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For the past two months I have been an empty hollow shell of a human. I don't know what changed because I thought I was getting better for awhile but things just crashed all around me. I don't even remember what emotions are and what they felt like. I also suffer from OCD so every day I am constantly inside my head thinking about different obsessions. My current obsession is what it means to be human and why do humans feel emotions and things. I never even considered things like this before but ever since the thought entered my head I feel so empty inside and in a constant state of emptiness and depression. It's as if I'm some sort of computer program trying to understand humans and it doesn't understand at all. I feel like as if I have completely forgotten what it means to be human.

This scares me (at least the little fear I can experience) because I fear that I have permanently forgotten what it is to be human and I will never gain that understanding back. I'm afraid of turning into some sociopathic logic machine with no idea on how to be human. I don't know what to even do anymore. The thoughts are constantly in my head and every morning I wake up feel empty and I hate it. Has anyone experienced these feelings? Have any of you gotten better? I'm so lost right now. I'm seeing a therapist but it isn't helping.
 

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yes..
and it seems i am lost sense of being a human. this same empty state has lasted so long. heres something good about this.. its that now you dont have to deal with painful emotions anymore. or life.
but i know this is not worth living
life could be so much more
in here its just impossible to realise
are you still self conscious. like thinking much what other thinks and your looks etc?
 
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