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I've been recently feeling very real and in the moment. It seems IAM recovering quite a lot (almost completely there).
About a few weeks ago I dared myself to smoke weed again even though I had promised myself never to touch that again. (Weed and anxiety made me Dp)

I took moderate hits knowing fully well I wasnt prepared to dive into that high since I hadn't smoked in over a year. I got pretty high, too high. Turns out the weed I got from my cousins was straight from Cali and was quite potent.

The moment I felt I was out of it, I panicked -- again. All those bad thought came rushing in. I found myself ruminating once again on old wounds and fears and this exacerbated my bad trip. I came to my senses eventually and also the effects were slowly wearing off. The next day I woke up I was still high, the feeling I felt in that moment was very similar to how my dp first started. I felt fear again, felt lost and confused but most of all heartbroken. Did I cause my dp to come out of remission or perhaps I didn't give myself enough time to fully recover?

I was very sad...and yet I decided not to stress it again, not to think about it so much. Within a few hours, that high feeling went away and suddenly I felt almost whole again but not quite. ( I was back how I was before I smoked again)

So I smoked again the day after and every time thereafter I've been feeling more and more clear-headed.

Anxiety is really my worst enemy and I've been getting better at managing it. Even when I get high now I don't get panicky unless it's big hits.

So, is this helping me?
Can weed actually help dp suffers in recovering?
Should I continue?
 

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No, definitely not. I dont think you really get what it is like to live with DP for years. I assume it wasn't that long or severe before. If I was lucky enough to recover I would never touch it again. Not the stuff that gets you 'high' anyway. CBD is a different drug to me and acts in the opposite way. Maybe you should try a high CBD;THC ratio weed if you do, but even then it just isn't worth the gamble. Have a beer
 

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Most def. My dp started August 2017 and has been waning ever since. I peaked at 6 months. Again, my peak may have not been as severe as other people's experience. What I do know is the initial onset was the most frightening, confusing phase in my life. I was on my knees two months in thinking I should just end this misery. I'm glad I never even premeditated the idea of it. I didn't eat for days which according to my peers was a most rare sight. I've had depression before, anxiety and all the bad vibes but I always ate...boy, not that time.

Sorry to keep rambling. You're right about the experience, it was not a long time. I did supplement and used inositol extensively.
What methods have you tried and not to sound cynical but are you 100% for certain it was caused by weed?
 

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DP is a very complicated picture and we can't really be sure what causes it. But weed + panic attack is usually the cause for people. I would say there were warning signs not that I knew at the time. But getting high felt dreamy and disconnected and weird. That was a skunk high not has high. Hash high was mellow and chilled probably because of the higher CBD;THC ratio. But skunk is a lot harsher and sharper, I've said this before but it is like comparing coffee to cocaine.

I would say that you have had your warning signs and what sounds like close to another panic attack. Take these signs and please stop, You will never forgive yourself if this becomes permanent. It sounds like I am trying to scare you and to be honest I am. I wish someone had told me. It has been a very long time for me and nothing has really helped. CBD oil to some extent but this acts almost in an opposite way to THC which gets yo high.

I am sure weed was the trigger though yes, as it is for many. If you show signs of it being a trigger for you avoid it at all costs. Stress/anxiety/panic attacks are triggers for people but so are illegal drugs, antidepressants and even antibiotics. We dont know how the brain chemistry is affected but if you are at risk try and avoid these things
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
DP is a very complicated picture and we can't really be sure what causes it. But weed + panic attack is usually the cause for people. I would say there were warning signs not that I knew at the time. But getting high felt dreamy and disconnected and weird. That was a skunk high not has high. Hash high was mellow and chilled probably because of the higher CBD;THC ratio. But skunk is a lot harsher and sharper, I've said this before but it is like comparing coffee to cocaine.

I would say that you have had your warning signs and what sounds like close to another panic attack. Take these signs and please stop, You will never forgive yourself if this becomes permanent. It sounds like I am trying to scare you and to be honest I am. I wish someone had told me. It has been a very long time for me and nothing has really helped. CBD oil to some extent but this acts almost in an opposite way to THC which gets yo high.

I am sure weed was the trigger though yes, as it is for many. If you show signs of it being a trigger for you avoid it at all costs. Stress/anxiety/panic attacks are triggers for people but so are illegal drugs, antidepressants and even antibiotics. We dont know how the brain chemistry is affected but if you are at risk try and avoid these things
Dully noted. But if I just take small amounts to relax, wouldn't that be fine? Also, you mention CBD alot which I researched when in my early stages of dp and read.many good thing about it. Up until a year ago, I had no idea CBD was part of the same plant along with 400 other chemicals.

What CBD would you recommend?
 

