeling. And I would be the loneliest person on earth with no one able to relate. At the bottom there was a big fear of loneliness. I think this was the main fuel for all my fear of craziness. Of course this scenario can seem like an exageration but back then, it was around 2005, I was really experiencing as something real. During that panic attack I just rested and let it happen. I don't know what I did later, but I definitely don't feel this anymore. And still my mind is the same as before, my mind is still different from thought to thought, I guarantee I still have the same mind as back then. Except now the same thing feels normal and it's just a detail of my mind I don't care so much about. It feels like before it was like looking at myself through a narrow key hole and what I saw was filling the whole space and there was nothing else, and now I see it as just one detail over many things and I don't care about it at all anymore....
 
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