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Visual Distortions Did i push myself into another illness?

827 Views 6 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  andinfinity
Just recently I was working for a company that I was unhappy with but I needed to change from my old job so the last week that I was there I had a huge anxiety attack and ended up quitting a few days later but that anxiety attack really left me disconnected from myself and the depersonalized all over again mind you I haven’t dealt with any of these feelings for about four years now and of course it happens here at this new job but this time was different I started to feel like everything I looked at was just looked weird And I started to feel like every faint noise I started to hear I would try to focus on so I can make sure I’m actually hearing it the point where I hear a really low pitch of a siren and I live in Brooklyn so there’s cars cop cars and ambulances passing by all the time so I know when I’m hearing it and I know when it’s actually not there but for some reason my hearing is picking up on the slightest noise it and I’m thinking that I’m hearing things but it’s really hard for me to distinguish whether I’m actually hearing things or maybe I’m hearing things from a distance and my hearing is just hypersensitive . I would look at certain things and it would look like the resembled a face but I know I’m at being a face but if it’ll be like two dots next to each other I’ll be like oh my brain will register it as eyes it would just start to look like a weird shape or shadow I don’t know how to explain it without making it seem like I’m hallucinating because I know what I’m seeing is there but it’s just my brain registering it as something else so for instants cars I’ll look at the front of the car and it’ll have such a pronounced look to it when it comes to the headlights and the grill like it’ll look like a face but I know it’s not and I don’t see actual eyes but that’s just the effect it’s having on me it’s almost as if the effect that I’m getting from things I look at are kind of threatening and weird that’s how my body or my mind is taking it as it’s so hard to explain and it’s hard to put into words especially while typing . It’s kind a like when you go to a therapist and they show you a set of pictures and they’ll ask you or hey what do you see some people say hey I see a face some people say I see a tree it’s like is if my brain is registering everything as being facial like and I’m asking myself all of the worrying that ive doing about potentially having schizophrenia if I’ve caused a break in my brain to now almost start to want to see things it’s really weird and I don’t know how to further explain it does anybody know what I’m talking about I hope so.. all I know is this is not the first time I’ve had an anxiety attack and been D personalize it’s happened to me almost 5 times between the ages of 17 and present day and sometimes it lasts for months upon months close to a year sometimes it’ll last for a week or two but I’ve never experienced this symptom before and it’s scaring me. I just want to live a normal life and I’m at the point where I’m probably going to be getting engaged soon settling down hopefully start a family and this is the last thing I need on my plate is any type of hallucinations or getting to the point where maybe I become schizophrenic.... Cause i feel like ive now done it to myself... thoughts?
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When I first felt anxiety and dpdr I was googling too much and saw the word schizophrenia and freaked out. I looked it up to make sure I didn't have any of the symptoms like hearing voices and stuff like that. I was relieved to find that I didn't. However since then I feel like my senses are super alert and that I can notice thinks in my peripheral vision because I was so convinced that maybe I'm hallucinating things. It still happens where I'll catch a shadow or light and I guess my brain is just ready to react to danger. But when I really look I'll see that it's nothing major. I feel like when I was worried about being schizophrenic I made myself hyper aware of everything to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. The less anxious I am the less I notice things. So I came to the conclusion that it's just my brain messing with me.
I am really hoping that is what's happening to me. Its so uncomfortable it always feels like im going to start hallucinating or something i just want it to go away. Feels like death.
Ive experienced the "seeing faces in things" for about 3 years now, but I did not have this at the beginning of my dp 7 years ago, which is kind of disturbing. So like you, I also started to have it later on I guess. This here describes it, but I think I read somewhere else that in regards to mental illness, it actually could be a part of psychosis. I think even a different term was used for it. This is all I can find on it now though.
Pariedolia can happen to anyone, but in the context of mental illness, I think its related to dissociative and psychotic mental states if its happening very frequently and alot more strongly.
Wow im so surprised that someone can relate to that and its the same for me i havent had an "episode" in 3-4 years and all of a sudden th DP comes back with new symptoms. I dont get it. Have you been to a therapist and spoke about it? If so what did they say?im waiting in my health insurance to kick in and thn im running to one
Im so aware of my surroundings and stuff i dont feel like im losing touch with reality its just the fear and feeling disconnected . I just started a new job one that actually makes me happy so i want to get back to my normal self so it doesnt interfere .. more thn anything
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