Janine,
Your posts are always sooooo informative and the analogies you use are always so well thought! :lol:
And as I've been involved with this site for what I think has been a couple years, I see the trend to your posts. The thinking outward. And I totally understand this reasoning. I realize I think may too much and overanalyze, etc....etc...etc.... And I know that I need to think outward and not dwell on the way I feel. But ya know...I've been feeling like this and dealing with DP for sooooo incredibly long that I just don't see how I will break out of this. And I know this isn't the thought process to have, but it's really hard. And I am soooooo depressed. Like honestly Janine, all I really want to do is sleep. Thats it. Period. End of discussion. I have a hard time wanting to do anything else. And that is scary. Very scary. I am at a time in my life where I should be at my most vivrant and most active. But this anxiety and depression and DP have made things so bad, scary and unenjoyable, that I feel like I am gonna lose it! Seriously lose it. I contemplate thinking about not even being here anymore.
Yes, I felt a alot better last week and weekend, but this week has been horrid! Straight HORRID. Yes, I know I just re-started Zoloft and need to give it some more time. But how much time do I really have left? How much longer can I dig deep and find the energy to live like this?
That is what scares me so much! Because it follows me everywhere! EVERYWHERE! I don't want to lose my friends, I don't want to lose my job, I want to keep going to school, I want to keep working out, I want to ENJOY MY LIFE. And right now, I am no where near that. Life is a living mental f'n hell!
Kelson
Your posts are always sooooo informative and the analogies you use are always so well thought! :lol:
And as I've been involved with this site for what I think has been a couple years, I see the trend to your posts. The thinking outward. And I totally understand this reasoning. I realize I think may too much and overanalyze, etc....etc...etc.... And I know that I need to think outward and not dwell on the way I feel. But ya know...I've been feeling like this and dealing with DP for sooooo incredibly long that I just don't see how I will break out of this. And I know this isn't the thought process to have, but it's really hard. And I am soooooo depressed. Like honestly Janine, all I really want to do is sleep. Thats it. Period. End of discussion. I have a hard time wanting to do anything else. And that is scary. Very scary. I am at a time in my life where I should be at my most vivrant and most active. But this anxiety and depression and DP have made things so bad, scary and unenjoyable, that I feel like I am gonna lose it! Seriously lose it. I contemplate thinking about not even being here anymore.
Yes, I felt a alot better last week and weekend, but this week has been horrid! Straight HORRID. Yes, I know I just re-started Zoloft and need to give it some more time. But how much time do I really have left? How much longer can I dig deep and find the energy to live like this?
That is what scares me so much! Because it follows me everywhere! EVERYWHERE! I don't want to lose my friends, I don't want to lose my job, I want to keep going to school, I want to keep working out, I want to ENJOY MY LIFE. And right now, I am no where near that. Life is a living mental f'n hell!
Kelson