G
Guest
·Just a little food du thought:
One thing I repeatedly did that slowed up my recovery was this: I wanted to feel real, desperately...but at the same time I detested Reality. In the world of the real, I had so little power. I was, hideously, at the effect of terrible things like "Causality" and "Time and Space" and Limits and Boundaries. There were terrible events that happened in reality such as sometimes I wanted something I couldn't have and often I was faced with regrets, with how much I wished I could turn back time and do things over again....but in the confines of reality, it was a hopeless dream.
I desperately wanted to feel real. I just didn't want to live in the limits of reality.
I notice from time to time that we express our rage at the real on the board: (I'm not picking on anybody! Just using a couple of examples from my pals). JC posted recently that he was so angry that he couldn't just lounge around on the sofa with a blanket and pillow because people would think he was lazy! Well....yeah. They will. That doesn't mean he IS lazy and it certainly doesn't mean he's a bad person, but that has NOTHING to do with what other people are going to think.
When we rage against "Why is everyone LIKE that?!" we are again, denying our ability to accept reality. We are saying "WHY can't I have my cake and eat it too?!" or "Why can't I do what I want and not have people see me some way I don't want them to?!" Well, yeah. That's life. We have no control over how others see us. We can do things they want us to do and hope they respond. But if we do what they DON'T want us to do, we cannot then turn around and scream at the world because those people aren't happy with us.
Also, sc and others (me included, lol) from time to time get so angry when we post somthing and then feel misunderstood or attacked. We feel like we Didn't MEAN it that way, so nobody else should be entitled to TAKE it that way.
Not reality.
All we do is put somethign out there. People will take it however they take it. We can, if we chooose, apologize if we feel they misunderstood, but we cannot take it back, nor can we FORCE everyone else to accept our intended meaning. Some folks still might harp on what we said. Our apology isn't magic. It can't "undo" something. It can only hopefullly clarify.
My point, and I do have one, grin..is this: watch for how much energy you spend raging against reality. Watch for how FURIOUS you get when things are not heard the way you want them to be, or when people important to you cannot be controlled exactly the way you wish they could.
Accept reality as much as you can. It will make it easier for reality to accept YOU back into its fold.
Peace,
J
One thing I repeatedly did that slowed up my recovery was this: I wanted to feel real, desperately...but at the same time I detested Reality. In the world of the real, I had so little power. I was, hideously, at the effect of terrible things like "Causality" and "Time and Space" and Limits and Boundaries. There were terrible events that happened in reality such as sometimes I wanted something I couldn't have and often I was faced with regrets, with how much I wished I could turn back time and do things over again....but in the confines of reality, it was a hopeless dream.
I desperately wanted to feel real. I just didn't want to live in the limits of reality.
I notice from time to time that we express our rage at the real on the board: (I'm not picking on anybody! Just using a couple of examples from my pals). JC posted recently that he was so angry that he couldn't just lounge around on the sofa with a blanket and pillow because people would think he was lazy! Well....yeah. They will. That doesn't mean he IS lazy and it certainly doesn't mean he's a bad person, but that has NOTHING to do with what other people are going to think.
When we rage against "Why is everyone LIKE that?!" we are again, denying our ability to accept reality. We are saying "WHY can't I have my cake and eat it too?!" or "Why can't I do what I want and not have people see me some way I don't want them to?!" Well, yeah. That's life. We have no control over how others see us. We can do things they want us to do and hope they respond. But if we do what they DON'T want us to do, we cannot then turn around and scream at the world because those people aren't happy with us.
Also, sc and others (me included, lol) from time to time get so angry when we post somthing and then feel misunderstood or attacked. We feel like we Didn't MEAN it that way, so nobody else should be entitled to TAKE it that way.
Not reality.
All we do is put somethign out there. People will take it however they take it. We can, if we chooose, apologize if we feel they misunderstood, but we cannot take it back, nor can we FORCE everyone else to accept our intended meaning. Some folks still might harp on what we said. Our apology isn't magic. It can't "undo" something. It can only hopefullly clarify.
My point, and I do have one, grin..is this: watch for how much energy you spend raging against reality. Watch for how FURIOUS you get when things are not heard the way you want them to be, or when people important to you cannot be controlled exactly the way you wish they could.
Accept reality as much as you can. It will make it easier for reality to accept YOU back into its fold.
Peace,
J