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If ur not panicking as much and u really think ur feeling better and clearer a day after, I don't see y not, as long as ur not making urself worse, I say fuck it and live ur life, (as long as ur not going backwards) maybe it will help, maybe it doesn't at all
I say do ur thing man but if it makes u worse I'd suggest not I guess, idk man
I'm going on but if it helps fuck it y not
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm quite simple. No way I'd ever do acid, or any other powerful psychoactive drug.
Weed for the most part if taken lightly or moderately, has done good to me.

I do wish to clarify that I don't think weed caused my dp but, in combination with my longtime anxiety and my periods of anxiety while I was high, acted as a catalyst.

I had smoked prior dp just fine. I even got seriously high before and of course had bad trips. This accumulation of stress and adrenaline probably threw my fight or flight system out of balance.
PTSD usually suffer from short term disassociation and dp as well.

I'm not surprised if this is the case for many who have unstable emotional maturity, prone to anxiety and OCD.

I say this, because this applies to me and many others who've I talked to. I'm sure this isn't the only criteria, there could be many other reasons why ppl get dp. But I do believe anxiety to be a major culprit.

You are right about what you said. It could be exposure to the fear. I haven't smoked in 4 days and feel fine actually. I barely think about dp.

I do want to remind others that I'm like 99% there. So that could be a factor -- don't know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
What does being almost entirely recovered feel like? Does it feel like anything?
Your thoughts and body start to make sense again. You catch yourself one day rambling on about boring stuff to friends and neighbors only to realize you haven't ruminated on DP for almost the whole day. Those particular moments of glimmering lucidity begin to expand. The whole idea of DP -- the memories of it, the first time it sets in -- begins to fade away, slowly becoming a dream. Objects become clearer; they don't feel distant anymore. The "veil" between you and the surrounding world slowly disappears, reanimating the senses once more.

An admission of sadness and guilt overcomes you that a better individual is waiting at the other side of this ride. Your view on mortality shrinks but the essence of who you are grows and learns. Depression follows suit (at least for me). I'ts almost weird to say, but it's as if you become so acquainted with that dreaded feeling that it becomes home for a while. Upon returning, everything feels strange but quite familiar.
Depression eventually subsides and you go back to complaining about mundane stuff like taking out the trash or cleaning the bathroom.
 

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I tried full spectrum CBD from hemp. So it has other cannabinoids in it which cause the 'entourage effect' and makes it more effective. I just wouldn't risk skunk at all, and only weed that I absolutely knew had a good ratio of THC;CBD. For me after all this I wouldnt risk it, but its your life. I wouldn't recommend it though, you never know when you might have a panic attack and get stuck like that
 

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I would stay away from weed full stop. People are so quick to try and excuse smoking weed saying it's only a catalyst for their problems not the cause. No, weed causes DP that you never would have had without smoking weed. Weed gave me depersonalisation disorder and I cannot sit by whilst people excuse this awful drug. Weed does not help those with anxiety and panic disorder, it ruins them. And by your own admission you're susceptible friend. Why do you keep risking your mental health to get high?
 

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I think yes it is fine. People have to realize (love saying that for some reason) that WEED didn’t cause it, the anxiety did. And sometimes getting over he anxiety of smoking weed can helo get over the anxiety of dp/dr returning.
 

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I think yes it is fine. People have to realize (love saying that for some reason) that WEED didn't cause it, the anxiety did. And sometimes getting over he anxiety of smoking weed can helo get over the anxiety of dp/dr returning.
That's like saying smoking didn't cause lung cancer, the lung cancer did.

Only thing people need to realise is that weed is disastrous bullshit that paves the way for life-long mental health problems
 

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That's like saying smoking didn't cause lung cancer, the lung cancer did.

Only thing people need to realise is that weed is disastrous bullshit that paves the way for life-long mental health problems
But weed didn't cause it. More than about half the people who have it don't get it from smoking weed. Weed also affects people very differently. Some people actually feel better after smoking some people worse. So in the end it is up to you HOWEVER I still stand on my point that getting over the anxiety of feeling high, just like getting over seeing a movie in theatres or going to a restaurant, it might help you get over derealization.
 

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There is such a strong link between smoking weed and the development of anxiety, panic, psychosis and schizophrenia. half of people getting it from weed is one hell of a high percentage.

The psychoactive effects of weed are completely inappropriate for someone susceptible to dp and panic, it's nothing to do with an anxiety of getting high. You SHOULD fear weed as a sufferer, the psychoactive changes it results in can cause irreparable mental assault. The only thing I agree with you on is that it's up to you but I am absolutely dismayed at the amount of people advocating this horrible drug on a dp forum.

And yes, I got dpd from weed 12 years ago. Never the same again.
 

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My friend,
Please stop smoking weed. Even though it's not the reason that causes DP, it's a trigger that brings to the surface a sleeping giant from some trauma in the past from our life. Please don't go there again, you're playing with fire. I smoked weed many years ago, then dp set in after a huge panic attack. That's was it, never been the same since. Save yourself the agony.
 
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