[falling_free]

I feel like Im waiting constantly for the day where I just 'snap' back into reality and feeling like I am a part of this world I find myself in, Like a eurueka moment when I just awake and return to a state of relative normality and lucidty, where I can feel as if im in my body and real. where everything makes sense again and Im living again instead of stuck being confused about everything.

'What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. '

quote from the matrix, preety accurtully describes how I feel, I feel like I am waiting for the day when I wake up from this long overdue and numbing nightmare that is supposed to be my exsistence.

 

[falling_free]

Woooooo Im getting sucked into my computer at light speed

 

[peaceboy23]

I can tottally relate to that. I think I avoid really working on it like I need to becasue i'm sure that, as Janine says is our problem, I think I'll find the perfect answer on this board, or the solution or whatever. Or, that I'll wake up one day and it will all be perfect. Then, when that doesn't happen, I'll feel shitty again. What I need to work on is the self monitoring. When I feel good, I'll suddenly notice it, and think "hey i feel ok." THEN i think "wow, I was probably thinking about how i'm feeling good before, but I didn't notice it until I think about it now." That makes me feel as bad as I can feel, becasue I start thinking about what I've been thinking. There really is no easy solution or easy way out, and that sucks, but I need to keep remembering that. It takes time, patience and real hard work, but it can be done. I have to keep remembering this, or else the despair sinks in. I WILL get over this!