[livinginhell333]

does anyone else feel weightless? i seriously feel like i weigh nothing. i'm tired of hugging my mom and not feeling it. it really bothers me. i'm tired of grabbing things and not feeling it in my hand and i'm tired of typing this and not feeling the keys and not really knowing that i am typing this because it sure doesn't feel like it. like i can feel it kinda coming back gradually, but its not really noticeable. i really can't focus at school because of this i enjoy nothing and life isn't fun anymore.

last night i was actually ok thinking positive about playing basketball when i get better and other sports and going after girls and what not, but i can't do that because i don't even feel a kiss. i'm numb in the private areas too. my whole body and skin. i just don't really understand how this could happen. i hate living like this. living like i am just not alive, because i really don't feel alive.

 

[agentcooper]

what did your doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist say about what you are going through?

 

[livinginhell333]

she said it was dp , she said it would get better but i don't see it really getting better. i'm just tired of all this pretty much. my skin is all numb and everything. i don't know anymore.

 

[agentcooper]

did she have any suggestions on how to help it get better or did she just say that it would?

i'm just curious...

 

[livinginhell333]

yea she said to try to not think about it, but its really hard when i feel like nothing and i feel like this and i can't feel my body parts. its just hard to do things.

 

[agentcooper]

how 'bout any medication...maybe you could try taking some 5-htp or st. johns wort. those are some mild seratonin boosters...you sound extremely depressed in all of your posts. did she say anything about meds?

 

[livinginhell333]

i do take an antidepressant celexa, she's getting me off that and i'm going to do therapy and start taking 5 htp at night. i took it before for a little while didn't help. i'm not really depressed. i don't have an overwhelming sadness. i'm just tired of not feeling my body and feeling anything and living in a dream. if i could feel my body i would be able to play basketball and workout more at least, but it'll come back i guess.

 

[Inflammed]

yea she said to try to not think about it, but its .

Yeah they all say that.
It's like telling to someone that is face to face with a 1000pounds Kodiak bear to not be scared and don't look at it...don't think about it. lol

 

[stickdude]

i know exactly how you feel. its so weird touching things, like it's not even me. when i see my hand touching it, it's like being a spectator looking at someone else touch it. this is REALLY bad if i get oral pleasures from a chick. it's like i can't feel a thing.

 

[livinginhell333]

thats another thing if i were to ever get oral pleasures from a girl i'm afraid it wouldn't feel good. so why do it if it doesn't feel good. i'm pretty sure i won't feel it. it used to feel so good too. man i miss those days.

pretty much i miss my life. i feel like there is no way out of this. one of the worst things for me is not feeling the emotion of love. like for my mom family or friends. i really miss that. i miss hugging my mom and not feeling it emotionally, but also physically. when i hug her it feels like i'm hugging a ghost. its horrible. i don't know if any of you guys feel this. but also when i'm on my bed it literally feels like i'm not lying on the bed its hard to enjoy anything when i don't feel like anything.

 

[Monkeydust]

Can't say that I feel much of this these days, but I know a lot of people do - and it's certainly "normal" within the ambit of the DP experience.

I think a major problem for you right now, livinghell, is that you're fixated upon how things used to be. I'm not saying this is "wrong", but it isn't helping you.

Yes things used to be better; yes they're not so good now. Yes it doesn't feel right; yes it's hard to bear.

But give a resounding no to any suspicion that it has to stay this way. It doesn't, and I doubt it will. But knowing that is not enough.

You have to "make" yourself do the stuff you enjoy anyway if want to get back to where you were. It may well feel "fake", but it's the most likely path to recovery.

Clearly what you're doing now isn't working. You need to push yourself - however hard it may be - to try and act "as if" you can feel again. Do it in small steps, by all means, but at least do something.

I hope things turn around for you soon.

 

[g-funk]

I also really battled with the symptom you describe, and weirdly thought about it today, when I was driving my car. Sometimes, when the wheel slips through my hands I get a flashback of the floaty, numb sensation and I am immediately transported back a few years when I used to get it a lot.

My brother used to say to me as a kid 'don't think about orange penguins'. Not the best thing to say to someone, who even at 5 years of age, could drive themselves virtually insane with pictures of orange penguins in their head. The more you think about the sensation, the more your mind will slip into that mode, you are already 'feeling it' before it happens. It is a lot to do with habit. And preparation for every eventuality.

It really pays to try your hardest to not focus on it. It will only get worse. Sorry, I appreciate how infuriating it is to be told it. I wish I could be more constructive!