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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys, long time no post... :)

Been feeling a lot better and been really busy getting stuck back into life. It was the weirdest thing to log on and look at the Dp discussion forum and not go through each post and go 'already read that, read that, and that ...'. The day you log on and you don't recognise the whole page of topics has to be a good sign!

This whole dp thing has to be one of the most troubling mental problems there is. From what I understand, a lot of us on this site suffer from dp due to psychological problems, caused by a weak sense of self. That sounds really vague. This is how I experience or understand dp. If something troubles us that threatens our ego or makes us anxious, we get confused. Then our symptom, our defence mechanism, namley dp, kicks into action. Like our brains go into neutral, rather than going forward, for fear of any more confusion. The problem is, sometimes you don't notice that subtle change in gear, and carry on the rumination in your head and everything then starts to get even more confusing and foggy. At this point you know your brain has tripped a wire but you can't help the obsessive thinking. It then becomes difficult to figure out why you suddenly feel different or out of place. Because the nature of dp makes you doubt everything and feel so confused which threatens our sense of self even more. Its a vicious circle. Really vicious aswell, the bastard.

It is almost as if you feel the need to follow the thought through to its conclusion, leaving you drained and confused and foggy headed, and unable to 'understand' things because your inner self has suddenly come unglued.

For me, it can be an accumulation of negative thoughts over the day, maybe even gone unnoticed, or one thought that triggers my brain to go 'oops, hang on, conflict, that thought doesn't fit right - where shall we file this one guys?' and everything goes into breakdown mode. Unfortuntely it is so counterproductive it's unbelievable. But we needn't stay in that mode to sort out the problem, but I feel that what we probably all do is go chasing off in the wrong direction trying to solve our feelings triggered by the symptom as opposed to the feelings that trigger the symptom. This vicious circle keeps us in dp. (For those who experience like I do - mental ruminations, foggy thoughts etc)

Having been dp free for a while and spent a lot of time reading psychobabble, I can almost stand aside and watch dp when it tries to come a-knocking. I feel like I'm watching a naughty child try and tie my shoe laces without me seeing- 'go on, try it, make my day, you little brat.....'

I can see why it is so difficult to understand because it is just so damn confusing with so many variables thrown in for good measure. It can throw you off track in an instant because it threatens everything you know and feel and you don't know which way to turn to help yourself out of the maze. We can't lead each other out of this maze but we can help each other to take the right turn in the right direction with advice and support. If I could give any advice to anyone who may suffer in a similar way to myself, what I have learnt about removing myself from dp and having had it reinforced after a 'dip' today is this: You can become totally consumed, dp is just a symptom and it is like being ill, you are not functioning properly at this point. The aftermath of that initial reaction is chaos.

'It takes a very strong and wise person to distrust his own thinking' - Richard Carlson

'Just because you are doing something wrong, doing it more intensely isn't going to help ' - Vince Lombardi

Step aside and don't think of yourself as just this confused mess, no matter how overwhelming that sensation is, you are still you underneath. The nature of dp makes us focus on the negative. But the key to resolving negativity is not to focus on it, or to think our way out of it, as your brain will only produce more negative scenarios. The answer is not found that way. Work on the positives, focus on them and develop this way of thinking and the negatives will fall away.

This helped me get out of dp, yet the whole post is kind of contradictory because it focuses on symptoms! I hope some of it made sense and some of you can relate. Any opinions or views welcome because I am still learning too!!!!

Gx
 
G

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See, there is probably an experience of dp without obsessiveness..but for Obsessional DP sufferers, everything you say is 100 per cent correct.

It's not that we have dp and also have obsessions about it. The THOUGHTS (those "follow the yellow brick road" obesssions, where we trace every bread crumb to see where it leads in our thought process....) are PART of the symptom.

You cannot get rid of a delusion while still BELIEVING the delusion.

Before anyone can "stop" the ruminations, we need to work HARD to convince ourselves (even for one minute) that those delusions are FALSE. sc asked awhile back, "how do I stop obsessing?" the first step is that. Work hard and relentlessly to dispel the value of the obsessions.

You can't just "Stop" while still investing the thoughts with power. You can't just say "well, I know there is truth to be found, or deep profound questions that need my attention...but I will try to turn away from them..." Won't work.

Instead, through therapy or self-analysis, or hitting your head repeatedly with a small brick, you have to talk yourself OUT of the delusion that those thoughts are meaningful. You need to try to realize that they are like ghosts tempting you out a window....luring you to fall, luring you with smoke and chains in the night....fascinating you like a mirage.

That's step one. And it can take years, guys. There is no way to quickly change a delusional mind. And I am telling you, those self-monitoring obessions and quests for profound understanding are delusions.

Peace,
Janine
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I must try that hitting my head with a brick thing later tonight when I've had a few glasses of wine. I will be sueing you for brain damage tomorrow :wink:

I have come to realise that dp is different for everyone and what I said above may not apply to a lot of people. There does appear to be an obssessive form of dp.

It's almost like you are totally convinced that you are suddenly seeing things in their true light, and that the you of ten minutes ago was actually the deluded one. There is no definitive test that you can do test yourself to see if the real 'you' is operating. It comes with time and having developed a stronger sense of self, and this in turn gives you some inner strength or wisdom to say 'this is b*llocks and not the real me. now bugger off and let me get on with it!!!' (come to think of it - Ive never heard an American say b*llocks or bugger - do you use those words or am I sounding like Hugh Grant in Four Weddings?) Also, with a stronger sense of self, you are less likely to fall victim to dp in the first place.

It's not that I follow a particular delusion, it is like seeing myself fragmented and not able to solve why my self image is this way. The reason I got there in the first place, is perpetuated by the sensation the symptom gives me. So any thought, however mundane, is followed to absolute conclusion. Though there is no conclusion as it could go on forever.

Analysis Paralysis I've heard it called before.
 
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There is even a commonly used term for it in the analytic literature - has to do with a fantasy/delusion called "death of the self." And included within that delusion is "momentary awareness...like an epiphany....of something BEYOND self, or the awareness that self has died, or never existed.."

But the key there is SUDDEN (and it can recur over and over a thousand times in the course of the symptom/illness). Each time one has that "epiphany" one feels "closer" to Truth, or as if one has never really been THIS aware of it before....that's partly why we feel the same damn level of horor each time we freak out - it's like re-living the same Ephiphany Moment of the realization that I am dead, or I am not real or I never existed....

Peace,
Janine
 

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Congradulations on your progress g-funk! Its fantastic to see an account of someone making ground in the recovery from this illness. Regardless of how differently DP affects each one of us, youve wisely pointed out that acceptance is one of the cornerstones of getting better, a point that I'd never considered with adiquite weighting. Congradulations once again on your progress, and thankyou for an inspirational post.
 
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this is a good thread. Back to work for me now, but I hope to add something later. And Janine - still looking for those printed, step-by-step instructions on how to stop obssessing about things...
 
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