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I am tired of being stuck in a state of dp/dr. There's a lot of stories of shrooms working miracles for trauma. I'm also aware that things can go wrong. I could possibly trigger HPPD/schizophrenia/bipolar/psychosis. I have no family or friends I could do this with so...

I was thinking of taking it and then just going directly to the hospital. I think if I do it alone I'll have a panic attack for sure a 50% chance I would suicide. I do have the crisis line in my phone though, as my own name. If I go to the hospital it would be impossible for me to suicide. Thoughts?
 

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I am going to do this myself.. but given your state of mind I can't say I would recommend it for you. If you think you are going to take it and then just go straight to a hospital.. that's not a positive setting for anyone to recover from trauma. I would recommend microdosing. O.2g once every four days.. this has also worked miracles for people and in my opinion is far lower risk. If you don't like it, it will be out of your system quickly and you will be back to normal. A big dose could leave you in a bad trip for hours.. whilst even the bad trips can be beneficial sometimes, I can't say it's a good idea to jump in like that for you.. start small, see how that goes..
 

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Shrooms (any psychadelic for that matter) are not a good idea for people who experience depersonalization. Unless your dp/dr there is a very mild, there is a very good chance that it will only exacerbate your feelings of depersonalization.
 

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I don't even know what that is based on? What evidence do you have to support thay statement? I've seen more stories of people curing their dpd than it being the cause.. sure there are stories of it causing people's dp but they are quite rare, it's usually marijuana. Meanwhile, there is a lot of evidence of people being cured of ptsd and depression.. it's something to be careful with, research, and look into what to expect. I'm going to be trying it next week anyway. It's a risk I'm willing to take to regain some functionality and return to work.. for me there's not a lot to lose. I've tried all conventional methods and certainly know I can't live like this the rest of my life
 

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I was thinking of taking it and then just going directly to the hospital. I think if I do it alone I'll have a panic attack for sure a 50% chance I would suicide.
I think you've pretty much answered your own question then; you're setting yourself up for a bad experience before you even touch them.

Really I feel this sort of thinking is akin to pouring petrol on yourself to put out a fire, I mean, you're presumably in a state where you're already mentally fragile and you want to throw strong psychoactives into the mix as well?

I think a potentially better course of action would be to speak to a doctor about the way you're feeling rather than taking drastic steps because you've heard anecdotal stories on the Internet about psilocybin being used as a treatment for depression, they're not the same disorder.
 

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Do not go to the hospital, that will cause a terrible trip. You will be in a different world on shrooms, I wouldn't worry about doing them by yourself.
 
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