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I've decided to stop posting every day because I don't want to feel like I need to think about the derealization every night. I'm only going to post once in a while.

My first week back was ok. The derealization was as strong as ever, but the kids really distracted me from thinking about it. Social situations feel so awkward to me, but I can feel that others don't see it that way. They have no idea what's going on in my head, while I have running thoughts about how weird I must seem. The good thing though is that nobody would know if I didn't tell them. So, I just need to get over it. I've been reading "Overcoming Personalization Disorder" and it is constantly saying that the best thing to do is to not think about the odd feeling all the time. I'm doing my best to follow the books' advice, and I do feel that when I'm distracted that I don't notice the derealization as much. It's 100% there all the time, but I'm getting used to this feeling and hoping that if it never goes away, that I can at least make it feel like a reality to me.

My fiance is amazing and lets me talk about it whenever I need to. My Principal totally understands and my staff is supportive. I feel very lucky that I'm able to go through each day with a genuine smile on my face, because I can absolutely see how a feeling like this could throw you into a deep depression. I feel lucky to have this outlook and to have these people around me. Let's see what week two at work brings to the table.
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kayseas95
Feb 25 2013 06:52 AM

Hey trust me I know EXACTLY what your going through, I had this for a year now and I just turned 17 in october, It has been the worst year of my life and I know it will be for the rest of my life, but in these last couple weeks I've been getting over it. look up sean madden on youtube i guarantee he will help you out, you just have to learn how to let it go, don't focus on anything else besides letting it go' just take 5-10 minutes to let EVERYTHING stay in the same place which means letting it go wherever it wants to go. trust me you'll feel better


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Keeks
Mar 05 2013 09:33 PM

Thanks Kayseas... I'm glad you feel like you're getting over it! I'm so glad we have a forum where we can support each other. Good luck!
 
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