lately, I've noticed weird switches in my morals or views on reality, (i can categorize them into three different "states")
So the first is just plain nothing, I usually go into this "state" when I get overly worried over something and need to go to nothingness to cope, usually comes along with emotional numbness {"Nothing" or "blank state" is what I guess I'll call this state} pretty much standard DPDR but the other 2 "States" are the weird ones,
This state is kind of what I've experienced as long as I've had DPDR, This state being "Empathetic State" Its where I'm extremely over empathetic and put myself in someones own shoes to where I might as well be their IRL, the way I explained that may seem like normal but to better explain it, A while ago I was about to shower, and there was a grasshopper or some sort of bug in the tub, after getting over my guilt, I washed it down, and still felt extremely guilty about it even though I wasn't able to let it outside, I had literally put myself in the position of the grasshopper and imagined the terror, worry and confusion of it, I still feel incredibly guilty about it to this day. Alongside that, this state comes with a complete opposite of emotional numbness. The reason I connect this to my DPDR is due to while being in this state, I have an extreme disconnect from myself, while practically becoming someone else mentally for a short amount of time. The reason I said I've experienced this sense I developed DPDR is due to it most likely being developed due to second-hand trauma, along with my own trauma, but mainly second-hand, so I've always had an empathetic "trait" with DPDR due to that.
Finally, onto the last state the "Un-moral state", I haven't really experienced this one until recently, but I had seen coverage on how DPDR could make people less empathetic, which had confused me due to the last state, I also remember seeing something on either the wiki page for derealization or the page for depersonalization saying that in some war or something ages ago, the soldiers had been drugged with something that induced whatever one the article was on to make them less guilty or conscious of their actions, which had always worried me. This state usually has more aggressive or frustrated emotions and makes one (me) go to a dark mindset in which my actions don't matter or don't actually affect anybody because nothing real, so I'm not actually harming anyone, I have used it as a coping mechanism when I say something harsh or something like that, I also still don't feel like I have control of my actions during this one, which can be quiet worrying. Luckily this hasn't caused me to do anything too reckless yet.
The other strange thing is that I've been experiencing these states like someone with bipolar can go through emotions, (I definitely don't have bipolar, though my birth mom, not sure if that is too important though) Has anyone else been through something like this?
So the first is just plain nothing, I usually go into this "state" when I get overly worried over something and need to go to nothingness to cope, usually comes along with emotional numbness {"Nothing" or "blank state" is what I guess I'll call this state} pretty much standard DPDR but the other 2 "States" are the weird ones,
This state is kind of what I've experienced as long as I've had DPDR, This state being "Empathetic State" Its where I'm extremely over empathetic and put myself in someones own shoes to where I might as well be their IRL, the way I explained that may seem like normal but to better explain it, A while ago I was about to shower, and there was a grasshopper or some sort of bug in the tub, after getting over my guilt, I washed it down, and still felt extremely guilty about it even though I wasn't able to let it outside, I had literally put myself in the position of the grasshopper and imagined the terror, worry and confusion of it, I still feel incredibly guilty about it to this day. Alongside that, this state comes with a complete opposite of emotional numbness. The reason I connect this to my DPDR is due to while being in this state, I have an extreme disconnect from myself, while practically becoming someone else mentally for a short amount of time. The reason I said I've experienced this sense I developed DPDR is due to it most likely being developed due to second-hand trauma, along with my own trauma, but mainly second-hand, so I've always had an empathetic "trait" with DPDR due to that.
Finally, onto the last state the "Un-moral state", I haven't really experienced this one until recently, but I had seen coverage on how DPDR could make people less empathetic, which had confused me due to the last state, I also remember seeing something on either the wiki page for derealization or the page for depersonalization saying that in some war or something ages ago, the soldiers had been drugged with something that induced whatever one the article was on to make them less guilty or conscious of their actions, which had always worried me. This state usually has more aggressive or frustrated emotions and makes one (me) go to a dark mindset in which my actions don't matter or don't actually affect anybody because nothing real, so I'm not actually harming anyone, I have used it as a coping mechanism when I say something harsh or something like that, I also still don't feel like I have control of my actions during this one, which can be quiet worrying. Luckily this hasn't caused me to do anything too reckless yet.
The other strange thing is that I've been experiencing these states like someone with bipolar can go through emotions, (I definitely don't have bipolar, though my birth mom, not sure if that is too important though) Has anyone else been through something like this?
